Heartbreakingly tied to you
by ggfan78
Summary: Post Beltway and Fitz letting her go. After he returns from G8 he comes home to find that she fled DC.
1. Surprise

"What do you mean she's gone?" Fitz asked not entirely grasping the concept of what Cyrus had told him. He had just returned from being away for the G8 for three weeks. With the exception of Cyrus and his two kids he hadn't spoken to anyone else.

"I haven't seen nor spoken to her since that night at the restaurant." Fitz's heart dropped to the floor. That was the night he told her that he was letting her go and the moment the words were out of his mouth he wanted to take it all back. Her face may have held the brave facade she wanted to project but it was always her eyes that betrayed her and he saw how much he had hurt her by agreeing to let her go even if she had been pushing him to do it.

"Do we know if she's alright?"

"She checks in with her staff regularly and she assures them she's fine."

"She's not at home?"

"I tried to see her after you'd left but no one was answering."

"Do you have any idea where she could be?" Cyrus shook his head. He had tried all the possibilities he could think of and it always came up empty. He even had Charlie look for her but when he couldn't find her Cyrus guessed that Huck had a hand in making her untraceable.

"Please keep trying."

"Of course." Cyrus answered knowing it would be futile to argue, even if he knew that if Olivia Pope did not want to be found, she would remain hidden. With no one but her gladiators as family there was no else she could be tied to.

When word got out months later that Olivia Pope and Associates had closed without warning Cyrus wasn't quite sure how to break it to the President. For months he had Tom searching for her and always came up with nothing which meant she did not want him to find her.

"It was only a matter of time Cy. I think we both knew from the very beginning that she was never going to come back." He knew it was the only way she felt they could both move on from each other.

When Fitz had declared he was letting her go, it literally knocked the wind out of her. Sure she pushed and begged for him to let her go but never did she imagine he ever would. She knew that she had pushed him too far and too hard. In the end as much as it hurt, she knew that it was the right thing to do. As much as they may have loved each other, it was wrong. He had a wife, children and he was the president. How they ever thought it could or would ever work was unrealistic.

"Hello..." Fitz answered his private and secure line wearily. It had almost been a year since he had used that phone and there were only a handful of people who knew the number.

"Mr President, this is Huck."

"Huck, is she okay?" Fitz asked sitting up immediately alarmed.

"Sir, I need to see you. Alone, somewhere secure. It's important."

"Of course." Fitz answered without hesitation knowing that Huck would ensure they would be somewhere secure.

"I'll call your security detail to let them know the specifics. I'll see you tonight at 10pm."

"Huck,"

"She's okay." Huck answered the question unanswered.

Life without Olivia and not knowing where she was ate at him knowing that he could be mad at her for bolting, but he did let her go and they both knew that for as long as they stayed in the same vicinity they would always find their way back to each other. There wasn't a single moment where he didn't miss and long for her, wishing he was with her.

Fitz counted the hours till he was due to leave to meet Huck. He, Tom and Jack who replaced Hal were the only ones who knew of that evenings plans. Liv's absence had brought him closer to Cyrus, but he knew that Cyrus would still find it foolish that he was sneaking off to see one of Liv's trusted.

A short drive, and an elevator ride later Fitz was knocking on an apartment door. Huck answered and let his security detail sweep the loft apartment while Fitz stood anxiously by the door wondering why he was there. When the apartment was cleared Jack and Tom gave Huck a nod before closing the door behind them leaving Fitz alone with Huck.

"There is something I have to tell you, but there are rules."

"Okay,"

"What I tell you, remains in this room. No matter what you find out tonight stays between you and me."

"Huck, get to it." Huck shuffled where he stood before turning to seemingly grab something from the other room. Fitz gasped as his eyes fell on a chocolate coloured newborn in Huck's arms. The eyes and the curls confirmed immediately whose child it was.

"Her name is Isobel Grace Pope." Fitz's eyes filled with tears as Huck placed Isobel in his arms. Olivia had given her his mother's name Grace. She was beautiful. Though his own features were prominent in the little girl in his arms, she was all Olivia and he couldn't love her more.

"Where's Liv?" He asked,

"She's not here. She wanted you to meet your daughter, to not deprive you of seeing her just after she was born."

"You said there were rules,"

"She's your daughter, Liv isn't going to get in the way of you knowing her, spending time with her. She's happy for you to see her as often as you would like, but I will be there. At least till she's a little bigger. How you handle it with your family is up to you. Liv has asked that Bellie's existence not be announced to the world, at least while you are the president as she doesn't want Bellie's first few months be tarnished with a scandal nor does she want Bellie to be named the first bastard child of the United States of America." Fitz flinched but understood that Olivia's main goal was to protect their child.

"Liv doesn't want to raise Bellie in DC, she still prominently known and would rather not have to be questioned. Should you choose to want to be a part of Bellie's life she'll make a way."

"I want to talk to her. I know I don't have a right to ask but I need to talk to her." Huck nodded.

"She's due for a feed. Would you like to feed her? Liv expressed milk for her earlier."

"I'd like that." He said not once tearing his gaze away from his baby girl. Huck left the room to warm her milk before handing it to Fitz who expertly began to feed his daughter. When she was done he burped her and lulled her back to sleep.

"I love you little one. So much so that it hurts."

Olivia knew that she would have to talk to him eventually so when Huck had dropped her a message she called. Huck handed Fitz the phone taking Isobel from him to put her in her bassinet before giving him some privacy.

"Liv," Olivia closed her eyes and told herself to pull it together, his mere voice threatened to undo her.

"Yeah,"

"She's beautiful."

"She's a miracle." Olivia answered missing her daughter immensely.

"Liv,"

"No."

"I haven't said anything yet Liv," he replied with a chuckle.

"I want to give her her best chance Fitz. I know without a shadow of doubt that you love her, but you know as well as I do what her existence would mean to the world, and how cruel they will be to her. I don't want her growing up with that following her wherever she goes. I am not depriving you of being her father. The door is always open to you and she will grow up knowing who her father is and how much he loves her. I am asking you to put her first." What she was asking was to protect Isobel and he couldn't begrudge her of that.

"I want to be a part of her life as much as I can, but I understand if you want to raise her away from DC. All I ask is that it be close enough for me to steal away to every so often."

"I'm sure we can sort something out." She reassured him.

"Liv..."

"No,"

"Really?" He said in disbelief still yet to complete a sentence.

"I won't see you. I can't do this again with you. You let me go remember."

"I'm sorry." He said regretfully

"Don't be. I pushed, and I got what I pushed for. Admittedly it surprised and hurt me but it was the right thing to do Fitz. There was never going to be a happy ending for us. Don't be sorry for letting me go."

"I miss you."

"And I miss you." She confessed with a heartbreaking sigh.

"Then let me see you. Be here." He begged

"And what catch a glimpse of what we'll never had? No Fitz. This is hard enough." Imagining the three of them together as a family was already painful, but to partake in it, if only for a few minutes had the potential to completely break her.

"I love you,"

"When has loving each other ever been enough?" Olivia asked dejectedly.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there to share your pregnancy."

"Me too. I have to go, sort the details out with Huck." Fitz could hear her voice crack with so much emotion that if he could climb through the phone and pull her into his arms, he would.

"Liv..."

"Goodbye Mr President."


	2. Feeling cheated

**Thank you guys for your amazing feedback! Keep 'me coming! Hope you enjoy this chapter!**

Olivia picked up the newspaper and threw it straight into the garbage bin as soon as she saw the front page. It was the picture of the the President and the First Lady holding their son proudly announcing his upcoming 1st Birthday. She guessed that was the reason why Huck had tried to hide her newspaper from her earlier that morning. Theodore Wallace Grant, fondly known to the world as Teddy, America's Baby was the apple of his father's eye. He was a happy and chubby baby, and just like his siblings he sensed from the very beginning that Fitz was his primary parent. The press loved seeing Fitz with his children. After Mellie became pregnant Fitz demanded for Gerry and Karen to return from Boarding School and stay at the White House full time like he's always wanted. After Liv's departure Cyrus couldn't keep denying him that and made sure that the kids were returned to the White House, much to Mellie's disdain just before Teddy was born. Having the kids at home lessened the sadness he knew Fitz fought daily with the absence of Olivia. It also strengthened his polls just as Olivia always said it would. She had always fought that battle for Fitz to no avail.

Olivia looked at her daughter who was only over a few weeks old. Every time Olivia laid eyes on her her heart expanded. How she loved their little girl with all her heart, and though there was always some sadness that creeped in, Isobel was more than enough, more than she ever thought she deserved.

Huck walked in and handed her a cup of peppermint tea giving her shoulder a brief pat before leaving her alone once more.

When Pope and Associates disbanded officially in DC, Olivia wasn't prepared for the overwhelming solidarity that her gladiators offered and provided. From the moment she announced her pregnancy and confessed as to who the father of her child was, they were all on board. Though she had given them the option to keep OPA open, they all agreed that without her it would not be the same. Harrison, Abby and Quinn waited till Olivia decided where she was going to relocate and chose surrounding cities that enabled them to be within visiting distance. Without discussion Huck had stayed with her every step of the way. He made it his mission to protect Olivia and her baby. When she had decided on a small town outside DC, the house she had chosen had a granny flat at the back for Huck, so that he could remain close but still have the privacy she knew he needed. She couldn't be more grateful to all of them. They were her family, Belle's family and with them in her life she couldn't feel less than fortunate.

Abby and Quinn had taken her to every single one of her doctors appointment, while Huck and Harrison made sure she want for nothing during and after pregnancy.

It was never a surprise to find one or all of them at her house over the weekend or even throughout the week. Olivia often wondered amused whether she should have just gotten a house to house them all in. Though they all had keys to come and go as they pleased, they were aware of watching eyes and always took precautions, such as never taking the same route twice. Huck kept on top of it making sure that Olivia was not traceable through the others. He and Olivia both knew that Fitz and Cyrus sent out feelers for her regularly. She had hoped now that she has had some contact with Fitz he would stop searching.

Since he first met Isobel, Huck had taken her to the White House once to spend time with Fitz and for him to introduce her to her older siblings. Karen who was fourteen and Gerry at seventeen were not blind to the marriage of convenience that their parents existed in. They had lived all their lives through the fighting. They also weren't altogether surprised that Fitz had a relationship with Olivia as the only time they had ever seen him truly happy was when she was around. Both Gerry and Karen loved Olivia and even after she had resigned the first time, she had remained in contact with them and always readily available. To present day they had a pager number to reach her on and whenever they needed to talk to her she would call them.

The night Fitz had come home from meeting Isobel for the first time he couldn't help but wake Karen and Gerry to share the news. With Olivia gone, and Cyrus somewhat impartial, his children were his closest confidants and vice versa. They had always been the three Muskeeters and now more than ever.

"Daddy what's wrong?" Karen asked knowing by the look on his face that something was up.

"Lets go get your brother and lets have ice cream." Karen nodded and pulled her covers back and threw on her hoodie before following Fitz to Gerry's room. Fifteen minutes later all three of them sat side by side at the breakfast table with bowls of ice cream, both kids mirroring the same look of shell shocked as Fitz after he had told them.

"Wow!" They said unison.

"I'm so sorry. Falling in love with Olivia was never part of the plan. She came so unexpectedly and was such a breath of fresh air that she literally knocked the wind out of me."

"Is that the reason you fired her?" Karen asked piecing the well known anecdote together with the information he had just given them. Fitz nodded and couldn't help but smile at her astuteness.

"We fought it for as long as we could and then it happened. We never took it lightly and she was forever telling me we had to stop, that we owed you more than that and that she didn't want to hurt you both. When I became president she resigned. We didn't see each other for over a year,"

"Till Amanda Tanner," Gerry piped in as he nodded. There were no secrets between them and when Amanda Tanner threatened to expose him, he had sat his children down and admitted to his mistake. They knew him well enough to know that Amanda Tanner was a one off thing and even if he had never said it, they knew it was because he was miserable without Olivia. Which didn't mean they weren't disappointed and angry at him, but their bond allowed for forgiveness. For the next hour he answered their questions, and he consulted them on what to do next. He knew he wanted to be a part of Isobel's life and he gave them a choice not wanting to force Isobel on them if they wanted nothing to do with her, it would have broken his heart but he valued and trusted their own judgement.

"Dad, she's family. Of course we want to be a part of her life. We love Liv, we always have and though this isn't exactly your typical half sibling scenario Isobel is one of us and she would never be anything less than that." Gerry spoke for both he an Karen who shared his sentiment.

"How are you going to, I mean you're the president." Karen asked carefully,

"Liv has asked that Isobel remain a secret for her protection. She doesn't want Isobel to be labelled, and I don't either. I hate that I can't openly acknowledge her as mine as though she means less to me than the three of you. It breaks my heart that for the first few years of her life I'll just be some guy she sees every so often who brings her presents. How do I explain that to her when she's big enough to understand that you have me all the time and she never did?" Karen placed a hand over Fitz's.

"She'll understand Dad. Liv will never let her think that you love her any less. This is Liv Dad. She knows what a great father you are and she would be the first to make sure that Isobel knows that you love her."

Olivia wasn't at all surprised that her Grant specific pager went off the morning after Fitz met Isobel. She made herself a cup of tea before making the phone call.

"Hey Liv,"

"Hey Kare. I take it you've had the Three Muskeeters pow wow already." Karen smiled, she certainly knew them well. She knew them better than her own mother did.

"Are you okay?" Karen asked affectionately.

"I am sweetheart." Olivia, from the moment she met her had always looked out for her and genuinely loved her. Despite how old she got she was always her little Kare Bear.

"A little sore, tired but as good as can be expected when pushing something a size of a watermelon out of something size of a lemon."

"Ewww Liv, TMI." Olivia laughed.

"Sorry! Are you, are you and Ger okay?"

"Yeah. It was a shock and it wasn't." Liv had to chuckle

"She's our little sister Liv, she's one of us. We love you, we love her. We want to be a part of her life."

"And I love you too kiddo. That's never changed."

"I know."

"I'll have Huck arrange a time with your Dad so he can bring her to the White House to meet her big brothers and her big sister."

"I miss you Liv," Karen confessed.

"I'm still here sweetheart. That hasn't changed. Did I not call within the five minute slot?"

"I know, and I appreciate that more than you know. Especially now." Liv for the last couple of years had always been within calling distance. When Karen and Gerry were away at school she spoke with them at least once a fortnight because she knew how much they hated being there.

"When can Gerry and I see you?"

"Soon sweetheart. I'm still finding it hard to get around. I'll send Huck with Belle to meet you and then we can arrange a visit okay?"

"Sounds good."

Not at all surprising Gerry and Karen took to Isobel immediately. They loved her instantly and it meant a lot to Fitz that they did. Though Fitz had told Mellie about Isobel he waited till he knew she would be away so that they could all spend time with Isobel without her hovering. Huck had arrived early in the afternoon with Belle, and with the help of Tom and Jack he was able to enter and leave the White House residence without detection.

The more time Fitz spent with Isobel the harder it was for him to part with her. As he stared at his beautiful child all he could see was her beautiful mother. Ironically when Liv looked at Isobel all she could see was Fitz. How she missed him and despite their best of intentions she felt like she was cheating her daughter. The front page of the newspaper triggered such emotions and as hard she fought them, it made her sad.

The ringing of her phone interrupted her thoughts, distractedly she picked it up.

"Hello,"

"Hey Liv,"

"Gerry hey," she replied surprised. She had given Karen her new home number the night they talked and since then they had been checking in with her, but it was always Karen who called and Gerry jumped in throughout the conversation. He never called her.

"Is everything alright Ger?" She asked worriedly.

"Yeah Liv, we're all okay. I just wanted to call you..."

"Because you figure I've seen the morning paper." She completed.

"Yeah," he admitted. Olivia smiled. Gerry was undeniably protective of Karen, and when she came into their lives he began to look out for her too.

"Kid I'm fine."

"Liar," he challenged.

"Okay, the paper is in the bin." She confessed.

"That wasn't hard was it?" He teased.

"Yeah yeah."

"Seriously Liv, you know that's all Mom and Uncle Cyrus just trying to capitalize on America's Baby. Dad would never, especially now. Not with Izzy Bear out there."

"I know Ger. The thing is Teddy deserves it, and that's all that matters. I just had a moment, a brief one. It passed, and you calling has made all the difference." She promised.

"Good. So this weekend?"

"Yes, we're on. Huck will come and pick you guys up with your detail and we'll all hang for the day."

"Looking forward to it. Karen's going to call you in a bit, she was just summoned to play daughter in some mother daughter high tea business."

"I'm sure she's thrilled," Olivia chuckled sarcastically,

"Yeah I'm going to need to talk her off several ledges after spending three consecutive hours with Mom on her own. I swear if she thought she'd get away with putting me in a dress, she'd beg till I did it."

"And we both know you would have done it for her too."

"Yeah well, it's always been me and her against the world. Well me, her, Dad and you. Don't think we don't know you fought for us to not be sent away. With the exception of Dad you're the only one who's really been there for Kare and I. That will always mean so much to us both. So thank you."

"It was my pleasure. You guys aren't exactly hard to love."

"Unless you're our mother," he said dryly.

"She loves you guys. She just shows it differently to what you're used to with your Dad." Olivia tried to reason,

"Hey Liv, why didn't you let him?" She took a deep breath knowing what he was asking,

"Because the American people would have crucified him and his whole legacy would be disgraced and you would all be caught in a scandal. Sometimes the consequences are just too big."

"You know he would have..."

"I know, but the cost would have been too high."


	3. Happy birthday Baby

"Happy Birthday my beautiful little girl. Mama loves you to the moon and back again." Olivia whispered into her daughters ear as she held her close to her chest.

Isobel Grace was a year old and for the most part her life was uneventful, well with the exception of having the President as her Dad she was just like any normal little girl. Thanks to Huck, Tom and Jack's amazing skills, the existence of Isobel Grace remained unknown, which was something Olivia was eternally grateful for at the same time it broke her heart.

True to his word Fitz had kept her daughter free from scandal. He saw Isobel as often as his job would allow it without drawing attention. Every night he called to FaceTime so that he could see her and so that she could hear him. Gerry and Karen visited more frequently as they weren't so closely watched. When they would be missing everyone assumed they were at school or Santa Barbara all the while with Liv whenever they could get away with it. Mellie had long since given up with showing her disapproval as they paid no attention to it. Fitz couldn't deny them getting to know their little sister. So whenever they asked, he willingly gave them his blessing. It made him feel better that if he couldn't be there for Isobel as much as he would have liked to, Gerry and Karen stood in his place. They brought back photos and videos for him to see and in turn they told Isobel all about him and reminded her, just as Liv did how much Fitz loved her. Liv had made sure there were photos of Fitz in her room. Photos with him, with her siblings, there was even a photo of the two of them sitting on the lamp table beside Isobel's crib. It was a photo that Karen and Gerry had framed for Isobel on her Christening. The wanted her to have something that showed just how much her parents loved each other. Olivia read the sentimentality behind it, that they wanted her to know that she wasn't a mistake, or a dirty little secret. That she was made with and from love. The photo was taken after the inauguration. Karen had taken it with her then new SLR. She had caught the moment that Liv was straightening his tie, which wasn't at all out of the ordinary. Fitz had said something that made her laugh and in that moment Karen managed to capture the look of wonder in Fitz's eyes as he looked at Liv so lovingly. She had forgotten all about that photo till she was searching for a photo of Liv and Fitz. As hard as it was for her to look at it, she loved that photo. Karen had managed to capture and incredibly intimate moment.

Olivia wasn't at all surprised to hear the secure phone that Huck had arranged for Isobel so Fitz could call her began to ring just after midnight.

"Hello," she answered in a whisper not wanting to wake Isobel.

"She's asleep?" Fitz asked having hoped that she had woken wet or hungry.

"Thankfully, but it's early yet. Give me a sec and I'll switch to FaceTime so you can see her." Olivia flipped the phone and pressed the button and within moments his sleeping daughter came to view. It always took Fitz's breath away every time he laid eyes on her. She was beautiful and there was no denying that, but every time he saw her, he felt her own more and more of his heart. He longed to see her, hold her and as hard as he tried, he could count in the early two digits how many times he had seen her.

"Hi beautiful girl, it's Daddy. Happy Birthday! Daddy loves you sweet girl, up to the moon and back." Olivia swallowed back the tears that threatened to break free. She forced herself to pull it together,

"Liv," he said softly breaking her trance.

"Hmmm yeah." Was the most coherent reply she could muster taking the phone off FaceTime and pulling it back to her ear. It had taken months for her to allow him to speak to her. Usually when he called she would pass it on to Huck or to whoever was there to facilitate his daily FaceTime with Isobel. Even now when she answered it was centered and was solely about Isobel.

"I wish,

"I know Fitz. I know. She knows you love her and that you would be with her if you could. Gerry and Karen will be here tomorrow, so in some ways you'll be here." Fitz loved being the President, but he was well aware of what it had cost him. It cost him the love of his life and his youngest child. Guilt ate him up every time he allowed his brain to travel in that direction. Not a day went by that he didn't long for Olivia. He missed her. He missed talking to her, he missed being in her life. He knew he was privy to more than he deserved thanks to Gerry and Karen, but it wasn't the same. She was the only person who truly knew him and loved him despite his short comings.

"Hey Liv," he began not quite sure if it was the right time to bring it up, but at the same time knew that it had come from him before it was leaked.

"It's that time of the year," Olivia closed her eyes and found herself hugging Isobel a little tighter knowing what was coming.

"They're asking me to run for second term." There was a moment of silence before Olivia spoke.

"Of course they are. You've done great things and you should finish what you started."

"It just means,"

"I know what it means Fitz." She said cutting him off.

"Ask me not to run?"

"No. I should never be a factor in that decision. We're done Fitz, we were done even before the restaurant. You love being the president, and you still have so much you want to do. Go for it. Do it. Run, because you deserve to live out your dreams and America needs you. If you truly are weighing your decisions, then the best people to speak to would be Gerry and Karen because they're the ones who would be mostly affected. I live a quiet life and I like it. I have Bellie Boo and that's enough for me. I'm no longer that woman who was so consumed by her love for you that nothing else mattered. I've changed, she's changed me. She is most important."

He knew what he was asking was for her to tell him not to run because that meant they still had a chance, that she was still willing to take him back, which was foolish and unfair.

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay. It's just the way it is. Listen I have to put her down. I still have a list of things to do for tomorrow. If you get a chance throughout the day you should call so she an hear your voice."

"I will do. Night Livvie."

"Night Mr President."


	4. Realising what you're missing out on

"Hey Liv, I thought I'd just check in." Gerry greeted as Liv answered her phone.

"Hey Slugger, how's campaign life treating you and your siblings?" Liv asked as she moved Bellie to her hip.

"You should remember from last time." He replied dryly. Olivia chuckled, she did remember. She almost always had them following her around like her little shadows. More often than not, wherever she was, so were they. She never minded as she adored them from the very beginning, that and having them around a lot made it easier to stay away from Fitz a lot longer than she thought possible.

"How's Bellie? We miss her, we miss you too." He added.

"She's good. She misses you guys too. We both do. Hang on, Bellie Boo say hi to Gerry." Olivia said to her daughter putting the phone on speaker. Isobel grinned at the mere mention if her older brother.

"Ger-Ger come?" She asked happily,

"Oh no little munchkin. Not today but very soon okay. Kare-Kare and I love and miss you little one."

"Love you" Isobel replied, which sounded more Lob you making both Liv and Gerry laugh a little.

"Aww it breaks my heart that we're here and not there with her. We miss her. I can't wait for college to start, you'll never be rid of me then."

Both Gerry and Karen doted on Isobel and spent every spare moment they had with her, but Gerry felt drawn and connected to Isobel in ways that none of them could deny nor understand and the feeling was more than mutual. Olivia suspected he felt responsible in filling the void of their father's absence. Olivia found that each Grant child had a different bond to Isobel. Though Teddy was older, Isobel was the one who looked out for him.

"Where's Kare?" She asked,

"With Dad at some Daddy and Daughter Dance." Olivia's heart involuntarily tightened, knowing it was yet another thing she deprived her daughter of.

"That's great. She'd love that, despite the cameras and what not, its something they get to do together."

"That's how she talked herself into putting a smile on her face for the world to see."

"Atta girl. So what are you up to?" She asked as she stirred the spaghetti sauce on the stove.

"Just finished my last exam this afternoon so Miss Ella has set me free and I've been watching crap on TV while devouring most of a whole pizza on my own."

"Nice." She said shaking her head.

"Dad, Kare and I are going to celebrate when they get back which should be soon. I almost snuck out and headed your way."

"Now that would have been interesting."

"Wouldn't it?" He replied with mischievous laugh.

"Your Dad would flip and Uncle Cyrus would have a coronary."

"I doubt Dad would be surprised and Uncle Cyrus wouldn't be Uncle Cyrus if he didn't."

"That's true." Liv and Gerry stayed on the phone till she had to feed Isobel.

Truth was she tried to avoid the TV as much as she could not wanting to follow his campaign. She didn't find she had the same need to know as she once did. In a way having Isobel curbed her need to see him, as all she had to do was look at her daughter's face and there he was.

Isobel was just about finished with her dinner when Liv's phone rang again. She smiled as she saw Karen's face flashing on the screen.

"Hey Sweetheart, how was Daddy and Daughter Dance?"

"Meh, it was alright. Surprisingly the old man still has some moves in him." Karen teased making them all laugh.

"Hey Liv, we sort of have a favour and I'm so sorry it's last minute but we weren't quite so sure if we would finish early enough tonight."

"Okay, hit me with it."

"Well you know Ger took his last exam today before college bound and we wanted to do something for him and you know Ger he doesn't like theatrics but I know he really misses you guys, we all do. It's been weeks." Karen rambled. It had been weeks since he started campaigning.

"Land your plane Kare," Liv encouraged though already knowing what was coming.

"Can we come over? Dad's organized to switch cars at the hotel and have minimum detail to not draw attention. We've run it past Tom, Jack and Huck and they think its doable. Please Liv? We miss her. We miss you both:" Olivia inwardly groaned, she had never been good at saying no to any Grant.

"Sure. As long as Huck, Tom and Jack are sure."

"Great, we'll see you soon. Don't go to any trouble. We're bringing everything."

"Alright then, I guess I'll see you soon."

"Yay, can't wait. See you soon Liv."

"See you soon Hon."

Olivia hung up the phone and groaned. What did she just get herself into? She hadn't been a room with Fitzgerald Grant since that night at the restaurant. Every time he saw Isobel, Huck had been the one with her. She herself couldn't believe that she had managed to not see him for over two years. Obviously he had an open invitation to the special occasions in Isobel's life, her christening and her birthdays, but due to understandable circumstances he wasn't able to come to any of them.

"Guess what Little one? Mommy has a surprise for you." Isobel's face lit up and she clapped happily.

"What Mommy?"

"It's a surprise but it'll be here soon enough so why don't I get you all cleaned up huh?" Having shared her food with her clothes, the table and surrounding areas Olivia took her in for a quick shower while Huck and Abby waved them off to clean up. Olivia had just dried her hair when she heard the gates to her house open. From her upstairs bedroom she saw their car drive through her driveway. She felt her heart momentarily stop as the car doors opened. Gerry and Karen were immediately out of the car running for the door while he hesitated behind them feeling as nervous as she was feeling.

"Liv..." She heard Karen's voice call out as she entered the front door. Olivia picked up Isobel from where she was playing on her bed and headed downstairs.

"Look who's here Bellie Boo?" She said as she carried her down the stairs pointing at Gerry and Karen who grinned at the sight of them. Without waiting for them to get downstairs they ran up to meet them flinging their arms around them both.

"We missed you too." Olivia said amused hugging them both hello. As Gerry took Isobel from her she wrapped her arms around Karen as they walked down the stairs. Fitz who had watched their reunion felt like the outsider looking in.

"Mr President." She greeted with a nod. Fitz smiled, needing a moment to take her all in. Two years was a long time and though he had always known it he realised just how much he missed her:

"Hey Liv." Olivia took Isobel from Gerry,

"Hey sugarplum, look who's here to see you. It's Daddy." Just as Olivia went to hand her over, Isobel looked alarmed and threw her arms around Olivia's neck burying her face on her shoulder. Fitz's face fell, his heart breaking at the realization that he had been away for so long that she didn't remember him. Sure he got to see her briefly every day through FaceTime but they all knew it wasn't enough.

"Hey sweetheart, you talk to Daddy every day. Remember?" Olivia said trying to put out the fires from all angles. Isobel raised her head and looked at him,

"Hi Baby Girl. I'm so sorry it's been ages since I've come to see you." When she felt that Isobel had relaxed in her arms she handed her to Fitz. As Isobel wrapped her arms hesitantly around his neck, Fitz hugged her tightly against him his eyes filling with tears as he did so. Not wanting to invade the privacy of their moment she led Gerry and Karen to the kitchen.

"Poor Izzy bear." Gerry said sympathetically.

"Poor Dad. He must feel awful." Karen added.

"They'll be reacquainted soon enough." Olivia said trying to reassure them both as she grabbed bowls and spoons from her cupboard while Karen unpacked the numerous tubs of ice cream they had brought over.

"Are we waiting for the whole campaign to join us for ice cream?" Olivia teased.

"We weren't sure if the whole gang was over and we didn't want to under cater," Gerry called out from her walk in pantry.

"Besides one can never have too much ice cream." He reasoned as he came out of the pantry holding chocolate fudge topping, sprinkles and other toppings. Fitz who had entered the kitchen with Isobel still in his arms observed just at home his kids were in Liv's house. Definitely more so than at the White House.

"You two okay?" She asked softly meeting his gaze,

"Yeah, we're still warming up." He replied rubbing Isobel's back soothingly as she yawned.

"You're more than welcome to put her to bed. Hey Bellie boo, Daddy's going to read to you tonight okay?" Isobel looked at Fitz and nodded before dropping her head back on his shoulder.

"Her bedroom's up the stairs in your right, follow the purple, you won't miss it. I'll get these guys set up and say goodnight."

"Night Izzy bear, we love you." Karen said giving her little sister a hug goodnight closely followed by Gerry.

Olivia caught up with Gerry and Karen for a bit before heading upstairs to check on father and daughter. The sight before her brought tears in her eyes. Fitz was laying on Isobel's bed while she lay draped over him, her head resting on his shoulder, his one arm wrapped around her little body while the other still hanging loosely outside the bed, book still in his hand while they were both fast asleep. Knowing she would have to wake him eventually she allowed him the precious moments with his daughter for a little while longer. She pulled Isobel's blanket over them both and kissed both their heads before heading back downstairs. Olivia was quick to wipe the tears from her eyes but as she came down the stairs she knew she wasn't fooling any of them.

"They're both out like a light. We can wake your Dad when it's time for you guys to go." Karen and Gerry nodded and handed her a bowl of ice cream and the three of them headed to the media room to watch a movie.

Fitz woke a little while later and tucked Isobel in. He found Olivia between his two eldest engrossed in one of their favourite films.

"Really? Again? You three have an unhealthy connection to this film." They all turned to him and rolled their eyes before turning their heads back to the movie.

"Ice cream is in the freezer. We left all the toppings on the kitchen counter. Help yourself." Olivia said absently. Fitz chuckled and headed to the kitchen to grab himself some ice cream. They had about an hour before they headed back. He looked at the photos along the wall, photos mostly of Isobel in her various changes in the two years. How he missed so much. Liv sent him photos via Huck or his kids regularly so he had seen most of them, but he hadn't seen nor been a part of any of them. He looked at the drawings all over their two door fridges. Drawings obviously done by his daughter. Stick figures, clearly he could see Olivia holding Isobel's hand. Huck, Abby, Harrison, and Quinn behind them. Gerry and Karen on the other side of Isobel and there was a line stick figure in the corner away from everyone else and he didn't need to guess who it was. He knew it was him. At the age of two his daughter had already learned not to expect him or need him and it broke his heart.

"Hey do you need a hand?" Liv asked coming into the kitchen after he had been gone for a little while."

"No I'm good." He replied realising he had yet to open the freezer door to get the ice cream. Olivia realising what had cause his momentary pause opened the freezer door and grabbed the ice cream and began to fill a bowl for him.

"I've missed out on so much." He said somewhat unnecessarily.

"Fitz,"

"How do I explain that to her when she's older? How do I make that up to her."

"You will. You love her and she knows that. When she's older she'll understand that we did this for her own protection. As bad as I feel that she misses out on you, I'm glad that she wasn't caught in the middle of our scandal. That would have been more damaging than whatever this is."

"Mr President we should get going." Tom said regretfully giving Olivia a small smile. Out of all his details it was Tom she had the softest spot for.

"Thanks for letting us just come and disturb your peace."

"Of course. The kids know this is as much their place as Bellie's, they have their own keys."

"And thank you for that. It means a lot to them to still have you."

"They always will." She promised.

"Bye Liv,"

"Goodbye Mr President." Olivia replied.

The kids came in a few seconds later to give her their his goodbye and promised to visit soon.

"Bye Liv, we'll call you tomorrow. Love you." Karen called out as she climbed into the car.

"Love you too."

"All of you." She added only to herself.

That night a loud ear piercing scream woke Olivia. Knowing immediately it was her daughter she jumped out of her bed and ran straight into Isobel's room. She got to the door just as Huck made it to the top of the stairs. The sight of her daughter sobbing as she cried out for her Daddy just about broke her heart. Olivia realised she had woken to find that Fitz was no longer there.

"I want Daddy." She cried shaking in Olivia's arms.

"Daddy had to go home sweetheart."

"I want Daddy." She sobbed.

"How about we give him a call and you can say a proper goodnight." Isobel didn't reply and just kept crying. Huck handed her the phone and placed a hand on her shoulder before heading back to his house at the back after securing the grounds.

"Liv," Fitz answered worriedly by instinct as well as the fact that Liv never called. Before she could get a word in he heard his daughter crying out for him sobbing uncontrollably.

"I'm sorry to call you. I thought maybe if she spoke to you she'd calm down." Olivia said desperately.

"You never have to apologise Liv. Especially not for this. Let me put you on FaceTime so she can see me."

"Okay." Liv flicked the phone so that Isobel could see her father,

"Hi sweetpea. Daddy's right here. I'm sorry I had to go while you were sleeping and didn't say goodbye. I didn't want to wake you."

"I want you Daddy."

"And I want to be there Princess."

"Then why aren't you here?" His two year old asked with tears in her eyes. Fitz put his shoes back on,

"Daddy's on his way back Baby girl."

"Fitz no." Olivia said knowing what a risk he's taking,

"Liv, I won't always be able to run back when she needs and wants me. Tonight by the grace of God I can. I want to. She's only two and she's already lived through so many disappointments when it comes to her Dad. For once I want to be able to give her what she wants."

"Okay, we'll see you soon." Olivia hung up the phone and hugged Isobel close and tight assuring her that Daddy was indeed on his way because he loved her so much. Within twenty minutes she was opening the door for him.

"Hey, thank you so much for coming back."

"Of course. Hi sweetheart Daddy's here." He said taking Isobel in his arms.

"Daddy," she said wrapping her arms around his neck and legs around his middle.

"Daddy's right here baby girl and Daddy loves you so much." Olivia felt her walls begin to crumble and left the room before she lost it all together. It was one thing for her to be able to live without him. It was easy to justify their choices because it protected Isobel but seeing daughter lose it was too much. She couldn't help but be angry at him for not fighting hard enough for them.

Fitz found her an hour later sitting on the bottom of the stairs lost in her thoughts. The redness in her eyes was a tell tale sign that she had spent that last hour crying. Wordlessly he sat beside her.

"I'm sorry Liv."

"I wish that made me feel better." She said honestly.

"But it doesn't. I thought we were doing okay. I thought I was doing enough and I guess I'm not."

"Liv, you are enough. That little girl wants for nothing."

"Except for the one thing neither of us can have." Olivia answered hollowly before standing to her feet. Fitz grabbed her hand and pulled her to his lap wrapping his arms around her. He cupped her face with his hand.

"I'll pull my name from re-election."

"No, not like this Fitz. Not as some bandaid to fix whatever this is. If you chose to run its because you want to run."

"I can't see you like this. I can't bare the thought of Isobel being that upset again. I can't Liv."

"You have to. This is the life you chose and choices have consequences. Unfortunately, this is ours. If I had been strong enough, I would have kept walking instead of coming back after Amanda Tanner. Instead I brought a little girl into this world whom I love more than anything and certainly have no regret in having and she lives in a half existence because the safest thing for her is for no one to ever know she exists."

A special thanks to those who take the time to review. This is a little therapeutic after the last episode which still has my head spinning.


	5. Reevaluating current arrangements

Thank you for Reading - please don't hate me for this chapter... I was just going with the flow and this is where I ended up. Let me know what you think. Thanks x

Of course he won. No one in their right mind questioned whether Fitzgerald Thomas Grant the Third was meant to run a second term. He was barely at his peak in terms of his vision for the country during his presidency and so far what he had provided gave hope to the people and they were rooting for him to win to bring it to completion.

Olivia had switched the TV off as soon as he was announced. That was all she needed to know. She didn't need to torture herself and watch the First family play happy family.

Just as she got to the kitchen she saw Abby, Harrison, Quinn and Huck in the kitchen with numerous bottles of wine and boxes of pizza. Heaven bless them. They truly were the only family she had and she wouldn't trade them in for the world.

"Pull up a chair and grab a plate. I've just checked on Bellie and she is fast asleep." Abby greeted as she bit into her slice. Harrison poured her a tall glass of wine and handed it to her. Olivia took it gratefully and sunk into the nearest chair.

His winning, though expected changed things. Isobel was getting older and more aware of her surroundings and she was starting to feel Fitz's constant absence. When she didn't see him she was okay, out of sight out if mind. However when she did see Fitz she clung to him as though he was her life raft. His presence was beginning to bring more unsettledness than comfort and Olivia needed to reevaluate her next move as she began to worry about the emotional damage it was starting to take on her three year old. She sat in semi silence, pitching in to conversation every so often but they were all aware of where her mind was. When the phone began to ring Olivia just stared at it. Abby placed a hand on her shoulder and grabbed to answer it.

"Mr President,"

"Abby?"

"Yes sir,"

"Is Olivia there?"

"Here Sir?" Abby watched as Olivia rose from the table and head upstairs to her room.

"No Mr President, she isn't here." Fitz knew Abby was only telling half truths, but he also knew she was protecting Olivia.

"Can I see Bellie?" He asked.

"Of course, let me bring you to her. She's been asleep for a bit but you can say goodnight." Abby headed up to Isobel's room and flipped the phone to FaceTime so that Fitz could see his youngest.

"Hello my little princess?" He said softly to the sleeping child.

"Daddy misses you so much. You and your mommy. Daddy had a big day today and I wish you and Mommy could have been there. Not a day goes by that I don't wish you're with me. I love you both so much." Abby's eyes began to fill with tears. It was one thing to be angry at him for hurting her friend but there was no denying that Fitzgerald Grant through all his faults and shortcomings loved Olivia and Isobel Pope.

"Thank you Abby," Fitz said gratefully, he knew that Olivia's family of gladiators were protective and had been there from day one. When he wasn't there, they were. Unconditionally, faithfully and loyally.

"You're welcome Sir." Abby replied trying to regain her composure bringing the phone back to her ear.

"Will you please tell Liv I called and I'll try her again later. Or if she wants she can call me. I'll be up for awhile."

"I will do." Abby promised as she dropped her lips to Isobel's head before checking on Olivia who she found on her bed with her back turned away from the door. Abby knew that Olivia had heard their exchange through the baby monitor.

"He said he'll give you another call a little later or if you wanted to call him he'll be up for awhile."

"Thanks Abby,"

"Did you want to come back down and finish your dinner?" Olivia didn't really feel like it, but she also didn't want to wallow so she got up to join the rest of them. As she reached the door Abby pulled her into her arms, unable to hold it in for any longer Olivia broke down and wept.

"I thought this was over, but it isn't is it? It's like his winning the first time but instead of it being my heart being broken its Bellie's. As her mother I can't let him keep doing it, but at the same time I know it would kill him to not be a part of her life. I don't want to do this with him anymore. I don't want to do the right thing anymore. I just want it to stop hurting so much."

"Oh Liv, I don't think it will ever not hurt. Together of apart. Remember you are the one that says that you want love to be devastating, well honey it is that at the very least. Your love is out of the ordinary, once in a lifetime."

"It's also wrong, forbidden and unattainable."

"For now.."

"Really Abby, if he wanted to leave her, if he didn't want to run for a second term he could have divorced Mellie by now and he wouldn't need to ask me whether he should run for a second term. He's with her because its what looks right. He ran for second term because its what he wants."

"And if he did divorce his wife in the middle of his presidency and he didn't run for a second term he wouldn't be the man you fell in love with. You love that man for all of inequities and shortcomings as well as his strengths, it's what makes him your Fitz. Yes this hurts, but you always knew it would Liv."

Olivia knew Abby was right. She did love him for all his strengths and weaknesses. It made him her Fitz. The person she knew so well that he didn't need to speak a word, she got him with one look.

"I'm one thing Abby, but I can't consciously allow him to just pop in and out of our daughters life when he can and watch her fall apart every time he leaves her. I'm the one who has to console her and convince her that even though he leaves, he loves her. How do I convince her when I have trouble convincing myself?" Olivia confessed.

"Oh Liv," Abby cried holding her friend tightly against her as she rubbed her back soothingly.

Fitz through his happiness for having won his second term felt like someone had died. Perhaps it was the knowledge that he was more than likely slamming the door on whatever possibility he had with Olivia. His visits with Isobel, for all the comfort it brought him had began to traumatize her as she was always hyper aware that he would leave her eventually. It made her overtly clingy. He had began to wonder if he was doing more damage than good. He knew Olivia battled the very same question. The little girl that she was when she was with only Gerry and Karen was different to who she was when he was around, and that scared him. Gerry and Karen never doubted his love for them, they had no reason to. He was always there for them. When he looked at Isobel all he could see was doubt and fear. That when he left her each time it was because of what she did, didn't do, and or that she wasn't enough. Which was the furthest from the truth, but actions speak louder than words and he knew his actions spoke volumes to her and to her mother.

After everyone had left to go home the phone rang again and admittedly she just wanted to ignore it but knew she was only prolonging the inevitable.

"Hey, I hear congratulations is in order." Olivia greeted.

"I guess it is."

"Fitz, it's a good thing. You've worked for this your whole life. You're supposed to enjoy it. You deserve it, and I am proud of you. I've always been proud of you."

"I don't deserve that but thank you."

"Fitz, don't. Whatever we've been through. However this has ended up, how it ends up, I will never not be proud of you. You deserved to win four years ago, you deserved to win today. You are and have always been the right person for the job."

"Liv are you telling me goodbye?" He asked his voice cracking,

"I don't know Fitz. Maybe I am. I don't know what the right thing to do is anymore. I don't want her to not see you but every time she does she has a meltdown because she knows, every time you're just going to leave her again. It breaks her heart every time and it breaks mine. I don't know what to do. Your life is only about to get even more complicated which means you're just going to see her a lot less. Fitz, how did we think this was ever going to work?"

"Because we wanted it to. I still want to Liv."

"How Fitz, and would we really be doing what's best for her?"

"Are you saying she'd be better of not seeing me at all?"

"In theory of course not. You're her father. She loves you and you love her, but Fitz she doesn't know who you are. To her you're the guy that comes to visit when he can, brings presents, calls to say goodnight. She thinks you're Gerry and Karen's dad. She hasn't had the revelation that you're her Dad too. She loves you, she truly does. She wouldn't be so traumatized at your disappearances if she didn't, but Fitz for the last year since that night, every time you've seen her she's been a mess afterwards. It breaks my heart because I know how much you love her and how much she's going to miss out on you, but really Fitz..."

"I'm sorry Liv, I'm so sorry." He apologized brokenly,

"I know. I know this isn't easy for you either. I do, I just..." She paused,

"Fitz the Ambassador of the United States for France has offered me a job. I think I should take it." Fitz felt his whole world collapse, suddenly it hurt to breathe. It would mean that they would leave, that he wouldn't see her, he wouldn't see Isobel.

"You can still call every day if you want to. You will always have access to her. You are and will always be her Dad, but my staying within the vicinity just for the possibility that you can see her, and she you is no longer enough. For her or for me. Living in France will enable her to run around and just be her without the possibility of some reporter nosing around and finding out about her. She can be free without having to plan around where to go, where we might be spotted, who we may run into, who'll put it together when they look at her and see the president's face staring back at them." Fitz knew that was she was saying was fair, though he had never asked her to, she remained within visiting distance, but the close proximity kept them trapped within places that Huck could scout and control.

"You both deserve to be free Liv. I won't stop you. I'll still call every day, and when I get the chance I'll come to France to see you both." He promised, but they both knew the chances of that were going to be slim.

"When will you go? I'd really like to see you before you leave."

"Few weeks? Fitz, I would never leave without giving you the chance to be with her and say goodbye to her."

"Promise me you'll say goodbye to me." He pleaded.

"I can't have you leave and not know when I'll see you again. I almost didn't survive the last time."

"Fitz,"

"Please Liv, let me have that. Promise me."

"I promise."

For the weeks that followed Olivia was busy getting everything ready for their move. Huck and Abby were coming to France with them, which wasn't at all surprising and admittedly made moving to another country more appealing knowing they were going to be with them.

Karen and Gerry spent every spare minute they had at Liv's. Though they were devastated, they understood. They too were beginning to worry about Isobel, especially Gerry who has always doted on Isobel.

Gerry had picked his college to be within close proximity to Liv and Isobel, which was why he practically lived in Olivia's house, opting go home there than his dorm which Liv didn't mind. It was Gerry who Olivia had first confessed the job offer to and he had encouraged her to go for it knowing that the walls were starting to feel as thought they were closing in on her.

"Hey Liv, I wanted to run something by you." Gerry said carefully. At twenty he had grown to be an amazing young man and she couldn't love him or Karen any more if they were hers. She was so proud of them. Out of all is Fitz's kids it was Teddy she seldom saw as he stuck pretty close to Mellie, even though she was no more interested in him than she was in Gerry or Karen. So most days he was Fitz's shadow, not at all succeeding in winning the affections of his mother unless it was in front of the cameras where she capitalized as much as she could from America's Baby.

"You know that architecture scholarship I applied for?"

"In London?" She confirmed as he nodded,

"Well I got in." Olivia's face lit up proudly as she threw her arms around him,

"Oh my gosh Ger, I am so proud of you. We have to so celebrate!"

"Thanks Liv," he said gratefully. Truth was Karen and his Dad were the only ones who celebrated his successes. His mother merely glossed over them.

"So what did you want to run by me?" She asked almost as an afterthought caught up on the excitement which amused him.

"Well I was hoping you wouldn't mind me coming home to yours on weekends like I do now."

"Of course I wouldn't. I'd love it." She said hugging him again.

"What does your Dad say?"

"That he's proud, and that he's glad that if I'm going to be so far away I'd have you nearby." Liv was touched.

"How's Kare taking it?"

"As expected, but she's off to college next year and all the colleges she's applied to are overseas as you know. So chances are you'd have both of us around."

"Oh I'm glad, your poor Dad though he's going to miss you both so much."

"We would be in college in dorms anyways, besides isn't that what Air Force One is for?"

"I'm not quite sure if that's what they had in mind when they built it but I'm liking your imagination."

On the weekend before they were due to fly out they had a small gathering with the usual suspects. The gladiators, Karen, Gerry and Fitz who managed to sneak away. As expected he and Isobel were inseparable all day. Knowing he would be unable to see them off at the airport Fitz had to say his Goodbyes that evening.

"I love you Princess, and I'll call you every day okay?" He murmured in her ear as she clung to his neck, her whole body was wrapped around him. They had explained to her that she and Liv were moving away, but we would still be her Daddy, and that he will visit when he could. Not much different to the arrangement that they had in place but they explained that the distance was greater.

"I love you too Daddy." Isobel replied giving his neck a tight squeeze before letting Gerry take her. Fitz didn't bother to hide the tears that fell from his eyes. He couldn't help question if it was all worth it. Olivia slipped her hand in his,

"I'll walk you out." Fitz's gaze dropped to their joined hands, how familiar it felt, how at home it still felt. As everyone left the room Fitz pulled Olivia into his arms and hugged her tightly against his body as she moulded involuntarily against him. He cupped her face with one hand as his other arm remained wrapped around her,

"I love you. You will forever own me. I will always belong to only you. My every feeling is controlled by the look on your face and the sound your voice. I'm in love with you. You are the love of my life,"

"And you are the love of my life, but you've never really been mine to have." She replied averting her eyes from his. Fitz leaned his forehead against her,

"Look at me," Olivia took a deep breath and forced herself to look at him,

"I belong to you. You will own my heart forever." He said so softly but so definitively that it left little room to doubt his words. He brought his lips to hers,

"Be happy Livvy. I want you to be happy. You deserve to be happy. Even if its not with me."


	6. Disappointed

As hard as it was to no longer have them close by it was hard not to see the benefits it had on Isobel. She loved and thrived in France.

Having spent almost every summer of her childhood, up to her college days in France it was Olivia's second home. In fact their summer house was where they moved into. She loved France and she had hoped that Bellie would too.

"Mommy, can we go to the park today?" Olivia looked at the time,

"Sure sweetheart, go grab your coat." Olivia had negotiated her hours at work around Isobel. So that she would have the mornings with her and that she would be home in time to make and have dinner with her. Isobel spent her days with Abby and Huck if it wasn't a school day.

"Mommy, there's someone at the door." Isobel said trying to get her mother's attention who was clearly in a trance missing the door bell. Olivia looked at her daughter adoringly cupping her face with her hand,

"Well we should see who's there." She said enthusiastically dropping her lips to her five year old's forehead. Olivia grabbed her hand and led her to the door.

"Hey Munchkin, miss me?" Isobel gasped and looked at her mother happily and back at Karen before launching herself at her older sister flinging her arms around her waist.

"Kare Kare!" She squealed excitedly.

"I've missed you." She confessed looking up at Karen.

"Aww I've missed you too little one." Karen said picking her up in her arms as Isobel wrapped herself around Karen comfortably.

"Hey Liv," Karen greeted giving Liv a kiss hello.

Karen was accepted to several colleges in Europe and chose the one in London so that she and Gerry could share a flat. The Grant kids, all three of them thrived away from the spotlight. Karen was doing great in school and Gerry had finished his scholarship program and was offered an internship with one of the companies he had done work experience in while he was still studying. For the most part no one really knew who they were which was why they loved it there. Though they were both assigned their own security detail, their agents blended into the background and were quite respectful of their privacy. As expected the Grant kids spent their time away from school at Olivia's. They went home for the big holidays and as often as they could to see Fitz who they all missed immensely.

"Forget your key?" She teased,

"Blame Gerry, he borrowed mine the last time he was here because he left his at home."

"No Gerry this weekend?" Olivia asked surprised. Though nothing was ever set on stone, one or both Grant kids would be at the Pope Residence on any given weekend.

"He'll be here later this afternoon. I had no classes so I thought I'd rock on over a little earlier to have some Kare and Belle time." Isobel's face lit up.

"Yes please!" She said tightening her grip around her sister's neck.

"Well in that case why don't I head to work so I can finish earlier. So Kare since you're on Bellie duty how about I cook you your favourite for dinner tonight?" Karen beamed. Though she and Gerry cooked well enough to fend for themselves, they loved Olivia's home cooked meals.

"Lasagne?"

"Done. You two have fun. You have all the numbers if you need me for anything. The fridge and pantry are fully stocked for you guys. Huck is out back at his place working. Abby has already left to go to work. The spare keys are in the top drawer of the kitchen if you two want to venture out. Kare, just let Huck know he doesn't need to watch Bellie. Love you both." She said giving them both a kiss goodbye.

"Love you too." They chimed in unison closing the door behind Olivia.

"So munchkin, what do you want to do?"

"Mommy was going to take me to the park."

"Shall we go to the park then?" Karen asked as Isobel nodded her head enthusiastically. Just before they could leave the phone began to ring,

"Hello," Karen answered grabbing the phone from where it hung?

"It must be the weekend already if my other children are answering the phone in France?"

"Hey Daddy! Yah I just got here. Ger won't be here till tonight though. You want Bellie?"

"Yes please." Karen handed the phone to Isobel,

"It's Daddy Munchkin,"

"Hi Daddy." Isobel greeted cheerfully.

"Hi Princess. What are you up to today?" He asked. Isobel began to tell him about their plans for the day. How they were going to the park, how Mommy was making Karen's favourite dinner.

"Has Mommy gone to work already?"

"Yeah so she can come home early. You want Mommy to call you later?"

"Sure sweet pea. I miss you little one."

"I miss you too Daddy. When are you going to come and visit?" Truth was he had only seen Isobel in the flesh once since they left for France. The last time he saw her she was still so little which she clearly no longer was.

"Soon honey." He promised.

"Okay," Isobel answered with a shrug. He hated that she had learned to take his words as a grain of salt. To never get her hopes up because his promises to visit always came up empty.

Since their move Olivia had resumed to the barest minimum form of communication with him. She spoke to him when he caught her off guard and really only to talk about Bellie. These days Isobel answered her own phone so there was never a need for anyone to answer on her behalf.

Olivia had just arrived at work when her phone pinged alerting her that she had received an email. With a huge sigh she sat down and leaned back on her chair as she began to read,

"Hey Stranger, so it's been months since we've talked. How are you? I spoke to Bellie today, she's sounding so grown up."

"That's what happens after long periods of time," she retorted to the email, well aware that no one else could hear her

"I can't believe it's been two years. She's great Liv. I wish I had more to do with that."

"No one ever got in your way of your trying." Olivia grumbled beneath her breath. President or not he fell short of his responsibilities, to his daughter and to her, even as a so called friend. Sure he called, sent presents, but the fact that he saw Isobel once in two years was inexcusable. Fitz knew that. He knew that was one of the reasons why Olivia had began to pull away was because she was disappointed in him. She had expected better from him, and she should expect as much as she did. She deserved that and more.

"Liv, I know you're mad at me. You have every right to be. I'm sorry! I truly am. No words can ever make it better and I know that. Cy's played around with my schedule so I have a few days. I'd love to spend that time with Bellie, with you. Please Liv." Olivia groaned in frustration.

"Sure as long as its convenient for you." Olivia took a deep breath and dialed a number she hadn't used in years.

"Livvy," he answered in one ring. Her heart momentarily stopped at the sound of his voice. After so long it still had such a profound effect on her. Despite the time apart, and the distance between them his voice was like a beacon to her soul. It comforted and annoyed her.

"Yeah," Fitz closed his eyes at the sound of her voice. How he missed her.

"Hey,"

"I got your email."

"I figured," he answered knowing she would never have called him otherwise.

"Sort out your days with Cyrus and let me know when it's concrete. I would really rather wait till you're on your way before I tell her."

"That's fair." He agreed.

"Liv,"

"I'm at work Mr President and I really don't want to talk to you right now. I am so angry at you that I have no words."

"And you have every right to be angry."

"You're damn right I do and I don't need your permission for that. Come, see Isobel. Spend time with her, get to know her, realise what you walked away from. Don't expect me to be there. I'm not part of some package. It's not two for the price of one. Have Cyrus call Huck to confirm your arrival dates. Goodbye Mr President." Fitz stared at the phone long after she had hung up. He knew he was going to have a tough few days with the Pope's, but it was time long overdue. Olivia could have stopped taking his calls a long time ago, but she didn't. She kept the lines open so he could talk to his daughter every day, which was something he didn't deserve.

Olivia arrived to an empty house. A note from Karen said that Gerry had arrived and that they had taken Isobel to a movie but will be back in time for dinner. Even though Gerry and Karen weren't hers, most days she felt like she had three kids. Even when Karen and Gerry were at school, they checked in every day which meant a lot to Olivia knowing that she couldn't love them more if they had come from her as Isobel did.

Olivia welcomed the quiet time to deal with her thoughts. She knew that she wouldn't be able to hide from him the whole time he was visiting. She was going to give it her best to avoid him but she knew they'd have to talk eventually.

"Hey Mom we're home." Gerry called out from the door as they entered making her smile.

"Ah my three little angels. How was the movie?" She replied as she hugged them all hello.

"It was alright for G-rated and animated." Gerry answered giving the of Olivia's head a kiss. At twenty one he towered over her.

"You don't fool me, my money is on the fact that you enjoyed it more than these two put together." Gerry grinned as the other nodded their heads vehemently.

"You got me. It smells amazing in here."

"Dinners almost ready. Why don't you three wash up and we can eat."

"Great! I'm starving!"

"You're always starving Ger!" Isobel pointed out.

"Is that right?" He asked with a teasing glint in his eyes, before Isobel could run he had scooped her up and thrown her over his shoulder carrying her as though he were a fireman making her squeal with delight. Leaving an extremely amused Olivia and Karen behind in the kitchen.

"Oh Dad called earlier to talk to Bellie, I think he was looking to talk to you too."

"Yeah I spoke to him. He's got a few days off and he wanted to know if he could spend it with Bellie."

"Good while she can still put the word Dad to his face." Olivia looked at Karen surprised. Daddy's little girl never spoke ill of the great Fitzgerald Grant.

"What Liv? I love my Dad. Worship the ground he walks on but I'm not blind to the fact that he's short changing my little sister." Olivia smiled and dropped a kiss on Karen's head.

"Bellie is very lucky to have you and Ger as siblings. Thank you for always looking out and after her. It means a lot to both of us."

"You're family. Our family. We're here more than our home. We think of this as our home. Gosh Liv, you have a room for us in every home you've had since we met you. You've been more like a Mom to us than Mom. Gerry and I actually m joke around that Mom and Dad should be sending you child support for both of us." Olivia chuckled,

"I wouldn't have it any other way Kiddo."

"And we know that without a shadow of doubt. We've always known that. So thank you."

"You're welcome Sweetheart."


	7. Wait for me

**Your review have been amazing to read. I love that you're enjoying this story and how invested you are in my version of Liv. Thank you! Your feedback means so much! Please enjoy this chapter!**

As much as Olivia didn't want to see Fitz she knew she had to be there when Isobel saw him for the first time. Though she was well prepared for one day seeng her Dad again she knew that when the time came she would probably bolt. Like mother like daughter in many ways. Abby had offered to take the day off to be there for moral support but Olivia gratefully declined knowing she'd have to face him eventually. Gerry and Karen had rearranged their timetable to be there knowing that Isobel would be more at ease with their Dad if they were there to buffer.

"Incoming..." Gerry announced as the gates of Olivia's property opened. Olivia slid off breakfast table stool and turned to Isobel.

"You ready sweetheart?" She asked brushing the hair away from her forehead.

"Yes Mommy," Isobel replied biting her lower lip which was a tell tale sign that she was nervous.

"Hey you have nothing to worry about. Your Daddy loves you so very much and Mommy is right here. So are Karen and Gerry. Don't be nervous." Isobel nodded and hugged Olivia tightly.

"Come on monkey face." Gerry said lifting her up in his arms. Olivia smiled as the two of them as they exchanged one of there infamous looks. Olivia stood on the tip of her toes and kissed Gerry on the cheek, she knew how much her daughter relied on Gerry and often took his looks as queues. They had the ability to calm her in an instant.

"Hi sweetheart." Fitz greeted as he stood by the doorway.

"Daddy," Fitz crossed the room and held his arms out for Isobel who looked at Gerry first who nodded encouragingly before releasing her into their father's arms. The moment she was in his arms tears began to slide down his cheeks, his eyes focused on Olivia who was barely keeping it together.

"Hey cupcake, why don't you show Daddy your room and give him a tour of our house." Olivia suggested.

"That sounds like fun." Fitz said standing to his feet not letting go of Isobel. Olivia predicted that father and daughter were going to be inseparable for the duration of his visit. She didn't even want to think of what that goodbye was going to be like. Fitz walked over to Olivia,

"Hey," he said softly as he stood in front of her. Isobel whose head lay on his shoulder gave her Mom a small smile, her eyes told her Olivia that she was still sussing Fitz out but regardless of that she knew he was her Daddy and she loved him.

"Livvy," was all he could muster as he tried to meet her gaze. Fitz stepped into her personal space and kissed her forehead.

"Why don't you give me that tour now princess?" Fitz said as his voice cracked with emotion. Isobel nodded and pointed towards the stairs. Karen went to join them in the tour and once they were out of sight Olivia sunk into the nearest chair quietly gasping for air. Wordlessly Gerry grabbed her puffer from the top kitchen drawer and handed it to her placing a hand on her shoulder. Once her breathing had calmed he gave her a bottle of water.

"Thank you, I might go grab some air." Gerry nodded.

"Go ahead Liv. Karen and I will hold the fort."

Olivia for all the strength she portrayed had one weakness and that was Fitzgerald Grant. She knew it would be hard to see him again. It was one thing to love the man that consumes you so wholeheartedly from afar and it was another to have him stand in your personal space breathing the same air as you. To realise that despite the time you've spent apart, the anger and resentment you felt, and the disappointment that crushed you, the love you felt was stronger than ever. His mere presence still took her breath away and as much as she wished it didn't her heart ached for him. There was no doubt that after everything, she was still in love with him.

Olivia walked along the beach till she reached the dunes, which was her favourite thinking spot, and had been since she was little when they started spending their summers in France, in their house by the beach. She spent countless hours sitting there daydreaming or writing, thinking.

She was enjoying the sun, her eyes closed and mind temporarily cleared when she felt his presence. Without hearing or seeing him, she felt him. She knew that when she opened her eyes he would be there, and when she finally did, there he was.

"Hey Liv,"

"Hey, she let you out of her sight?" She asked in disbelief.

"She, Gerry and Karen are making Breakfast."

"Ahhh, they're actually quite good in the kitchen." Olivia informed him.

"May I?" He asked gesturing to the space beside her.

"Sure." She replied with a shrug. They sat side by side in a somewhat comfortable silence for a few minutes before Fitz spoke again,

"I know I screwed up with Bellie. I should have been around more." Olivia let out a deep sigh.

"Not to say I'm not mad at you, but I believe I was the one who moved her to another country making that theory a little harder to execute. So you're not solely to blame. Truth was I knew I couldn't be around you and remain to function. It hurt too much to see your life plastered all over my newspaper, all over my TV, seeing what you were doing with your family and feeling cheated that Bellie and I don't have that. Hard as I tried not to be, I ended up being Anna." Fitz turned his head to look at her.

"So I bolted. It was the easiest option. New beginning, new life, respectable distance. Out of sight, out of mind. Or so the theory promised, but it wasn't that simple. I thought I could outrun my feelings for you, that I would just be able to put some distance between us and I could just forget. But I don't know if you've noticed but our daughter is a spitting image of you. Making that whole forgetting thing a little difficult."

"I'm sorry Liv. For the record you are not Anna. Certainly not to me."

"Really Fitz?" She asked as she counted just how many Christmases and birthdays they never got to celebrate together.

"I'm glad we came here. I have loved watching Bellie come out of her shell and just be free like a normal kid. Not having to worry of someone is going to take her picture and connect the dots. My one regret is that I took her away from you and that you didn't get to be a part of that, for that I'm sorry, but it's hard to regret that decision when I see how much she's grown and how carefree she is."

"I get it Liv, why you wanted to take her away. I do. I always have." He promised.

"Fitz..."

"Wait for me Liv..." He said cutting her off,

"What?" She asked bewildered.

"I'm divorcing Mellie. Please wait for me. I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Wait for me." He pleaded. Olivia tried to get her mind around what he just said,

"You're what?"

"I'm divorcing Mellie. I filed right after reelection and she's been fighting it ever since. The reason why I've stayed away is because I didn't want Mellie to get to you and to Isobel. As long as she didn't know where you were she couldn't use you or Isobel for her smear campaign. She had to see that you were out of my life so I had to commit to it. I'm sorry Liv, for hurting you and Isobel. I just didn't want her to destroy what we worked to hard for to ensure that Bellie never falls victims to the media scrutiny."

"Whoa!" She uttered in shock,

"Say you'll wait for me Liv."

"Fitz...I, it's not that simple..." She protested.

"It is. Do you love me? Do you want to be with me?"

"Really Fitz? it's that simple?"

"It could be Liv, can't you see it?"


	8. Time

Fitz spent every waking moment with Isobel. It didn't take long for them to be inseparable and Olivia loved seeing them together. She tried by not to think about having to say goodbye to him. It frightened her just how easily he had slipped into their every day lives as though he had always been there. He had asked her to dwait for him and she couldn't give him an answer, for as much as she wanted to tell him she would, there were still so many things unsettled. He had asked her for one night before he left to be together, just them for one night so that they could talk once and for all. Abby, Huck, Gerry, Karen with their security detail had offered to take Isobel out for the night to do something fun with her.

When Olivia had come home from work it was eerily quiet. For a house that supposedly on housed Abby, Isobel and herself there was almost always a couple of extras in there without fail. Whether it be the older Grant kids or Harrison and Quinn who visited frequently. The aroma that was wafting through the house was the tell tale sign that someone was cooking. When she finally reached the kitchen she saw Fitz bent over the oven checking on his roast. Looking at him in his jeans, shirt with a sweater over it, he looked so at home and comfortable. Truth was he was comfortable the moment he walked in. He slid into their lives so effortlessly that if she closed her eyes and blocked everything else out, she could almost pretend that he had always been there.

"Hey, you look like you've been busy?" She greeted finally telling herself to snap out of it. Fitz turned and smiled at her. As he approached her to say hello he caught the sadness in her eyes,

"Hey, hey." He said soothingly wrapping his arms around her and she buried her face into his chest.

"I don't want to miss you anymore. It feels like that's all I've done from the moment we met. I finally feel like I've gained some ground and here you are swooping in only to swoop out again." She said pulling out of his embrace.

"Fitz so much time has passed. So much has changed. I've changed. The possibility of us isn't enough anymore."

"Liv, the divorce is almost final and then I'll be free. This isn't theoretical anymore."

"Fitz, you're the president you will never be free." She said with a sigh frustrated that he thought it was all so simple.

"You and I both know that even if that divorce is finalized while you are in office you have to remain to at least look married. Mellie would demand it if she hasn't already. Otherwise she will go nuclear. She will expose us, she'll expose Belle. Then she'll run for office and she'll win, everything we did, everything we sacrificed, it'll be for nothing. She still wins." Fitz walked over to her and placed a hand on her cheek.

"I never for a moment thought it would be easy Liv, but don't you want to give us a chance?"

"Honestly, I don't know."

"You don't trust me," he said softly at it sunk in.

"I know you love Belle and that you would do anything for her."

"But you don't believe I love you?" He asked in disbelief.

"I know you love me, but history tells me that's never been enough Fitz, and I can't bring myself to hope that it finally will be."

"Do you love me?" He asked as his voice cracked, Olivia looked at him and brushed his hair away from his forehead before placing her hand on his cheek just as he had with her moments before,

"Of course I do. I always have, and I suspect I always will. But loving each other was never our problem Fitz. It was the fact that it was always bad timing. There is something always more important. You can't just swoop in after two years of almost nothing, tell me you're divorcing your wife and everything just works. There's so much at stake. We have Isobel, Gerry and Karen to think of too." Olivia paused and dropped her hands from his face.

"I'm not saying No Fitz and I'm not saying yes. You and I both know its not that simple and it's not meant to be. I need you to give me time to get used to the information. For us to just be and see where that takes us without the pressure of being endgame just because."

"We can do that Liv. We'll make this work. I promise."

With all the heavy talking out of the way they were able to enjoy dinner and just catch up. It was a good reminder for the both of them that all passions aside, they were friends first and foremost. They got each other in ways no else ever did.

"So what do you want to do after you're done?" She asked as she sipped her wine. They had moved to the sitting room after they had cleaned up after dinner.

"Honestly Liv, I just want to spend time with the kids. It feels like I've missed out on so much of their life."

"I'm sure they'd love that. What happens to Teddy?" She asked after his youngest from Mellie.

"I've filed for full custody. She barely has any patience for him now. It's only when the cameras are on that switches on that doting mother act."

"Is he okay? Karen and Gerry always had each other,"

"As ok as a kid gets with two absent parents."

"Fitz you're anything but absent. I'm sure Teddy knows just Gerry and Karen always did that you're their Dad first and President second."

"Like Bellie does?" He said somewhat bitterly to himself.

"Hey, Bellie knows you love her. You make an effort to talk to her every day, not all fathers who don't live with their kids have that. She's big enough to know that circumstances are different and she's lucky, she's had Gerry and Karen within arms reach whenever she wants them."

"They certainly have become the three Muskeeters haven't they?"

"They sure have. The things they get up to. I feel a little bad that they spend so much of their spare time playing with their little sister instead of doing what normal kids their age are doing. Like dating and hanging out with friends, but they seem to come home almost every weekend just to hang here and chill. I love it, don't get me wrong. I love those two like crazy. I just don't want them to think they have to take care of us. Especially Gerry."

"Liv, those kids love being here. Your home, wherever it has been has been more their home that any home Mellie and I have ever provided for them. You give them stability and unconditional love, something that has been lost in translation with Millicent Grant. Thank you for that."

"You never have to thank me for that. If anything, thank you for making a way to make it easier for them to be here. I know with Mellie that couldn't have been easy."

"You give me way too much credit, those two fought for it. I believe Karen went as far as saying that if Mellie ever wanted her to endure another mother daughter high tea she'll have to buck up."

"She's a fireball that one." Olivia stated amused,

"That she is, thanks to you. You realise that the most important lessons my children ever learnt was from you. About character, about family, about standing up for what thy believe in, unconditional love, that was all from being with you."

"Fitz, those kids know about unconditional love because of you. You're the original three Muskeeters and they know how lucky they are to have you. Don't belittle that." Fitz threw his head back and looked up at the ceiling,

"I like this. I like that we talk. I like that its so laid back. No pretenses. It's always just been Liv and Fitz instead of the whole world watching us."

"It is nice. I've almost forgotten how good of friends we've always been effortlessly."

"I'm sorry I haven't been a very good friend lately Livvie."

"Me too Fitz."


	9. Leap

"Hello," Olivia said breathlessly as she grabbed her phone.

"Hey beautiful."

"This better be a secure line Fitzgerald." She replied with a grin.

"Must we always be so cautious?" He teased. Olivia rolled her eyes. Ever since his visit he had made her promise to take his calls.

"How are you? Should you not be asleep by now?" She asked as she sat down on the couch looking at the time. Normally he called earlier,

"I felt a little bad that I always called you at the break of dawn."

"I don't mind. I'd be awake a half hour later anyway. How was your day?"

"The usual, dinner with the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, same o same o." He answered casually.

"Name dropper," she replied with an eye roll receiving a chuckle from Fitz.

"How are the offsprings?"

"They're good. Karen and Gerry arrived late last night."

"What time are you guys heading to Disneyland?"

"We're aiming to leave here by 9, we have a three day pass and staying there so we're kind of just taking our time."

"I'm so jealous." He had been wanting to go to Disneyland Paris for years.

"I know but we'll go again when you're no longer, you know,"

"The leader of the free world," he finished.

"Again with the name and position dropping."

"I would rather be in Disneyland with the people I love most in the world." He said softy.

"I know, but not long to go," she said sensing the sadness creeping in.

"Three hundred and sixty seven days to go."

"You sound like Bellie." Olivia pointed out amused.

"You realise if you're not here in three hundred and sixty seven days she will hunt you down." Fitz laughed,

"I am we'll aware that I dug myself that hole when I gave her a figure."

"Yep, there is a calendar that she crosses out every day."

"God I miss her. I miss you. I miss all of you."

"We miss you too."

"Liv,"

"Yeah,"

"I miss you," he repeated his voice cracking.

"I miss you too. Want to tell me what's wrong? Might make you feel better." Knowing it was more than just about missing them.

"Rough day that's all," he answered nonchalantly which she saw right through him.

"Work?"

"Mellie,"

"Ahh, what now?"

"You were right,"

"She's demanding you publicly stay married during your term?" She threw in,

"Yup." he answered bitterly.

"We both knew it was a highly likely move on her part." She said trying to soothe him,

"I just want to be free Liv. Of Mellie, of all the expectations. I just want to be with my kids. I want to be with you. Don't you want that too?"

"Fitz, it was never as simple as what I wanted. What you wanted. If it was, it would have been so long ago."

"Sorry Liv. I'm just frustrated. If it wasn't for Teddy. I'd go nuts in here."

"I know, but not long to go. Then you can camp out in the kids room for as long as you want. I'm sure Bellie would refuse to part from you for at least a week anyway."

"Counting down the days. I hate that I've missed so much of her life already." Fitz always felt a disservice to Bellie knowing that for each of his children with the exception of her, he had tucked into bed almost every night from baby to age five.

"When you're done you have the rest of your life to make it up to her, and she'd make you work for it too." She added with a smile. Fitz chuckled knowing she was right.

They talked for a little while longer till he let her go knowing she needed to rouse the kids so they could get ready for their trip to Disneyland Paris. Huck, Abby, along with Harrison and Quinn who were visiting were coming with them. In the interest of safety for the older Grant kids, they were driving there in an incredibly large SUV instead of taking public transport. Their security detail following them close behind, all the way to Disneyland.

Truth was with the limited exposure the older Grant kids had with the media they were able to blend in a little better with the general public. Unlike Teddy whose face was plastered all over magazines, newspapers and blogs from the moment he was born. His whole existence was wrapped around being America's Baby. Fitz couldn't wait to get him out of the spotlight. For someone so young he had learned how carry himself in front of the cameras and his childhood had been consumed by expectations that not only his parents had of him like normal children, but also the expectation of the world. Out of all his kids, he was the most like Mellie without the malice. Fitz knew that as much as Gerry and Karen loved Teddy, their relationship was not the same as the one they had with Bellie. They saw her more, and though they were his kids, from the moment they had met Liv, they fell under her care and she took care of them as her own. In that way Fitz knew that as guilty as he felt for seldom being around for Bellie, she was luckier than Teddy. Her mother's love enabled her to be free. By Liv choosing to move to Paris, Bellie was able to have a normal childhood.

Olivia drove while Gerry rode shot gun. Gerry could tell that she was preoccupied. They had all been so excited about their trip to Disneyland, Liv especially that he immediately sensed that something had shifted when her excitement was somewhat diminished.

"Everything okay Liv?" He asked. Olivia gave him a quick glance and smiled.

"Yeah kid. Just a little worried about your Dad. He called this morning and I think he's feeling a little left out that we're taking this trip without him.

"And..." He prompted,

"I think he's lonely Ger. I think without Teddy he wouldn't know what to do with himself." Gerry felt a little guilty. He knew he hardly ever went home anymore because the White House had never felt like his home while Liv's house wherever it was has always been home.

"Karen and I were thinking of going home for Thanksgiving in a couple of weeks."

"He'd love that. I think he misses being your third Muskeeter."

"Admittedly we avoid going home to avoid Mom's theatrics and obviously because we love being with you guys," he added. Liv laughed,

"No disclaimer necessary Ger." Gerry looked at her sheepishly.

"Dad mentioned that Mom is insisting to remain publicly married till the end of his term."

"I think we all knew that she would Ger."

"I don't understand her."

"And you don't need to. Whether or not you agree or disagree with her decisions, she's still your Mom Ger and she loves you guys."

"Why do you always defend her? After everything she did, after all the manipulation?"

"Because your Dad and I did wrong by her. We may have loved each other but he was never mine to take and I took him. That aside, in the end I was the one who benefitted. In the last six years I've had you and Karen with me. She missed out on that." It made sense to Gerry but what Liv failed to see from his point of view was that she had them because she's always wanted them.

"I still think you give her too much credit but I get it."

"It's nothing because I got the better end of the deal. Enough about me, tell me more about Amy." Immediately a grin crossed his face,

"She's a graphic designer, she's incredibly smart, pretty in a non intimidating way. She has this amazing laugh, I just. I really like her Liv. For the first time someone sees me as Gerry and not Gerry the son of the president."

"Then I already think she's great. You should bring her the next time you come. I'd like to meet her. I can be the pre-parent meet."

"I really want you to meet her. I really want her to meet you and Bellie since she hears so much about you guys. I was thinking of introducing her to Bellie first though. Sort of one on one. Maybe we could pick her up from school?" Olivia smiled,

"Worried your six year old little sister won't like your girlfriend?" She asked only half teasing knowing that was probably the case. Gerry rolled his eyes,

"Liv, she not my girlfriend yet and yes a little."

"Ger, whoever comes into your life she'll be a little weary of. You've spoiled her, she's never had to share you with anyone, but your astute little sister loves you and as long she knows you're happy and that Amy is treating you well, she'll be on board. She's your biggest fan for goodness sake."

"I know. I just don't want her to think that I would not be around just because someone new is in my life."

"Ger, I don't think I've ever thanked you for filling the void of your Dad for her. Don't think I don't know that not appreciate it, I do, but you're he big brother. It's not your job. It's time you live your life kiddo. Take chances and run with it. You love this girl I know you do. I see it in your face when you talk about her, go for it! Some love stories do come true." She said pausing so he would get her point,

"Don't be afraid of it. Leap!"

"Thank you. Hey Liv,"

"Yeah,"

"When it's your turn, promise me you'll leap too?"

"Ger,"

"It might not have been in the time frame you wanted but your love is still out there for you to claim. It always has been and always will be. You are what keeps him going. The thought that one day you'll finally get that chance. Why do you think he's so restless right now? It's because it's finally within his reach and all he wants is to finally grab it and never let go."


	10. Questions asked

Fitz was so happy to have his oldest two home for Thanksgiving. He knew that the older they got the more they limited their exposure to Mellie and her manipulations. They opted to meet him wherever it was when he travelled or when she was away for one thing or another. It wasn't at all lost on him that Olivia would have had a hand in their decision to come home for Thanksgiving. The last couple of years they had opted for Thanksgiving with Olivia, Bellie and the rest of the gladiators, coming home for Christmas and New Year. He suspected that Gerry would more than likely stay in Europe for the holidays now that he was seeing a girl he seemed to be extremely smitten about. Fitz mourned for another holiday he wasn't able to spend with Olivia and Bellie. Six years and he had yet to spend Christmas morning with Bellie.

Just before they say down to dinner Gerry and Karen had said they had a surprise for him and led him to his office in the residence. His face lit up to see Bellie sitting on his chair, looking up from her colouring book as they entered.

"Happy Thanksgiving Daddy!"

"Come here you little monkey," he said opening his arms out for her. Bellie grinned and hopped off his chair to run into his embrace.

"I've missed you Daddy." She murmured as she buried her face into his chest.

"I've missed you little one. So much." Fitz stood to his feet not letting her go while she wrapped her legs around his middle resting her head on his shoulder.

"How did you get here?"

"Hucky brought me, he's going to come and get me later."

"Where's Mommy?"

"She's with Uncle Harrison, Aunt Abby, Aunt Quinn and Hucky having thanksgiving with Uncle Stephen and Aunt Georgia." Fitz looked to Gerry and Karen,

"She's here?"

"She thought you could use having all your kids in one place for Thanksgiving so she spoke to Uncle Cyrus to make sure they were going to be here as they are every year and he agreed that you could use it and promised to look out for Bellie." He understood only too well what that meant. She wanted to make sure that Mellie didn't do any damage to their child. He knew what Olivia had risked to make sure he had his daughter for the day and it meant the world to him.

The official First Family portrait was taken that morning therefore the rest of the day was press free day giving him the opportunity to spend time with all four kids without watchful eyes. It had been awhile since Teddy and Bellie were in the same room and Fitz was a little weary of how they would take to each other. Understandably Bellie was a little hesitant especially around Mellie, but confident in the love of her older brother and sister, as well as Fitz she held herself remarkably well despite Mellie's intimidating gaze.

Cyrus having only met her a few times was in awe of her. Fascinated at the fact that she literally was a mini Olivia in almost every sense. He understood why Fitz was so incredibly enamored with his youngest daughter.

"I'm a political Uncle Cyrus," she answered seriously when he asked her about her political affiliation earning an amused chuckle from almost all the adults at the table,

"Cy, she's six." James reminded him.

"She's also Olivia Pope's daughter," Cyrus said somewhat proudly.

"I'd like to think she's my daughter too Cy," Fitz said amused as everyone laughed heartily.

"Of course Mr President," Cyrus replied somewhat apologetically.

After dinner all four Grant kids were engaged in a healthy competition of Cranium against Cyrus, James and Fitz. Mellie had long since retired for the night not up for an evening playing board games. Fitz loved seeing his kids work together. He watched as Bellie looked out for Teddy as if she were the older one. She was always putting his needs before her own. When she saw him watching their Dad drape and arm around her she subtly moved next to Cyrus not wanting to make him jealous. Distinctly making it clear that it wasn't a competition between them. She made the effort to follow him around and let him show her the ropes of the White House Residence. When Cyrus and James got up to leave so did Bellie.

"Daddy Uncle Cyrus and Uncle James are going to drop me off to mommy so they can see her too." Fitz looked at Cyrus who nodded.

"I called her just after dinner and offered," Fitz nodded and picked her up and hugged her.

"Bye Baby, I'm so glad you were here for Thanksgiving. Best thanksgiving ever."

"Bye Daddy." She said giving him a squeeze before placing a kiss on his cheek. He reluctantly released her so she could give her siblings a hug goodbye. Without any reservation she hugged Teddy tightly,

"Bye Teddy. I hope I see you soon." Taken aback by her uninhabited affection he hugged her back. He was used to hugs from his Dad, and his other siblings, but that was it, anyone outside that seemed surprising to him.

Karen drew her little sister into a hug,

"Bye munchkin. I will no doubt see you soon. Love you!"

"Love you too Kare Kare." Gerry scooped her up into his arms and over his shoulder as she squealed,

"I'll walk them out and set up he car seat." Fitz nodded,

"Thanks Ger."

Olivia opened the door to Harrison's place where they were all gathered for Thanksgiving. Bellie greeted her by flinging her arms around her middle hugging her tightly. Unprepared for impact Olivia almost lost balance,

"I've missed you too." She said with a laugh hugging her daughter tightly. Olivia cupped her chin with her palm and kissed her forehead.

"Did you have fun at Daddy's?" She asked while Bellie nodded.

"Uncle Stephen and Aunt Georgia still here?" She asked hopefully.

"Of course. They didn't want to leave without saying goodbye to you." Bellie turned to Cyrus and James,

"Thank you for taking me home Uncle Cyrus and Uncle James." She said politely giving them a brief hug before running inside in search of her beloved godparents.

"Come on in you guys. It's good to see you." Olivia said ushering them in.

"You look good Kid. Europe truly agrees with you." Cy commented kissing her cheek hello.

"Funny, peace and quiet does bring that natural glow," she answered jokingly. Cyrus and James stayed only long enough for a cup of coffee and headed home. Olivia let Bellie stay up later than her bedtime so she could spend a portion of Thanksgiving with the rest of their family. When Olivia saw that she was beginning to fade she picked her up to get her ready for bed. After giving her a quick bath and changing her into her pj's Olivia set her up in the guest room they were sharing.

"Mommy,"

"Yes sweetheart."

"I'm glad you're my Mommy,"

"We'll I'm glad I'm your Mommy too. You know why?"

"Why?" She asked genuinely curious,

"Because I love you to the moon and back again."

"I love you too. Mommy?"

"Yeah baby,"

"Don't all Mommies love their babies up to the moon and back like you do?" She asked. Olivia's heart dropped, in only a few short hours her daughter learned the sad lesson that not all Mommies were the same, that they didn't all love the same way.

"Not all Mommies love the same way, but it doesn't mean they don't love just as much." Was the best answer she could come up with.

"I'm glad Ger and Kare Kare have you." Bellie said solemnly,

"Why sweetheart?"

"Because you love them like you love me."

"I do love them very much." Olivia agreed,

"I don't know if their Mommy loves them as much as you do?" Bellie confessed as her eyes began to fill with tears.

"Hey, hey come here sweet girl." Olivia said gathering her in her arms and holding her close,

"She just loves them differently baby, I'm sure Miss Mellie loves them too." Olivia said trying to reassure her daughter.

"Mommy she doesn't hug Teddy at all, and she doesn't talk to him nice, or to Ger or Kare Kare or even Daddy." Bellie was so upset by what she witnessed that she clung to her mother as she told her about her evening only justifying Olivia's decision to not expose her daughter to the White House but most of all to Mellie.

Bellie may have grown up without the luxuries that the other Grant children did, nor did she grow up with her Dad within easy reach but the one thing she was always surrounded with, was love and she never ever had to question whether she was loved. Olivia poured her whole heart and soul to her daughter and surrounded her with a family who would do anything for her. Huck was her best friend in the whole wide world and funnily enough she was his. While Huck looked scary to the blind eye, all Bellie saw was his love for her and for her mother, that he would do anything for either of them. She had grown up with Abby as a second Mom who took care of her. Up until they moved to Paris and even after she saw Harrison and Quinn often and when they weren't physically around she spoke to them daily. They were still a part of her every day life. Isobel Grace Pope lacked for nothing least of all Love. At six years old, in a span of a few hours she learned how lucky she was and realised that not everyone had what she did.

When Bellie finally fell asleep she joined the others back at dinner table while they worked on another bottle of wine. Judging by the row of empty bottles that they were accumulating, everyone was staying the night. She and Bellie had a car coming for them in the morning to take them to the airport as she had to return the work the day after. Huck and Abby were going to stick around for a couple of more days before flying back to Paris.

Her talk with Bellie upset her more than she cared to admit and she was still processing just which part upset her the most. She knew Fitz would call her and had switched her phone off after putting Bellie to bed knowing that she couldn't talk to him till she cleared her head. For now she was going to feign ignorance and deal with him later.

"Hey Ger I'm trying to call Liv and it goes straight to her voicemail." Fitz said as he stood by his son's door.

"Her battery might have died for the night, or it's in the other room. Chances are they're all still sitting around the dinner table up to their however many bottles of wine talking. Those things last all night sometimes." Gerry answered knowingly being privy to many of such gatherings.

"She's normally not attached to her phone if she knows where Bellie is and we're all accounted for. She knows we're with you and those closest to her would be at dinner."

"Makes sense. I'll try her tomorrow. Thanks Ger."

"No worries Dad."

"Hey Ger, how do you think Bellie went today?"

"I think she did pretty well for her first time in the presence of she who must not be named."

"Fitzgerald Aidan Grant" Fitz admonished,

"Sorry! Just kidding, you have to admit she's pretty scary Dad."

"She's still your mother."

"Fine! Bellie's okay. I think she learned today that not every Mom is like Liv,"

"Why do you say that?"

"Because when she hugged me goodbye she whispered that she was glad that I was her brother and Karen was her sister so that we had Liv as our Mom too. That's she wished she saw Teddy more so that he would have Liv too. Kid has a heart of gold."

"Just like she mother," Fitz replied dropping a quick kiss on top of his son's head before checking in on the rest of his children.

Liv didn't turn her phone back on till she and Bellie were back in Paris. She predicted that by the time she turned it on there's be multiple messages waiting for her and she was right.

"Hey Baby, go call your Dad and let him know you got home okay. Mommy's just going to jump in the shower." Bellie nodded

"Hi Daddy we're home." She heard her daughter greet him from the other side of her bathroom door.

"Already?" He asked surprised thinking they would be around for at least a couple of days and that he would be able to see them before they flew back.

"Mommy has to work tomorrow."

"Where is Mommy sweetheart?" He asked,

"She's in the shower Daddy."

"Will you get Mommy to call me as soon as she's done little one."

"Okay. Daddy can I say hi to Teddy?"

"Oh sweetheart it's still pretty early here so he's still sleeping but how about we call you again after breakfast in a couple of hours?"

"Sure Daddy," Bellie spoke to her Dad for a little while longer but was done by the time Olivia emerged from her bathroom.

"Daddy said you have to call him as soon as you're out," Bellie said with a yawn.

"Why don't you jump in and have a quick shower and you can nap for a bit when you're done."

"Okay," she answered handing her phone to her mother before heading straight to the bathroom. Olivia waited till Bellie was asleep next to her on her bed before she turned her phone on.

"Since when does the great Olivia Pope turn her phone off?" He greeted playfully.

"It's one of life's little miracles what can I say? Like the Grand Canyon." Fitz laughed sounding happier than she had heard him sound in weeks.

"You sound better,"

"I am, thank you."

"You don't have to thank me, they're your kids."

"I am more than a little upset you came and went without my seeing you."

"There honestly wasn't any time. We literally flew in the night before Thanksgiving and flew out this morning. I just wanted you to see her. I figured you needed a day to have all your kids under the one roof, if only for a few hours."

"My personal fixer." He murmured.

"How're your eldest kids fairing?" She asked,

"Like you haven't been inundated with text updates." Olivia laughed,

"My phone has been off," she reminded him amused

"And how many messages did you receive when you finally turned it on?" When his question was met with silence he chuckled,

"My point exactly. To answer what may as well be a rhetorical question, they're doing the best they can. They've mostly been showering Teddy with all their love and attention. I think they feel a little guilty they've always had each other and Teddy only really has me."

"You're no chopped liver."

"Thank you Livvie."

"Teddy woke up this morning looking for Bellie,"

"That's cute. She said you were going to call back later so she could say hi to him. She took a real shine to him. If she and Gerry didn't have their own language I'd say he had some heavy hitting competition."

"I don't think she's grasped the concept that she's the smaller one. She was on mother mode with him the whole night. Like mother like daughter."

"I have no idea what you're talking about. Before she came along I wasn't exactly the most maternal person."

"No but you always cared too much about everyone else. Such compassion has been passed on to our daughter. She's lucky."

"You've passed that on to your own kids Fitz." She assured him.

"I can't speak for Teddy, but I know Gerry and Karen are who they are because of you. Bellie too."

"Was Bellie okay? After last night?" He finally asked. Olivia closed her eyes and took a moment,

"You know I was bound to ask, even if we have spent the last twenty minutes talking around it." He paused,

"I know you remember."

"She was okay. She liked meeting Teddy and spending time with all her siblings,"

"But..."

"She noticed that Mellie and I love our kids differently. It upset her a little. She didn't understand why Mellie didn't love her beloved Gerry and Karen the way I did. And that she wasn't very affectionate to Teddy. That she didn't speak to them or to you very nicely." Fitz's heart ached a little knowing that the few hours Belle spent with them managed to shed some of her innocence.

"I'm sorry Liv."

"What are you apologizing for? It's not your fault. The kid wears hear heart on her sleeve. She hates to see people she loves get hurt and Mellie without meaning to managed to exude intolerance for her own children who happened to be the people she loves most in the world."

"Gerry said when she hugged him goodbye she told him that she was glad that she was their sister because that meant they had you too, because you loved them the way you love her."

"My sweet sweet little girl," Olivia said softly as she ran her fingers through Bellie's hair as she slept peacefully beside her.

"Liv," Fitz said trying to get her attention realising that she had grown incredibly quiet.

"She finally asked the questions," Fitz swallowed the lump in his throat,

"How she came about, why if you loved her so much did no one know she existed. Was that the reason why we lived so far away from everyone else? If Daddy loved Mommy why he was with the mean lady. Did that mean Daddy didn't love us as much as and I quote 'real family'."

"Oh Liv, I'm so sorry you had to answer all that on your own, that you had the answer it at all. What did you say?"

"That Mommy and Daddy fell in love without meaning to and out of that love we created her. That we always knew it was wrong because Daddy already had a wife. That because you were the president we had to be careful about who knew about her because not everyone would understand, but it had nothing to do with just how much you loved her. I told her we moved because I wanted her to have a quiet life. That you loved her every bit as much as Teddy, Karen sand Gerry."

"And..." He pressed wanting to know how she answered the question about Daddy loving her Mommy.

"That Daddy loved Mommy the best way he can but his love for her as his daughter was beyond measure and that she never has to worry about how much he truly loves her because its just as much as Mommy does." Fitz choked back a sob,

"Thank you Livvie,"

"You might touch on it with her the next time you talk."

"I will. Liv," he promised.

"I don't want to talk about it right now Fitz. Please." She begged knowing that it would be her undoing. Bellie's questions had ripped the bandaid off the wound she knew she had been dancing around for years.

"Fine Liv, but we will talk about this. Once and for all."

"Give me a couple of days."

"Okay," he relented

"Despite what you've convinced yourself I do love you Liv. Heart and Soul."

"We'll talk later, I promise."


	11. Let me

Fitz was well aware that Olivia was conveniently dodging his calls. Whenever he called for Bellie she was in the shower or on a call. When he called her on her phone she would miss it and call when she knew he couldn't talk. Being privy to his schedule had its advantages. She knew they had to talk, she just wasn't ready yet. Bellie's questions were still coming and she felt somewhat helpless trying to provide her daughter with assurances she didn't feel equipped she had.

"Hi Baby," Fitz greeted lovingly,

"Hi."

"How are you?"

"I'm good." Bellie answered. Immediately he knew all was not right with now both his girls. His usually chatterbox of a daughter was suddenly monosyllabic.

"Is everything okay honey?"

"Yep, here's Mommy." Bellie said handing the phone to her mother.

"Bellie," Olivia called out to her daughter who suddenly bolted out the room.

"Hello," she said confused.

"What just happened?"

"I was about to ask you that question. I've literally just walked in the door. Fitz I'm going to check on her. Can I call you back?"

"Sure. Of course." Olivia hung up the phone in search of her daughter and found her up on the treehouse that Huck and Gerry had built for her. Which was her safe place. Olivia knew whatever it was, it was major. Taking a deep breath she called out to Bellie,

"Hey Sweetheart can Mommy come up?" There was a moment of pause before Bellie lowered the rope ladder that led up to her treehouse. Olivia threw off her Jimmy Choo shoes, and took her jacket off before climbing the ladder. She thanked her wardrobe fairy for not suggesting she wear white pants that particular day. Olivia found Bellie sitting in the corner of the treehouse looking at her somewhat expectantly.

"Honey what happened today?"

Bellie pulled out a flyer from her school. Olivia's heart broke when she realised it was the flyer for daddy and daughter dance at Bellie's school.

"Oh baby I'm so sorry." Olivia said gathering her daughter in her arms, not only was her Daddy so far away, no one could know at least yet who her Daddy was even if he could slip out of his presidential duties.

"Everyone at school thinks I don't have a Daddy." Bellie said softly.

"Because he was never around they think I don't have one and I could never tell them they were wrong, because I can't tell them who he is." She confessed.

"Mommy, I didn't know I didn't have one till I went to Daddy's house. He's Teddy, Gerry and Karen's Dad. They have pictures with him everywhere. All my pictures only have you, Hucky, Aunt Abby, Uncle Stephen, Gerry and Karen in it."

"Baby, you have a Daddy and he loves you so much. You're too little to understand everything right now but I promise you that your Daddy loves you up to the moon and back." Bellie looked at her mother unconvinced.

"When has Mommy ever made a promise she didn't mean?"

"Never."

"Then trust me when I tell you that if you're Dad could be here any and every time you needed him he would be. But Daddy has a very important job that keeps him far away. Your Daddy loves you so much that you're the first thing he thinks of when he wakes up and the last thing he thinks of before he goes to sleep. Why do you think he calls you all the time?" Bellie shrugged. Olivia knew that there was no bandaid big enough to heal her daughters heart.

Bellie ate and said very little at dinner that night. Olivia was venting to Stephen discreetly by text at the dinner table as her daughter played with her food half heartedly. She, Huck and Abby looked at each other helplessly. When the phone rang she didn't even look up, when normally she'd make a jump for it excitedly.

"Hello," Olivia answered and grinned when she realised who it was,

"Hey Bellie it's for you." Olivia said handing her the phone,

"Uncle Stephen!" She exclaimed brightening up realising who it was. She loved her Godfather.

"Hi Bellie-Boo, so I hear you have a dance coming up and I was kind of hoping you'd let me take you to it. I mean I know I'm not your Daddy but I am your godfather, so that's close enough right?"

"You'd come here to take me to my dance?" She asked.

"Of course. I would be honoured. What do you say?"

"Yes please I'd love for you to take me. Thank you Uncle Stevie."

"It's my pleasure Bellie-Boo. Get your Mom to send me all the details and I will have Aunt Georgia book tickets to come okay."

"Okay. Love you."

"Love you too little one." He replied. Bellie handed Olivia the phone and suddenly her appetite had returned. Olivia left the table to speak to Stephen,

"Thank you. You truly are the best friend and godfather a mother and daughter could ask for."

"Anything to keep my Pope Girls happy. Send me details Liv and we'll book flights."

"I will do. Thank you Stevie."

"You'd do the same for my kids if I had any."

"Over a cliff,"

"Over a cliff."

When Fitz called in time to say good night to Bellie Abby had told him that Olivia was with her and that they had both fallen asleep in Olivia's bed. Fitz knew Bellie only ever slept in Olivia's bed when she's had a nightmare or upset. Abby did say that Olivia promised to call him back as soon as she could.

He found himself pacing in his office waiting for her phone call. Olivia woke up around midnight which was only six for him. She grabbed her phone and left the room to call him,

"Liv, what happened? Is everything okay?"

"No everything is definitely not okay." She answered softly.

"What happened?"

"There's a Daddy and Daughter dance at her school."

"Oh Liv," he apologized,

"The sad thing is, she didn't even have to ask Fitz. She just knew you couldn't go. She told me today that everyone at school just assumes she doesn't have a Daddy because she's never spoken of one and she never corrected them knowing she couldn't explain who he was." Fitz felt the tears well up in his eyes,

"She said she never realised that she didn't really have a Daddy till she came to visit you and saw all your pictures with your other kids and how there were none of her like she didn't exist. I didn't know how to explain that to her Fitz. I've been fielding questions since she came back from Thanksgiving Fitz, and she breaks my heart every day because I don't know how to answer them without it sounding so lame. She's six Fitz and I feel like I broke her. Maybe it would have been better if she didn't know what she was missing out on?" She was beginning to question the wisdom of being accessible to him whenever he could spare the moment, which was doing right by him but not so much her daughter.

"Liv no."

"I'm at a loss here. I don't know how to fix it. All her life all I've ever wanted was to spare her paying the price for our sins, and I haven't done a very good job of it. She's paying now." Olivia broke down in tears and all Fitz wanted to do was transport himself to Paris to be with her and assure her but he couldn't.

"Liv, I don't know how to make this better."

"Welcome to my world." She said defeatedly.

"I'm so sorry Liv."

"I'm pretty sure I was equally involved in this mess. I count my blessings every day for that little girl Fitz, I never thought it was possible to love anyone more than I loved you till she came into my life. Her existence doesn't leave room for regrets. I just feel I'm constantly short changing her."

"That little girl wants for nothing because she has you. If anyone is short changing her its me."

"Fitz,"

"You and I both know it."

"I know if you could you would be there for her in a heartbeat."

"I can't wait till this is all over." Fitz said clearly frustrated. Olivia sighed deeply,

"Behold the day when it won't be so complicated anymore. Whenever that will be."

"Liv," Fitz detected a tone in her voice,

"I know we're counting down the days, but to what exactly Fitz? Is it really going to be simple after you're out of that White House? It'll just be a different type of complicated. Did we really think once you're out of there you'll just be able to rock up at Bellie's parent teacher and no one will be none the wiser? Are we just going to pick up where we left off? Where is that exactly? It feels I've been waiting for almost eight years and I don't remember what for? I've been waiting for so long that I don't know what to do when the waiting ends. If it ends." Her words were valid. Whether she did consciously or not her life had been on hold. Sure she dated here and there but she never allowed anyone close enough to make an impact. Somewhere deep down she had convinced herself that she and Fitz were endgame. After eight years could they really just pick up where they left off?

"I love you,"

"If our history is anything to go by, that has never been enough. What do you Love exactly Fitz? I'm not the same girl I was back then. I'm afraid you have this unrealistic picture of the girl you loved all those years ago and I can't measure up to her."

"Liv I know you. More than anything else, my soul knows you. I love you not for who you were all those years ago but who you are today and every day since. We may not have seen each other every day in the last eight years, or even spoken every day, but I know you. You're the person who believes only the good in someone until proven otherwise, or her gut tells her so. You're the person who gives people second chances. Who give people the opportunity to rise beyond circumstances that could have potentially led them in other direction. You're the person who provides a family for those who need it and welcome anyone who wants to be a part of it. I know when you love, you love wholeheartedly despite how much it may even hurt you. I know that despite how scared you are, I know you love me and I know you want to give this a go. Up to this point, you've been doing all the fighting for us. You didn't have to raise Bellie to know me, or drill into her how much I love her every day that its so ingrained in her that even when I am never around she knows it. You didn't have to provide my kids with a home wherever in the world they ended up but you have. Your home is their home more than this place ever could be and I am more than grateful for that. You have instilled the importance of family and looking after one another in them as I have tried to without us even sharing a house. You have been the one who's kept this family together. So let me fight for us now. I'm not saying its ever going to be easy, there are tough roads still ahead, but the moment I am out of this White House I'll be there Liv. I promise. Don't give up on us now. Please!" He begged.

"I'm scared Fitz. I'm scared of what coming out will do to Bellie. I'm scared that we'll realise we made a mistake. That its not enough, that we're not enough. While you're with Mellie it's easy to fall back on the fact that you have a wife, I'm scared when you're finally free to love me fully, I won't be enough."

"You're scared to become Mellie," He translated. That he too loved Mellie once, that he married her, and Olivia's worst fears is that he will find someone one day who'll be the Olivia to him all those years ago. Her silence confirmed what her voice could not.

"Liv, I love you in a way I can't even begin to fathom. I fell in love with you at first glance and since then you have owned my heart. It's safe to say its all yours Baby and no one else's. I have waited eight years too. I'm scared too. I have failed you so much in the last eight years that I'm scared you'll come to a point when you decide it just too much work and it's not worth it. Every day I am away from you I am haunted by the possibility that one day you'll stop answering the phone. That Bellie won't want to have anything to do with me. That you'll finally stop loving me. We can do this Liv. As long as we're together. Promise me you'll give us a chance."

"Okay," she agreed softly. She couldn't deny she loved him, and that she had waited for him all this time. She owed it to herself, her daughter and to him to make an honest go of it once they finally had their chance.

"Okay then." He said somewhat relieved.

"Fitz, you're going to need to talk to Bellie. There's only so much Mommy can say."

"I will Liv," he promised.

When Bellie woke the following morning she was started by the figure sitting on the bed watching her sleep.

"Daddy?" She asked rubbing her eyes in disbelief. Fitz nodded and put his finger to his lips.

"Let's not wake Mommy yet. How about you come and we can cook breakfast together?" Bellie hesitated for a moment and her uncertainty in him broke his heart. He opened his arms out to her and climbed into them giving him a somewhat half hearted hug which only made him hold her tighter as he picked her up off the bed. He carried her all the way to the kitchen and placed her on the kitchen counter so he could look straight in her eyes.

"Baby, daddy wants to say sorry." He said brushing her curls away from her face.

"What for?" Bellie asked,

"For giving you the impression that I don't love you as much as Gerry, Karen or Teddy. That I'm more their Daddy than I am yours. Sweetheart that's not true. I love you so much. You are my daughter every bit as much as Karen is. Every day I can't be with you breaks my heart because all I want to do is be with you and your Mommy." He said as tears began to pool in his eyes.

"You have all these photos with Gerry, Karen and Teddy, at Christmas, Thanksgiving, Birthdays and I don't. I don't have Holidays or Birthdays with you."

"I know Baby and I am so sorry. Mommy told me she explained to you that I was married to Miss Mellie and she was my wife which is why Mommy and I couldn't be together." Bellie nodded,

"And you know how daddy has this really important job right? Well the job has responsibilities to the American People, you know how Mommy takes care of you, this house including Abby, Huck, Gerry and Karen? Well it's kind of the same for me except I am taking care of the American People. So I have to lead by example. Even though I love your mommy and I wanted to be with the both of you I couldn't just leave Miss Mellie it couldn't just be about what I wanted but what was right for everyone. I know daddy isn't explaining it very well, but I promise you when you're a little older we'll give it another go."

"Okay,"

"I know it seems as though I'm hiding you so that no one knows about you, but your Mommy and I decided before you were born to protect you, and to keep you away from the people who take photographs so that you can have a quiet life with Mommy."

"It's not because you're ashamed of me because I don't look like Gerry, Karen or Teddy?" The tears finally broke free as he looked at his youngest child and drew her into his arms hugging her tightly before looking at her again,

"Sweetheart of course not. I love you. I could never be ashamed of you. You're beautiful just like your Mommy. Whether of not you look like me or your Mom doesn't determine how much I love you. I love you because you're you. You're my little princess and there is no one else in the world like you. I am proud of you but most of all I am proud to be your Daddy. Once Daddy is out of the White House he won't be missing anymore holidays or birthdays." He promised.

"I love you too Daddy."

"I'm so very happy to hear that Sweatpea," he said lifting her off the counter and hugging her close. Bellie yawned as she lay her head on his shoulder,

"It might be a little early for breakfast, what do you say you and I sleep for a little bit more?" Bellie nodded in agreement. A couple of hours later Olivia woke to find Daddy and Daughter laying beside her. Fitz was in jeans and a sweater, Bellie asleep literally on top of him with her head snuggled into his neck as she clung to him. Her heart melted at the sight of them. She hoped it was a preview of what was to come.

"Penny for your thoughts Liv," Fitz said as he looked at her. He had woken when she first moved,

"You came?"

"Of course I did. My daughter went to bed questioning whether I loved her. How do I in good conscience just go about my day. She would never had believed me over the phone, so I flew the helicopter here."

"I don't even want to know how much in trouble you're in from Cyrus."

"Cyrus is fine. I flew with the kids, so they're sort of my cover. I have a couple of days and then I'll officially fly them to London, so they can take pictures of the loving father dropping his kids back from holidays."

"So you can stay for a couple of days?"

"If you'll have me."

"I suppose we can manage that." She replied with a grin.

"Thank you for coming all this way."

"You know if I could I will always make a way Livi,"

"I know." She said dropping her lips to his briefly.

"I'm guessing Karen and Gerry went to bed when you got here earlier this morning."

"Yep, and you finally get to meet Teddy."

"You brought him? Bellie is going to be so excited. I'm so glad. I've been looking forward to meeting him. I might start in breakfast if the whole brood is here."

"Hey Liv,"

"Yeah?" She replied looking back at him,

"Breakfast can wait. Come here." He said opening his arm out to her. Without hesitation she scooted over moulded into his embrace.

"God it feels good to hold you in my arms,"

"Feels good to be in your arms." She admitted rubbing her nose against his chest to warm them. She closed her eyes contently and drifted back to sleep. The three of them awoke to rustling from the kitchen which was a sign that the bigger kids were awake.

"Guess who's downstairs baby?" Fitz said to Bellie as she lifted her head from his chest. Immediately she grinned knowing her siblings were downstairs. Without waiting another second she scrambled out of bed and ran downstairs. Fitz and Olivia laughed as they heard her squeal which meant she just saw Teddy.

"I like waking up like this," he said wrapping both his arms around her,

"Me too,"

Ten minutes later they came downstairs. As Gerry and Karen torpedoed towards her throwing their arms around her Teddy stood back taking it all in.

"Hi, you must be Teddy. I'm Liv, I've heard so much about you from your siblings and your dad. Welcome to our home. Feel at home okay."' Teddy nodded and formally shook her hand as he had been trained to do as America's Baby/child.

"Hey Liv, convince Gerry to invite Amy to dinner, so you can all meet her already. She's in Paris with a bunch of her friends." Karen said as she wrapped her arms around Liv's middle. Olivia laughed as she draped an arm around Karen dropping a kiss on her temple.

"Oh no, I'm not getting in the middle of that. Your brother can make those decisions on his own."

"Thank you Liv," Gerry said gratefully sticking his tongue out at his sister.

"Come on Ger, when else will you get the chance to have Dad and Liv at the same time. And without you know who." Karen made a good point,

"Fine, but we're cooking not Liv. We've already ambushed her house."

"I don't mind cooking, besides do you really want her first meal with the family something you cooked?" Olivia teased knowing only too well what his culinary attempts resulted to,

"You make an excellent point. We'll just assist then. I'll give her a call. Can I borrow your car to pick her up Liv?"

"Of course. You take my car. Karen and I will take Abby's to go to the markets while your Dad watches the two little monkeys." Liv delegated while they all nodded in agreement. After breakfast Fitz shooed them all off to run their errands while he cleaned up with his two little helpers.

"Bellie okay Liv?" Karen asked worriedly.

"Better now that you're all here. Apparently she and your Dad had a talk this morning and they're okay."

"And you and Dad?" Liv turned her gaze briefly to Karen,

"We're getting there. One step at a time."

"Good because I am pretty sure that and Teddy are the only things that are keeping him together in that White House. She who must not be named has been in fine form."

"Way too much Harry Potter for you guys," Olivia chuckled. It wasn't the first time the Grant kids referred to their mother as Voldemort.

"Gerry slipped on Thanksgiving while he was talking to Dad and got the whole name, Fitzgerald Aidan Grant," she imitated making Olivia laugh.


	12. A glimpse

"Hey Liv, we're on the way back home. Was there anything you'd like for me to pick up?" Gerry asked making Liv smile hearing him refer to their house as home.

"No sweetheart Karen and I managed to get everything we needed."

"Cool, if you think of anything just let me know."

"I will. Drive safe and see you soon."

"Will do, thanks Liv." Gerry flipped his phone closed and put it into his shirt pocket.

"So you've told me loads about Liv and her daughter Bellie, but not the connection. Are they family? Family friends?" She asked. Gerry hesitated. He spoke of Liv and Bellie as family but never defined who they were. For one no one really knew about Bellie or Liv in that capacity and he knew the risks of telling her the truth. He appreciated that though his Dad and Liv had the same concerns they had trusted him to make his own judgements. A part of the reason why he waited to introduce her to Liv and Bellie was because he did worry about the repercussions. He didn't want to be the one to expose his little sister and the woman he loved as a mother to a scandal. The moment anyone laid their eyes on Bellie they would know who her father was, especially when you put Fitz in the same room. Gerry pulled up on the side of he road not wanting to be driving while engaged in that conversation. He turned to face her.

"Amy, Bellie is my little sister, and Liv..." Gerry took a deep breath.

"Liv is the love of my Dad's life. My parents have a political marriage which when you see them in the same room you'll realise what I mean. They married each other because on paper they were well suited and it was what their parents had planned for them before they were even born. Which was fine, but Dad met Liv and he loved her from the first moment he met her when she first came to help with his campaign. So he fired her, of course. But Liv was the best campaign fixer there ever was and he needed her to win the election. That and Uncle Cyrus pretty much told him he'd walk if he didn't get her back. So he re-hired her and for months they fought it, but there's a connection between them that's inexplicable. Again you'll see it when you're in the same room. Long story short they got together, but when Dad was elected and we moved into the White House Liv left while Dad was doing his State of the Union address. She didn't want his presidency to be tarnished with a scandal of an affair and she knew Dad would never let her go so she left without telling him. To Dad she wasn't an affair, to him she was the person who made waking up in the morning worth it. When she left he fell apart and he was heartbroken behind closed doors. They didn't see each other again for over a year till Uncle Cyrus had to call her to fix a possible scandal. Liv stayed away as much as she could but Dad refused to let her go again. He would rather have her in his life in any capacity than none at all. Then something happened between them and she pushed and pushed him away refusing to be his mistress until he let her go. I guess Liv didn't think he ever would so when he did, she took it really hard. She sort of dropped out of DC and no one really knew where she was. Her closest friends, who are her family knew where she was and reassured Uncle Cyrus that she was okay. To Karen and I nothing really changed. We still received care packages and letters from her so it never really tweaked for us just how drastic her sudden move was. It wasn't until Bellie was born that she sort of resurfaced and even then she refused to see Dad. She had Huck bring Bellie to a secure location so that Dad could meet her and know about her giving him the option to be a part of her life or not. She was ready to take Bellie to Paris and raise her but she knew that Dad deserved to know about Bellie and give us a chance to decide if we wanted to be a part of Bellie's life." Gerry looked at Amy a little uncertain till she placed a hand over his encouraging him to go on,

"Karen and I have always loved Liv. She was more Mom than Mom ever was. She took care of us and loved us so unconditionally from the moment she met us. Not because she had to but just because she was Liv. Liv chose to live in the outskirts of DC so that Bellie could be close by for us to see her. And honestly the moment I laid eyes on that kid I fell in love with her. More so when she started to get her little personality. Liv knew that Karen and I wanted to be a part of her life, so as hard as it was for her to make sure that Bellie remained undetected they stayed close by, in hindsight mainly for me and Karen. We made sure we got to spend every spare moment we had at Liv's. Dad hardly ever saw her, for obvious reasons. He called every morning and every night so she could hear his voice till she was big enough to gurgle and finally talk back. Dad didn't see or really speak to Liv for those two years. She made a point of not the one being with Bellie when he called. If she did speak to him it would just be about Bellie. When Bellie got bigger it was harder for her to understand why Dad was hardly around and always left and it was starting to affect her. So Liv finally decided to take her to Paris so she could just be a normal kid worried that Dad's inconsistent presence was doing more damage than good which Dad reluctantly agreed with. He wanted Bellie to have a full life and if she in DC the places she could be would be limited and the reason to stay close by was only so he could have access to her which he couldn't really utilize as often as he would have liked.

"Is that why you and Karen chose to study in Europe? To be closer to Liv and Bellie?"

"Yes and no. I think Karen and I would have ended up in Europe anyway because we both hate the media hooplah and we knew the only way we could have a decent chance at anonymity is out of the US. Actually it was Liv who taught us that way back when we had to endure campaigning for Dad's first election. Was it more appealing knowing that Liv and Bellie were going to be here, absolutely. I wouldn't trade all the time we're had with them for anything. Karen and I were lucky, we were big enough to protest to the show, and we always had each other. Teddy was not only born into it, but born for it. Karen, Dad and I were always the three Muskeeters and when Liv came along we became the awesome foursome even though they weren't even together. Liv always fought for us and what was best for us. Teddy has only really had Dad and Mom isn't any more interested in him that she was with us. When I say Karen and I are lucky, it's because Liv always treated us as though we were one of her kids. We've never felt less than completely loved the way she loved Bellie. In every home she's ever had since we've met her Karen and I always had a room should we want or need it. I don't come to Paris almost every weekend because I have to, it's because I want to. I love walking into that house and just feeling completely loved. When Karen came into the world she and I were immediately partners in crime. I loved her so much and I never thought I would ever feel that way again and then Bellie came into our lives. You're going to love her. She's a little runt, cute as a button, sharp as a sword and hilariously funny. But most of all, she's entirely loving. I wanted to give you a heads up because what you're about to walk into isn't exactly the norm. You're the first person in my life who's ever met Bellie and Liv."

"Thank you for trusting me with something so precious to you." Amy said leaning over to plant a kiss on his cheek before giving his hand a squeeze reassuringly. Gerry nodded appreciatively and started the car up again. He brought her hand to his lips before placing it back on his knee without releasing it. It didn't take them long before they got to the gates of Olivia's home. As they drove up the the driveway Bellie announced their arrival to the rest of the household with an excited squeal. By the time Gerry had parked the car Bellie had burst out of the front door. Gerry grinned at the sight of her,

"Hey Kid, come meet my friend." He said as he opened the door for Amy. Amy could see why Gerry was so enamored by Isobel Grace Pope as she walked over to Amy and gave her a somewhat shy but heartfelt hug hello.

"Welcome to our house. It's so nice to finally meet you." She certainly had Grant charm, Amy observed falling in love with Bellie immediately,

"Ger talks about you all the time," she added with a teasing glance at her brother making Amy laugh,

"You better run little one," he suggested about to pick her up till she ducked out of his arms and ran back inside the house giggling.

"Welcome to the madhouse." He said taking her hand in his.

"This is going to be fun." Amy said confidently

"Well for one our mother isn't here so that's always a good start." Karen said as she came out of the Kitchen receiving a "Karen Millicent Grant" from Olivia who was following close behind wiping her hands with a tea towel,

"We wouldn't want Amy to think I encourage your mother bashing." Draping an arm over Karen's shoulder, giving her a pointed by loving look.

"Sorry Liv. She really doesn't. If you weren't here she'd make me run laps for my transgression." Karen stated earning a chuckle and an eye roll from Olivia while the rest of them laughed.

"Hi, I'm Olivia. Please call me Liv. It's nice to finally meet you. We've been hearing great things about you." She said shaking Amy's hand,

"Like mother like daughter," Gerry muttered making them laugh as he blushed.

"Where's Dad, to think he might actually be the less embarrassing parent, who knew?" He said out loud.

"I heard that." Fitz said dryly coming into the room with Teddy and Bellie close behind.

"Amy, this is my Dad, my little brother Teddy and you met the little monster already." He said pointing to Isobel who only giggled in response.

"It's a pleasure to meet you Mr President, and you too little man. You brother and sister talk about you a whole lot." She said as she bent down to his eye level while he smiled shyly at her.

"And it's Fitz behind walls and doors." Fitz insisted,

"How about Mr Grant?" She bargained not entirely comfortable referring to him so casually,

"Sold." He agreed.

Gerry wasn't at all exaggerating when he said there was something about his Dad and Olivia's chemistry. It was almost a force of nature on its own. The way Fitz looked at her, regarded her, how his eyes followed her every move, how he instinctively knew what she needed before she did and provided it without being asked. He anticipated her every need, while she too was attentive to him without a word being exchanged. They weren't openly affectionate with their gestures but there was something about their energy that even if she didn't have the back story she'd undoubtedly think that something was between them and if she didn't know he was the president and that he had a wife back home in DC she would assume that Liv was his wife just by the way he regarded her.

"Teddy sweetheart would you like me to help you cut up your chicken?" Olivia asked just after Bellie had said grace.

"Yes please," he replied giving her a grateful smile. Olivia stood to her feet and helped Teddy cut his chicken into manageable pieces. When she as finished her gave his head an affectionate little caress before heading back to her chair. The look of love that was on Fitz's face at her gesture was worth a thousand words, especially as she thought nothing of it.

After dinner they had gathered in the living room ready for a movie. Fitz and Liv popped popcorn as they finished cleaning up after dinner. By the time they joined the kids for the movie they had all finally agreed on one. Fitz and Olivia had both Teddy and Bellie between them while Karen was on the other side of Liv. Gerry and Amy sat on the floor leaning against one of the other couches. Karen had gotten the little one changed in their PJ's and teeth brushed before the movie began. Not even a quarter into the movie Teddy's head fell on Liv's arm, Bellie a close second as snuggled into Fitz's embrace.

"Lets put them to bed," Olivia suggested. Gerry stood to his feet.

"Don't carry him Liv he's too big. Let me take him. Dad and I will put them to bed." Gerry said taking Teddy from her arms.

"Thanks Ger, I've set him up in Bellie's room. You and your Dad in your room. Amy in Karen's room and Karen's bunking with me."

"Karen you didn't have to give up your room, I would have been okay with the couch." Amy said slightly embarrassed,

"Don't sweat it. I love sleeping next to Liv. She doesn't kick, unlike some." She answered looking at Gerry pointedly who just laughed. Liv stood to her feet to give Bellie a kiss.

"Goodnight Mommy's sweet sweet girl. Mommy loves you to the moon and back again." She murmured softly in her ear.

"Love you Mommy," Bellie replied unconsciously. Liv dropped a kiss on Teddy's head.

"Night little man. I'm so glad to have finally met you. Love you." She uttered without reservation before sitting back down next to Karen oblivious to the look of adoration in Fitz's face at her ability and capacity to love.

"You alright Dad?" Gerry asked asked as they tucked both kids in.

"Yeah, I just don't want to ever leave." Gerry smiled.

"This house has that effect on people, especially Grant's I suspect it has a lot to do with the Pope's who live in it."

"I don't know how to resume my other life, this one surpasses it immeasurably."

"Not long to go Dad. You're almost at the finish line. You and Liv okay?" Gerry asked,

"Yeah, she's not quite convinced that everything will just fall into place once I'm done with my presidency. I think she's also scared of what your mother will unleash once we're finally going our separate ways. She knows your Mom would be willing to throw anyone under the bus to get political gain and what better way to do that than declare that while her husband, the ex president was in office and she was Pregnant with our third child, he was having an affair with the great Olivia Pope and created a love child. Liv's done an amazing job keeping Bellie out of the limelight that she's scared what it would do to her. People will be cruel and Bellie is old enough to understand intolerance and be hurt by it." Fitz paused,

"Ger, she thought I loved her less because I barely have any pictures of her. She didn't understand why there was none of her at the house. She thought I didn't love her as much because she didn't look like me, or the three of you."

"Oh Bellie Boo." Gerry said heartbroken at the thought reaching down to run his fingers through her soft curls.

"How could anyone not love this kid? Mom wouldn't really throw Liv under that bus would she?" Gerry asked but already knew the answer.

"You have to find a way to make sure she doesn't Dad. You can't let her do that to Bellie. It'll kill Liv."

"I know Son, I know. You know I'll do everything I can to make sure they don't get dragged into your mothers political ambition." Gerry nodded clearly upset by the thought that anyone would purposely hurt his little sister and Liv who he loved so much. When they returned to the living room Gerry sat between Liv and Amy who had moved to the couch. One by one they started dropping like flies. When Karen yawned and headed upstairs Amy went with her. Not long after Gerry followed though not before giving Olivia a massive hug telling her how much he loved her.

"I love you too Ger, up to the moon and back." She said affectionately running her fingers through the back of his head before releasing him.

Olivia and Fitz cleared up the living room and wordlessly loaded up the dishwasher with theice cream glasses and popcorn bowls. She made them both a cup of tea. Olivia grabbed Fitz's hand as if to draw him out of his reverie.

"What do you say we take midnight stroll handsome and you can tell me what's on your mind?" Fitz brought her hand to his cheek before placing his lips on her palm.

"I'd go anywhere with you." Hand in hand they walked along the stretch of the beach,

"I don't ever want to leave. I want to stay here forever. I want today to be my every day for the rest of my life." Olivia gave his hand a squeeze,

"Today was a good day."

"I don't know how to go back to my other life knowing this one exists. One where I have all my kids under one roof and the love of my life within reach." Olivia stopped walking to look up at him.

"Me too." She said with tears in her eyes as Fitz held her face with both his hands,

"But you do have to go back Fitz, but it's not for much longer."

"Promise me you'll wait. The thought you and Bellie and our family at the finish line is the only thing that allows me to function till then."

"Even if I didn't want to wait anymore, my heart demands it does." Fitz brought his forehead to hers.

"I love you Liv."

"I love you too Fitz."

Thank you again for your amazing reviews. It fuels me to give up sleep and keep writing :) Hope you enjoy this chapter. Let me know what you think. Have a fab day!


	13. Almost isn't enough

"Morning guys, where's Liv?" Fitz asked as became down to breakfast to see that everyone was already up and eating with the exception of Liv.

"She's gone for her morning jog, she said to let you sleep for as long as you can." Karen answered. They were all aware that Fitz rarely slept and the only reason why he was able to sleep was because of Liv's close vicinity. Gerry handed him the plate of pancakes and bacon Liv had placed in the oven for him.

They were all due to leave that afternoon. He and Teddy were heading home and dropping Karen and Gerry off to London along the way. Between Tom, Jack and Huck they had managed to keep their presence in Paris undetected. All the world knew was that the president was in a France location spending some quality time with his children. They had pre-taken photos before they left the White House of different circumstances that Cyrus had been periodically releasing to the press.

Bellie jumped out of her seat and climbed into Fitz's lap. Fitz dropped his lips to the top of her head as he wrapped his arms around her middle. A familiar ache invaded his heart knowing that he would have to leave his Pope girls once more and he didn't know when he would be able to see them again. The mere thought had him giving Bellie another squeeze.

Gerry had filled two of Olivia's to go thermo cups with coffee and placed it in front of Fitz. Fitz looked up and met Gerry's eyes understanding what he was suggesting.

"Hey Bellie Boo, why don't we get you showered and dressed?" Karen suggested taking her queue. Holding her arms out to Bellie who climbed out of Fitz's lap to join her sister.

"And you too little man." Gerry said to Teddy ruffling his hair affectionately.

Fitz stood to his feet and took the coffees with him and walked down the stretch of the beach knowing he'd find her by the dunes. He stood a way away and watched her for a few minutes as she sat there clearly lost in her thoughts. She never failed to take his breath away.

Olivia needed to clear her head. She wasn't prepared for how much she didn't want Fitz to leave. For a few days their family had seamlessly co-existed in a surreal alternate universe where their being together as a family was the norm and despite her quest for self preservation she had bought into it. Now that he was leaving again, it left a somewhat familiar bitter taste to her mouth, stolen moments was all they seemed to have and as close as they got to almost, almost was never enough. The closer Fitz got to the end of his term, the more worried she got about what Mellie would do to ensure that they would remain apart. What measures she would go through fearing for her daughters well being. Mellie played a mean game and she didn't care who she brought down. It was one thing to go after her, but Olivia wouldn't put it past Mellie to aim right for her child knowing that's where she would hurt her the most. Isobel was smart and she was at the age where she is coherent of her surroundings. When she was little it was easier to distract her from the papers plastered with her father's pictures with his other family. Now that she was bigger it was a little harder to conceal. She'd caught Isobel staring at an American newspaper transfixed on the photo of the father she could never claim as hers. Pictures of him, Mellie and Teddy together always evoked a quietness in her that worried Olivia. The last thing Olivia needed was for Bellie to see herself being referred to as America's First Bastard Child. She shuddered at the thought of having to explain the word bastard to her almost seven year old daughter. She was thankful that Fitz had managed to keep her location under wraps. Having so little to do with her children, Mellie never bothered to ask them exactly where they spent most of their weekends and whom with. Mellie left the parental roll call to Fitz who always knew where his children were.

Olivia knew she loved Fitz. God knows she tried to stop but never could quite shake him off and most days it's truly annoying trying to not feel something you clearly do. She promised him she'd wait for him, knowing that even if she didn't want to, her heart always found its way back to him.

Olivia looked up in surprise as he handed her a coffee as he sat down beside her. She gave him a small smile realising that she had been gone noticeably long enough. Fitz didn't speak as he stared out into the ocean. Olivia could see that his mind too was racing and the look on his face projected the heartache that she felt inside. Olivia brought her lips to his shoulder and looked at him knowing he was looking for reassurances too. Fitz turned his head to look at her, her eyes offered what little confidence she had, but most of all it showed her love for him despite the fear she felt within. He placed his lips on her forehead, wrapping his arms securely around her.

"We're in this together," he vowed.

"We're in this together," she replied with a nod resting her forehead against the crook of his neck as she snuggled deeper into his embrace.

"I don't want you to go." Olivia admitted not only to him but to herself. Fitz tightened his hold on her,

"I don't want to go either. You said so yourself, not long to go."

"I know. I do. I just don't know how to resume life without you after the sneak peak we've had these past few days. Knowing that when I come downstairs there you'll be, with our kids, just here."

"Me too. I can't wrap my head around the fact that when I leave here today I'll be leaving without my heart once more because my heart will always be where you are."

"And mine will always be where you are." Olivia sighed as she sat up and out of his embrace,

"Livi?"

"Hmmmm," was her only reply. Fitz brushed the loose strand of hair away from her face as she remained unmoving and not saying anything.

"Is it always going to be this hard?" She asked out loud.

"I hope not Baby, but no matter how tough it gets we'll get through it as long as we're together." Olivia nodded allowing him to pull her back into his arms savoring the moment. Not long after they walked back to the house hand in hand.

Olivia had cooked a feast of their favourites for lunch which was a tradition she had with the older Grant kids when they were over for the weekend or holidays. She loved to cook for them and enjoyed having them in the kitchen helping her as she prepared. Fitz watched them in fascination as she, Gerry and Karen worked in unison in the kitchen. Even Teddy as Bellie had a task which was to pull the ends off the green beans, stir batter and whatever tasks there were that didn't include knives. Fitz could tell that Gerry, Karen and Bellie's love for good food and cooking had come out of the traditions she had put in place by getting them involved in the kitchen. He'd spent a couple of hours on the phone with Cyrus working in her study as they prepared lunch. There was a somberness in the air that lingered as they all knew what was ahead. Fitz walked into the kitchen and placed a hand on Olivia's waist giving her cheek a quick kiss,

"What can I do?"

"Bellie Boo why don't you and Teddy show Daddy how to set the table?" Bellie looked up from her finished task and nodded before jumping off the kitchen counter closely followed by Teddy who had quickly become Bellie's shadow and protector. It reminded Karen so much of her and Gerry when they were little. Fitz smiled after them and gave Olivia a brief squeeze before he followed them out.

"They've gotten extremely close these last few days," Gerry observed happily,

"Yeah I think your Dad won't be the one she will not want to part with this time around." Olivia pointed out with a chuckle,

"I'm just glad they get along and that Teddy finally feels like he has someone. She's great with him Liv, she tempers his mood like you do with Dad."

"I hardly temper your father's mood."

"Yeah right Liv, whatever gets you through the day." Karen teased, giving her shoulder a light nudge.

"Is that right?" She replied wrapping her arms around Karen who squirmed knowing Liv knew her tickle weak spots,

"I take it back. Gerry has no idea what he's talking about." She yelped at Liv poked her gently on the side. Fitz walked back into the kitchen a few minutes later to find Gerry chasing after Liv and Karen.

"Should there be running in the kitchen?" He asked amused,

"Loosen up Grandpa." Liv retorted,

"Is that right?" He asked with a familiar teasing glint in his eyes. Fitz leapt towards her as she shrieked bolting to the other side of the room. Just before Fitz reached her Bellie had walked into the kitchen. Olivia wrapped her arms around Bellie and grinned up at Fitz knowing he couldn't very well tackle her with Bellie in her arms,

"That's low," he muttered.

"Bellie honey you want to help Mommy with lunch? You too little man." She said looking at Teddy who nodded and followed her.

"Outplayed Dad." Gerry said patting his father on the shoulder.

"Always," he agreed though not at all minding.

They were just finishing up lunch when Liv rose from her chair to grab something from the other room. When she came back she handed Teddy a wrapped present.

"This is from Bellie,"

"And Mommy," Bellie added,

"Open it." Teddy looked at his Dad who nodded his consent. Teddy's eyes grew wide to see a mini iPad in his hands,

"It's so you and I can talk anytime. Hucky fixed it for us." Teddy's eye brimmed with grateful tears and threw his arms about Bellie and then Liv.

"Thank you," he murmured as she bent down to his level to give him a proper hug.

"You're welcome. We love you little man. You will always have a place in our house okay?" Teddy tightened his grip around her neck laying his head on her shoulder. Without releasing him she stood to her feet and sat down on the chair with Theordore Grant wrapped around her. Bellie walked over to Fitz who pulled her to his lap hugging her close and tight. All of a sudden the reality of their leaving was undeniable. They had all grown accustomed to their borrowed time. Olivia rubbed Teddy's back soothingly with one had while keeping her other arm wrapped tightly around him. She met Fitz's eyes and it mirrored the pain and sorrow in hers. Gerry and Karen stood to their feet to start clearing the table giving Fitz and Olivia some semblance of a private moment. Gerry kissed the top of Liv's head as he passed her, almost wishing they were all leaving at the same time knowing how quiet the house would be once they were all gone.

Not long after they had to get ready to leave. Fitz had packed the night before so he could maximize the time he had with Olivia as Bellie and Teddy had become inseparable he wasn't as worried about her as he normally would be. He sensed that Olivia had been trying to put some physical distance between them all day, which is why he couldn't find her after he had brought his bags down. When he stepped out of the back door he saw Huck standing across the yard who put his finger to his lips and silently pointed up. Fitz looked up an saw Bellie's treehouse and mouthed a thank you to Huck. They still had a little bit over an hour before they had to leave and be hoped that was enough time, but then again nothing would be long enough till they no longer had to say goodbye. Fitz found Olivia in the corner of the treehouse wiping away tears as she heard someone climb up the ladder.

"Oh sweetheart," he said immediately pulling her in his arms.

"I'm sorry. I didn't want to blubber all over you. I know it's hard for you too. I didn't want you to see me like this."

"Hey, we're in this together. The image of you crying may break my heart but I want to know how you're feeling because I want to make it better. Or at least try." Olivia wrapped her arms around his middle, clinging so tightly to him knowing that she probably wouldn't see him again till after his term especially if they wanted to remain under the radar. For the first time she had shown him just how vulnerable she felt.

"Oh Liv, honey. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry it has to be like this. I'm sorry that I have spent eight years forcing you to wait. To love from afar. I'm so sorry we have spent more time apart than together. I'm sorry I've made you feel that all we have is stolen moments. You are the love of my life and I am sorry that my actions have never matched the words I've declared. I'm so sorry Liv. I wish I had been a better man and let you live your life without me to give you a shot at happiness instead of eight years of uncertainty. Baby I'm so sorry." Her heart ached as she looked up and saw the tears in his eyes as he spoke. Olivia tightened her already firm grip around him,

"Fitz, if I wanted anyone else I wouldn't have needed your blessing. I would have found a way. All we may have are stolen moments up to this point, but I wouldn't trade any of those moments for a life time of half living with someone who was just close enough. It may have been complicated navigating your relationship with Bellie but she needed to know you. However she may feel about it in the future, she'll never not have wanted to get to know you and spend the time she was able to spend with you, even if it wasn't as much as she may have wanted to." She spoke with such sincerity that he knew she didn't harbour the resentment he feared she would and deserved to. Fitz stretched out and lay on his back taking Liv with him. She lay her head on his chest and he held her tightly against him. Liv closed her eyes and breathed him in, their hands intertwined lay on his stomach. For a moment they forced each other to pretend that it was their norm.

"We better go, you have to get going."

"I know," he replied unmoving.

"Fitzgerald," Fitz groaned. He kissed her on the temple before sitting up grumbling making Olivia chuckle.

"I love you," she said it so softly that he could have missed it. Fitz's face lit up as he spun his head around to look at her making her blush. Though he knew she loved him, it had been awhile since she had said it to him. Quite awhile. He took her face with both hands and kissed her.

"If you wanted me to get myself moving to leave that wasn't the way to go," he said as they reluctantly pulled apart breathless. Olivia laughed as she kissed him again.

"Sorry,"

"You so aren't." Fitz said shaking his head not quite as amused as she was.

"Come on Baby, lets go. Bellie would want to have some time with you." Fitz nodded kissing her once more before groaning and finally leading her out of the tree house.

"Are you okay Dad? You're looking at little flushed." Gerry asked as they walked in and then it was as though a light had flicked on,

"Oh eww, don't answer."

"Gerry that's gross." Karen said as she came down the stairs with her bags. Olivia blushed willing the floor to swallow her whole,

"Seriously you two stop. Nothing happened." Olivia begged stepping out of Fitz's embrace making the rest of them laugh.

"Sorry Liv." Karen said walking over to give her a hug.

"No you're not, but I love you anyway." Liv replied hugging her back.

"Where are the little ones?" She asked,

"They're in Bellie's room. I think you both should go up there. It's going to be a mission separating them. Gerry and I didn't have the heart to tell them we have to go soon." Liv nodded and headed up the stairs while Fitz followed close behind.

"I don't want to go." Teddy confessed to his little sister.

"I don't want you to go either. Maybe Mommy can keep you too."

"You think?" Teddy said hopefully. Taking that as her queue Liv entered Bellie's room. She walked right over to Teddy and pulled him into her lap as they sat on Bellie's bed.

"You know, if it was my choice I'd keep you because I love you up to the moon and back again."

"Like Bellie?" He said turning so that he faced her.

"Every bit baby." Liv promised.

"Why?"

"Because you're you. You're smart, you're funny, you're protective and you're loyal. You're also a part of your Dad, Gerry, Karen and Bellie and I love them very much. So I love you very much."

"Liv,"

"Yeah little man,"

"I love you too." He admitted quietly, wrapping his arms around her neck.

"I don't want to go. My mommy doesn't love me the way you love Bellie, or even the way you love me."

"Oh buddy," Liv said hugging him tightly looking up at Fitz with tears in her eyes.

"I'm sure your Mommy loves you every bit as much as I do. She just loves differently. I know you don't want to go, but Daddy would be lonely without you. Daddy loves you so much and he'd be lost without you."

"We can both stay here." He said brightly looking at her making smile. She pulled him into another hug and rubbed his back,

"One day soon sweetheart. Not just yet. I promise one day."

"You don't make promises." He said suspiciously pulling back just enough to look at her.

"I said I don't make promises I can't keep." She corrected caressing his cheek. Satisfied with the answer Teddy resumed hugging her as she looked over at Fitz knowing he needed to hear it too.

"Dad, the car's here." Gerry said regretfully as he entered the room. Bellie dropped Fitz hand and turned away from him. Fitz dropped to his knees to be in her eye level. Olivia felt for her daughter, to her all he did was leave. The older she got the more she interpreted it as his other family was more important for reasons she couldn't quite understand.

"Daddy has to go sweetheart," his eyes and voice pleaded for her to understand. Whatever headway they had made in the last few days was made blurry by the fact that he was leaving again.

"Daddy always has to go." She said not so much in anger but resolve, which seemed worse somehow.

"It's okay." She said with defeated shrug. She knew that there was nothing she could do to change the circumstance. She walked over and sat next to Liv. Who ran a hand through her daughters hair and dropped a kiss on her head not releasing the little boy in her arms that remained wrapped around her. Fitz looked at her desperately not wanting to leave Bellie in that state.

"Teddy buddy, do you want to come and make sure we haven't left any of your toys downstairs?" Gerry said peeling a reluctant Teddy off Olivia. She gave him a kiss on the cheek and promised to see him downstairs shortly. Liv draped an arm around her daughter.

"Baby, we talked about this." Olivia reminded her gently.

"Daddy came all this way to see you because he loves you so much, but we knew he was never going to stay." Fitz's heart felt like it was being ripped to shreds,

"Daddy doesn't have long to go Baby and you can see him as much as you want once he's finished his job. For now you have to let Daddy go, but you know Daddy wont leave with you mad at him and he can't stay baby. It'll make him so sad if he has to leave you like this. You don't want Daddy to be sad do you?" Bellie looked at Olivia, then Fitz before back to Olivia again shaking her head. Fitz walked over to Bellie,

"Not long to go Baby Girl and I'm all yours. Till then know that it breaks Daddy's heart not to be with you and Mommy. I love you both so much."

"I love you too Daddy. It's okay. You can go. I'm not mad." She said bravely. If there was ever any doubt she was Olivia's daughter, that moment shattered such implication. She was so strong just like her mother. What scared Fitz was the day would come when she would no longer need or want for him anymore as she got used to not having him around. It was why it was so important to him that they spoke so often. There were so few that were his non negotiable and all of them were linked to his children. All four of them. Fitz picked her up and Bellie wrapped her whole body around him laying her head on his shoulder.

"I'm going to miss you my little princess."

"I'm going to miss you too Daddy." She replied. Olivia rose from where she sat.

"You better get going. It's getting late." She reminded him gently. He nodded cupping her face with his hand. Olivia kissed his palm before slipping her hand into it.

To say that their goodbye was epic would be an understatement. Though Gerry and Karen would more than likely be back in a few days for the weekend, it was the first time they were saying goodbye as a family. Somehow it defined the divide between the two families.

"We'll call you when we get home Liv," Gerry promised somewhat unnecessarily as it was standard practice. Karen pried Teddy away from Liv's arms, and Huck took Bellie from Fitz so that Olivia and Fitz could say their own goodbyes. With one last hug to Liv, all the Grant kids hopped in the car and Huck had taken Bellie inside.

"Bye Livi,"

"Goodbye Mr President." She said tearfully as she looked up at him, his arms wrapped around her waist.

"I love you." He declared resting his forehead against hers,

"I'm scared that one day you'll realise that you and Bellie have been so short changed that you deserve better, and you'll have enough. You'll stop loving me. It scares me that the little girl in there that I love so much has lived through so much of my disappointing her that she'll just have enough. That when everything is finally possible you won't be here anymore and I wouldn't blame you." He confessed tearfully.

"Fitz, we'll be here. We're in this together. We'll wait." She assured him taking his face with both hands looking right at him before bringing her lips to his.

"I love you too. Now go" she said giving him a light push. Fitz only tightened his arms around her bringing her closer to him.

"Fitz,"

"I'm going." He said with a defeated sigh. He kissed her once more before climbing into the car to join his children. Olivia stayed in standing in front of the house till the car had exited her gate.

Huck stayed long enough to keep Bellie distracted till bedtime. After they put her to bed she handed Huck a beer.

"You mind?" She said picking up the remote control while he shook his head. Liv turned it on to the news and saw exactly what she thought she would. Doting father, the President of the United States getting off Air Force One in London with his three kids after spending a few days with them at an unknown location. They had said their goodbye at the Tarmac. A car had come to pick up Gerry and Karen to take them home. It was hard to miss the love between the four of them. There was no fabricating the bond they shared. After hugging his kids goodbye, Fitz and Teddy walked up the stairs of Air Force One bound for home. Fitz stopped at the top as he always did to wave. Fitz turned his head and looked right into the camera and Olivia's heart skipped a beat knowing he was looking at her. As he smiled, she read the sadness in his eyes. She knew it was sadness from having to say goodbye to his kids, her and Bellie knowing it would be awhile till he saw them all again. Liv swallowed the familiar lump in her throat trying to hold it together. Huck got up and placed a hand on her shoulder before heading back to his place knowing she needed the time alone to process. Olivia loved that he knew her so well. Olivia turned the TV off and headed to bed. Just as she had changed into her PJ's the phone rang,

"Hey you," she answered knowing it would be him.

"Hi Baby..."


	14. Cracks

Olivia smiled when she saw the face that flashed on her FaceTime.

"Hi Baby, how was school?"

"It was okay," Teddy replied. Since their visit he was another Grant kid that checked in with her. By the time he'd come home from school Bellie would already be asleep. On weekends she let Bellie stay up till she spoke with him, but on week days they made do with iMessage. There was a small window in the afternoons before Teddy went to school and Bellie was just finishing. The window was so small that even if they got to talk it was a hi and bye which for them seemed to be enough.

"Are you excited for your field trip tomorrow?" Teddy nodded enthusiastically his face suddenly beaming. Olivia couldn't help but notice just how much he looked like Fitz with his unruly curly hair and dimples to die for, she couldn't help but love him even more than she already did.

"Daddy's going to come,"

"I know sweetheart, he's very excited to go." Teddy began to tell her about the rest of his day. A few minutes later his nanny came into his room with his snack which he usually took to the oval to have with Fitz if he wasn't in a meeting.

"Go have your snack with Daddy buddy, I'll talk to you tomorrow. Love you little man."

"Love you too." He said waving before he disappeared.

"Kid number four?" Abby asked knowingly as she walked into the kitchen where Olivia was preparing Bellie's lunch for the following day.

"If by number four you mean technically three by birth, yes. And stop that," she said swatting Abby's thieving hands. Abby grinned and grabbed another couple of carrot sticks and stuck her tongue out at Liv.

"Hey, the more you take the less you have in your lunchbox,"

"Awww Mom," she whined making Olivia laugh.

"So how goes the First Family DC branch?"

"Same old same old. Hey did you get a cryptic email from Harrison? He says he's coming but no mention of Lindsay."

"Yes, I've been meaning to call you all day about it but its been crazy at work. I have a theory." Olivia laughed, Abby did have a nose for being a sleuth, and the flair for the dramatics.

"Well share!"

"I think they finally did the nasty,"

"Oh ewww " Huck said walking into the kitchen in that same moment.

"Seriously, you're a grown up." Abby reminded him.

"It's not so much the content but the subjects. Dude they're family."

"Alright corners you two. Lets say that is what that is, why would he be having a meltdown?" Olivia asked confused.

"It's been about ten years pending. Maybe he's just freaked out that it's not as perfect as he imagined it would be."

"It's never perfect, whatever the circumstance. There's no such thing." Liv said knowingly.

"Well you can talk him off his ledge when he arrives tomorrow."

"So he's just left Lindsay there? Uh uh not on. Call her and ask her what she's up to. I don't want her thinking we're picking sides. We're family."

"I'll call her when I get home," Huck promised. He's always had a soft spot for Lindsay.

"And where are you off to?" Abby asked with a grin. Huck merely rolled his eyes without answering and headed out the door waving.

"That wasn't an answer Huckleberry!" Abby called out after him.

"You do remember the he once was a spy right so annoying him probably isn't the smartest thing you can do." Abby shrugged,

"He'd miss me far too much to kill me." Abby answered confidently.

"So tell me what's new in the world of Grant? Any news on what the wife has over him that he hasn't been able to divorce her ass all this time?"

"Honestly, for the most part it's Bellie. He doesn't want to drag her through the scandal. We've gotten this far with sparing her that if all she's asking is till the end of his term then really what's a few more months. She's been squeaky clean Abby and you know that can only mean she's hiding something epic. Until we figure that out we have nothing on her. Which means we play by the rules. At the same time as long as she does right by my kid, I really don't want to know. But if she goes after my kid after everything we've sacrificed I wouldn't hire a hit man, I'd do it myself." Olivia promised.

"There'd be a long line and it would be the best cover up in the history of cover ups." Olivia chuckled but was well aware that Abby wasn't kidding. Bellie had to be the most loved kid by the best group of misfits in the world. What Huck alone would do for Bellie, for her, for any of them was limitless.

"Hey Beautiful,"

"Hey, how was your day?" She asked as she took the extra pillows off her bed to get into bed.

"Busy. You?"

"Same old."

"What's on for the weekend?"

"Harrison's coming for the weekend. Gerry has a deadline so he won't be here this weekend. Karen has an audition on Saturday but she has exams in a couple of weeks so she's coming home mid week next week so she can just study. She's under the impression Bellie is quieter than Gerry." Fitz laughed,

"She is."

"You're in for a shock. You ready for Teddy's excursion tomorrow?"

"Hershey Factory with 7 year olds is going to be a piece of cake in comparison to the G8."

"True. Teddy is really excited that you'll be there with him."

"I know, I got the excited chatter over milk and cookies this afternoon."

"Enjoy it while you can, they grow up so fast." She said wistfully. She loved all four Grant kids, but a part of her wished that she and Fitz actually got to raise one together. That part of her dream for her life with Fitz was fast diminishing if not completely diminished. She wasn't sure she could do the all nighters and running around anymore. Or if even she could still conceive and carry full term. The older she got each passing day made conceiving difficult if not risky. It made her sad that it was something they hadn't shared. They raised their kids separately and sometimes Olivia found herself staring at the families who had a mommy and a daddy who did it together. It made her cherish Bellie even more knowing how lucky she was to have been blessed by her, even if it was unexpected.

"Liv, sweetheart." Fitz repeated realising that she had zoned out.

"Sorry, it's been a long day." She said not wanting him to pry about what she was thinking. Fitz knew where her mind had wandered. He'd always known she wanted a big family. Being an only child she craved the noise of a house full of children, which is why he knew she loved having Gerry and Karen over most weekends. But he he knew it was more than that. She began to grieve the life they never got. The years that they lost. The children they never got to conceive and raise together. The closer to the end his term they got the more questions and doubts arose. He knew she questioned if it was as easy as his term finishing up and his divorce with Mellie being finalized. That she wondered if their love would conquer all or had they merely overestimated it. He knew that her greatest fear was that they had.

"Isn't Bellie's dance this weekend?" He asked changing the subject from the silent conversation they were having,

"Um yeah. Stevie flies in tomorrow morning and he's going to pick her up from school and have one of their infamous dates that usually ends with a sugar induced stomachache. I have a few meetings in the afternoon, so does Abby, and Huck's working so it's good timing." Between Abby, Huck, Stephen, Harrison and Lindsay they were all able to cover all of Bellie's events and commitments from Doctor's appointments, dentists, dance rehearsals, violin lessons, they all worked like a well oiled machine so that her daughter would never want or need for anything.

"The Dance is on Sunday night, with Harrison coming tomorrow and hopefully Lindsay at some point, we can just get some hang time in. Tomorrow is pizza night and Saturday Abby and I will cook up a storm."

Olivia had consciously avoided the topic of the Father and daughter dance as it was a fairly sore point for both Father and Daughter. As happy and grateful as Bellie was to have her Godfather step in, it wasn't quite the same, especially when she knew that her father was going to the Hershey Factory with her brother and his whole class and nobody could even know who her Dad was let along actually participate in her life. Olivia could sense that Fitz was going to struggle with Bellie especially as she was naturally independent. That aside she had also learned not to count on him. As it was their phone conversations were getting shorter and it was hard to be Daddy's Girl when Daddy wasn't around. She didn't doubt he loved her, but she didn't have that blind faith in him that Karen did, or even Gerry and Teddy did. All Isobel Grace Pope knew was that she was her mother's world and she was surrounded by all the love she needed. There was no resentment just acceptance.

"I wish I could go. I wish I could be there." Olivia sighed,

"I know. So does she. Don't worry you guys will get your chance," she was trying to placate him and he knew it. Bellie was at her most impressionable years not to mention fairly logical, the fact that he hasn't been to one birthday, one special event in her life just made her very matter of fact that until she saw him she didn't believe him. It broke Olivia's heart but trust had to be earned and Fitz had his work cut out for him.

"She stopped calling me Daddy Liv," Olivia cringed, she had noticed that too and had hoped he hadn't. Karen at twenty still called him Daddy, but she didn't live her life hidden from the world, nor did she have to contend with broken promises at such an early age.

"She's growing up Fitz. It's a phase."

"You don't believe that as much as you want to."

"Don't do that. Don't speak for me, and don't box your daughter in. She's six and she's becoming her own person. I understand that you're scared that you don't have a place but you're her Dad. You've never been less than that, but you can't expect her to be like Karen, or Gerry, or Teddy. They've had the liberty of growing up with you there. They got to be with 'daddy', to Bellie you're Daddy by association. You're Karen, Gerry and Teddy's daddy, who got to be in every single picture with them at their birthday parties, school plays, baseball and basketball games. You can't grieve to lose a title that she never truly felt the revelation of."

"I'm sorry Liv,"

"I know. It's been a long day and I'm exhausted."

"Get some rest Livi I'll talk to you tomorrow. Love you, night!."

"Night Fitz,"

As badly as she felt for Fitz he had to realise that it wasn't going to be an easy road. There was no question that they loved him but eight years was a long time to be waiting for something that she still wasn't sure was going to eventuate.

Fitz knew that if he and Liv were going to work he had his work cut out for him. There was no questioning her love for him. She had waited, despite his short comings she wanted him. Enough to wait the eight years. Years she could have been perfectly happy elsewhere. Not that she put her life on hold for him, she didn't but she did keep a light on for him.

He also knew that Bellie was slowly slipping from his grasp, despite his best efforts, she barely if ever let her guard down with him. It was one thing to be in the same room with her, but when he was gone, she was completely closed off. Like she didn't trust him. He counted the days till he could just be with them to finally quash the doubts they'd had to deal with for so long.


	15. We're done

To say that things were a little strained between Fitz and the Pope girls would be an understatement. As hard as Liv tried to be neutral she couldn't ignore the unasked and unanswered questions that lay beneath her daughter's eyes. Olivia felt that she had done her daughter such disservice by inadvertedly waiting for Fitz. She hadn't set out to. She managed to date in the last few years but there was never anyone that she felt enough for to introduce to their family fold. She was very careful who came and went into Bellie's life.

Ever since the father and daughter dance Bellie had completely withdrawn from Fitz. She conveniently missed calls and when she was forced to answer them their conversations were mostly one sided and answers to his questions. Olivia knew that Fitz was grasping at straws clinging to what was seemingly a lost battle.

"Hey Liv, I'm home." Gerry called out as he entered the house and was met with a loud squeal from his now seven year old little sister. Gerry grinned and dropped his bags on the floor preparing himself for the impact of one Isobel Grace Pope.

"Gerry!"

"Hey Birthday Girl!" He said lifting her off the ground as she wrapped her arms and legs around him.

"I've missed you."

"I've missed you too Monkey. I'm sorry work's been crazy I haven't been home for a little while."

"That's okay. I'm just glad you're here."

"I'd never miss your birthday. I haven't missed one in six years have I? Now would I miss your seventh birthday?" Olivia tried to wave and signal for him to choose another sentence. As soon as the words were out he realised what she was trying to say.

"Thanks Ger." Bellie said giving him another squeeze before hopping out of his arms.

"Sorry Liv, I wasn't thinking." Gerry apologized after Bellie ran to the backyard to help Abby set up for her birthday party.

"It's okay Gerry. She's just a little sensitive about your Dad never actually being present for any of her big events and honestly I can't blame her. I can tell her till I'm blue in the face that your Dad would be here in a heartbeat if he could,"

"But he hasn't made it to anything of hers since she was born." He said completing her sentence.

"I barely get it and I'm a grown up. How do I explain it to a seven year old?" Olivia looked away momentarily lost in her thoughts,

"We can't keep doing this Ger, I don't know what to do but I know we can't keep going this way. She's the most important person in my life and it kills me to see her happy one minute and plummet the next. Her mood nosedives the moment that phone rings Ger. It's like it triggers a voice in her head that reminds her that she's not worthy. I know your Dad means well and he loves and misses her but right now his phone calls equates to rubbing salt to the wound." Gerry knew that it was starting to take its toll on Olivia as well. He could see that she was exhausted. With only six months of his Dad's term left they were so close but looking at Liv and seeing the sudden change in Bellie he wasn't sure if it was all worth it. He knew that Olivia was doing her best to be the bridge between the growing distance between his little sister and their Dad. He couldn't blame her or Liv knowing that they had gotten the rotten end of the deal.

"Liv, you know whatever you decide, I got your back. You will always have my support." He promised pulling her into his arms and hugging her tightly.

"Mommy," Bellie called out from the backyard,

"Thanks Ger," Olivia said wiping away the tear that escaped before joining the others at the back.

"What's up sweetheart?" Liv asked as she reached them,

"Look Hucky finished the balloons,"

"Oh wow," Olivia gasped. Bellie had asked for colorful balloons, colorful balloons Huck delivered. There were bouquets of balloons weighed down by dancing flowers all around their backyard, but what took her breath away was the the balloons that floated from a non existent ceiling. Huck had managed to install a marquee and fill it with what looked like hundreds if not thousands of balloons. He had hung lanterns all around the marquee for when it got dark,

"Wow Huck, it's amazing." Bellie's arms were wrapped around Huck's middle,

"Thank you Hucky!" Huck looked down at her and smiled. All he wanted was to see her happy and just like Liv he struggled to see her unhappy. When he lifted his gaze he was met by Liv's grateful look. He shrugged nonchalantly, she knew that seeing the smile on her daughters face was all the thank you that he wanted.

For all the obvious reasons Fitz couldn't be there for Bellie's birthday party. The fact that he was also in the middle of negotiations with East Sudan prevented him from just stealing away to be there on the day or Bellie's birthday. He had apologized and promised to make it up to her but she barely blinked when he had told her he couldn't make another birthday. The pause on the other side of the line screamed that she didn't expect anything less than him being absent again.

He knew that he had pushed Olivia to her limit, she made a point of supporting him and showing a united front with Bellie, but she too was slipping from his grasp. He knew that she was at her wits end and that his missing their daughter's birthday was another door he managed to close. His heart ached at the thought that when everything was finally over, they would no longer be there waiting for him and rightfully so.

"Hey Liv,"

"Hey," she answered clearly distracted. She was in the middle of ushering guests in the door.

"I can't talk, party just started."

"I was hoping to wish Bellie a happy birthday." Liv gestured for Abby to take over the door as she slipped into her study to continue their conversation,

"Her friend's just arrived Fitz, and frankly I want her to enjoy her birthday party and if the last couple of months of phone calls between you are to go by, it'll just throw her mood, and you know what, it's her birthday so I think she gets a pass. Call tomorrow. I'll tell her later that you called and if she wants to call you back she can."

"Liv,"

"No, I'm done with this Fitz. I know I said we'd wait, but my daughter's happiness and well being is more important and I already feel like I've done irreversible damage to her. Because I love you I compromised her. By me hanging on to whatever this is she's had to grow up feeling like she's second best, that she's not as important and I hate myself for that Fitz. So I'm done. I don't want to do this anymore. Whatever happens from here is her choice. If she doesn't want to take your calls anymore she doesn't have to. If she doesn't want to see you, she doesn't have to. I'm done. We're done. Don't come. You swooping in wont make this better. This is not something you can put a band aid on. This isn't a ploy for one of your grand gestures. Lets face it, if you really wanted this, you had plenty of opportunities to make it happen, now it's too late Fitz. We're done waiting." Without waiting for him to reply Olivia hung up leaving his stunned and panicked. Olivia took a deep breath and counted to ten before leaving the study not taking her phone. She was still shaking when she got to the backyard. Immediately Gerry sensed that something was wrong and walked over to her.

"Please, not now." She begged knowing that she could crack at any moment and she would rather it not be during her daughters birthday party.

"Sure Liv," he said taking one of her hands and giving it a reassuring squeeze before joining Bellie and her friends currently playing Twister in the middle of the backyard.

Despite all the emotions that Olivia was battling with internally she managed to hide it well enough for all of them to be able to enjoy the party immensely. As she looked around the backyard that afternoon Bellie was surrounded by those who have loved her from conception. Stephen, Georgia, Harrison and Quinn had all flown in for the occasion. Abby and Huck who were a part of her every day life. All three Grant kids were there too. Karen had flown to the States specifically to pick up Teddy so he could be with them. She knew that her daughter was not lacking in love, but she also knew that her daughter felt the absence of her father equated to his lack of love for her. Her lack of importance in his life in comparison to his other children. It was the price she paid for the anonymity they wanted her to have to protect her from labels they didn't want her to have to live by.

"Penny for your thoughts," Olivia looked up sheepishly,

"Hey, they're truly worth more than that." She protested as Wes chuckled. Ambassador Wesley Cooper was who she moved to France for. She was grateful for the career opportunity he had given her, but also the escape she needed all those years ago. As Fitz's term drew to a close, so did his. In the last five years that she had spent in France to work for him they had become good friends. Outside her gladiator family he was her closest confidant. When she needed someone who wasn't so part of her complicated world he was her sanctuary. He challenged her, made her laugh and more importantly he was uncomplicated and in her life full of complications, she needed that. He was the only one who she had allowed into her family world. He was the only one who knew Bellie's true paternity and had been instrumental in ensuring that she was safe from scandal and intrigue.

"Five years has certainly flown by hasn't it?" He stated as they sat side by side on her porch watching the festivities before them.

"It certainly has. I have to say I have loved every minute of it. I'm sorry it's ending."

"Well we haven't talked about it for awhile but have you thought about what you want to do next? Are you going to head back to the US?"

"I doubt it. This is home. This is the only home Bellie remembers and she loves it here. I think we'll be here for a little while longer. I was offered a teaching job at the university and I'm considering it. How about you?"

"I've been weighing out my options,"

"Home for political aspirations or... ?" She prompted,

"Staying here and taking something less public and settling down locally. Sarah and I talked about it, this is the only home she remembers and uprooting her when she clearly doesn't want to go seems cruel somehow." Sarah was his seven year old daughter who Bellie had grown up with and had gone to school with since they moved to Paris. The two were inseparable and the best of friends.

"Well Bellie will be ecstatic to hear you guys won't be going anywhere. I have to say I am too. I didn't want to imagine what it would be like enduring ballet lessons, school plays and parent teacher nights without you." Wes had lost his wife the year before he moved to France leaving him to raise their daughter in his own. He and Olivia immediately hit it off and having daughters the same age had cemented their bond. They each regarded the other's child with the same love and attention as their own.

"Admittedly I couldn't imagine starting all over again and not having you there to talk me off ledges." Olivia grinned and replied,

"Me too."

"Mommy can Sarah sleep over?" Bellie asked running over with Sarah in tow. It wasn't an uncommon request between the two girls,

"As long as its okay with her Daddy."

"Please Uncle Coop?" Bellie pleaded,

"Like I can ever say no to that face," he answered giving her a consenting nod. Bellie threw her arms around his neck and hugged him gratefully before she and Sarah returned to her party.

"Don't you smirk at me, as if you would have been able to say no if the shoe was on the other foot," he said nudging her with his shoulder making her laugh trying to push the overwhelming sadness in her heart that her daughter was so uninhibited with him but felt so estranged and guarded with her own father.

"Pope?" Wes said softly coaxing out of her thoughts,

"I told him we were done. That I didn't want to do this anymore. That we were done waiting for something that feels like will never be. That I didn't want Bellie to keep feeling like she's been feeling."

"Wow," he exhaled in surprised. She had confided in him about Bellie, and he had jumped on board without being asked to as an extra pair of hands, ears and arms for her, but then again he had been on board the moment he and Sarah had picked them up from the airport that first night they arrived. He knew how much Olivia loved Fitz and though she never consciously put her life on hold, she was extremely selective on who got to be a part of her world. He deduced it was in part to keep Bellie's anonymity in tact. She was after all a spitting image of her father.

"How'd he take it?"

"I don't know. I sort of did a hit and run," she answered guiltily biting her lower lip,

"Liv, you know you can't leave it there and chances are he's hopped into his helicopter and on his way here."

"I know but he caught me off guard. I did tell him not to come and that no grand gesture was going to placate me. I'm pretty sure he'd at least give it a day of two. I'll call him tonight and do it properly, without you know, seething from anger and disappointment."

"Good luck with that. Are you sure this is what you want?"

"What I want is to be able to look at my daughter, into her eyes and not see the questions that torture her in them. I failed her Coop."

"Liv, you didn't fail her. That child wants for nothing,"

"Except for the one thing I can't give her."

"She'll understand the whole picture when she's bigger Liv. I know it's hard now but she'll get it one day. She'll understand why you did what you did."

"In the meantime do I just let them drift further apart?"

"He needs to keep working for her regardless how hard she pushes. She doesn't have to take his calls, but he needs to keep calling so she knows he's still there. How they end up is on him. Not on her and especially not on you. He may love you both and I have no doubt that man breathes for the day you can be together but he needs to work for her and for you. You both deserve nothing less. The ball is in his court but you need to talk him properly, none of this drop a bomb and run. You need to ask yourself what you want too? I think you really need to think about what you truly want and be ready for the answer, that it may or may not be what you wanted or expected."

"It really frustrates me when you're so logical." She muttered as he laughed heartily.

"It's what friends are for Pope." He replied dropping his lips to her head before standing to his feet.

"Excuse me I believe there's a cotton candy with my name on it,"

"Man child," she teased smiling.

"And proud of it." He retorted proudly.

At the end of an incredibly exhausting day Olivia put a very happy birthday girl to bed with her best friend and brother in the fort that Gerry and Huck had constructed under their formal dining room table. When she was putting away Bellie's clothes in her room Olivia's eyes fell on the count down calendar that Bellie once crossed off religiously with excitement. It hadn't been updated in months and had been partially covered with a picture of Bellie and Stephen at the father daughter dance they had attended together. Somehow Olivia knew that wasn't coincidental. Sighing she grabbed the phone from its cradle,

"Liv," he answered in one ring as though he had been sitting there all day waiting for her phone call.

"Hey," he heard the exhaustion in her voice and he knew it wasn't just from running around all day for a seven year old's birthday party.

"How was it?"

"It was great, she had a great time. Huck outdid himself with delivering a room full of balloons as she requested. Gerry was the official photographer of the day and he said he'll send them to you tonight before he goes to bed. He and Karen are currently sitting around the campfire toasting marshmallows in the backyard."

"I'm glad she had a great time. Liv,"

"I meant what I said earlier Fitz. I just didn't want to leave it the way I did. I don't want to do this anymore Fitz."

"Livi, we're almost there." He pleaded,

"And then what?"

"We can be together."

"I don't know if that's what I want anymore." She confessed. Fitz closed his eyes and rubbed his temples with his fingers,

"I don't doubt you love us, I know you do. I'm not sure if that's going to be enough. The last eight years tells me it's not. It never has been, and it probably never will be. I know you blame me for that plan we concocted to cover that tape all those years ago, but Fitz even back then you had the choice to not go along with Mellie's suggested plan and you did so willingly and you blamed me for it and to this day you hold it over my head as though we held a gun to your head. You finished your first term and you could have walked away and instead of making that decision on your own you needed for me to tell you not to do it which I was never going to do. This is your life's ambition and what you've worked all your life for and that's important. Just admit that being president was more important."

"No, if you asked me to walk away from it all I would have."

"Why should I have had to ask you? If its something that was burning in your gut then you wouldn't have needed any confirmation. You would have just made that decision on your own. This love affair of ours comes with a price I'm no longer willing to pay Fitz." She said apologetically and exhaustedly.

"Liv, I love you. I want to be with you and Bellie and finally be a family."

"And I love you, but that's not enough anymore."

"What can I do?"

"Let me go. Bellie will come around, where your relationship goes will be up to you. If you want to remain in her life work for it. She's still so little and she'll come around if she sees that you never wavered."

"And us?"

"What us Fitz? Our collection of stolen moments filled with secrets and lies? From hotel hallways, dark corners, to weekends in Paris. And then you leave and it's like we press pause until you press play again. While you and your wife raise America's baby together and planning for his future. It feels like I'm holding my breath till you appear again, like a statue waiting for something that's never going to happen. Stolen moments aren't a life and I'm done waiting. If I'm going to end up alone, I'm going to do it on my own terms. I'll get Bellie to call you tomorrow."

"Livi..."


	16. All in

"Hey Liv, it's Ger. We seem to be playing phone tag. I'm sorry we keep missing each other. I miss you. I'm hoping to be home this weekend. Sure could use a weekend with my favourite Pope girls. Call me! Love you Liv, to the moon and back."

"Hi Momma Bear! Just running from one class to another. I got your voicemail. Thank you for readily being there to talk me off my ledges. Please remind me whose bright idea it was to do a double major and if it is me and I am pretty sure it is, smack me when you finally see me. Ugh! My brain hurts and I'm tired and I miss you and the little munchkin. Gerry and I are aiming to be home this weekend provided he doesn't get called into work again and this next class I have doesn't declare a pop quiz for next week. Here's hoping! Love you, to the moon and back Liv. Always!"

"Hi Livvie, it's Teddy. I just got home from school and I wanted to tell you that I got an award. I got it for the report you helped me with. Daddy said I that you and I did such a great job that he'll take us all out for ice cream. I gotta go Liv, going to have a snack with Daddy. Love you Liv, to the moon and back."

"Ms Pope, this is Doctor Reed's office confirming your appointment for three this afternoon. If this is not suitable for you, please let us know, otherwise we will see you this afternoon."

Olivia sighed. That last message dampened that happiness she felt from the previous messages.

"You know you're going to have to tell them eventually." Abby said gently handing Olivia a mug of peppermint tea.

"I tell them, he finds out, he'll come and he'll never leave." Olivia said simply.

"Is that why you told him you weren't going to wait anymore?" Olivia shrugged her shoulders,

"Liv, he deserves to know. They all do."

"I know that Abby, I do. I just don't know how to do it. He only has a few months left, if I tell him now, if I told him before he would have thrown it all in to be here, at all cost. I couldn't let him do that."

"Liv, if Gerry and Karen end up coming home this weekend he's going to know and he's going to flip. They're all going to lose it."

"I know Abby. It's all a jumble in my head and I've tried to just do what I thought was best for everyone and I think I just screwed it up even more. Abby what if I screwed it up and I don't have time to fix it. I have to fix it between Bellie and Fitz, because if I'm gone she's going to need him." Olivia said breaking down sobbing. Abby closed the distance between them and drew Olivia into her arms.

"Liv, I get what you were trying to do, but if you wait for him to finish his term, he'll never forgive you for robbing him of the option of being with you."

"After everything I can't just throw this on the table."

"Love forgives all things remember?"

"I screwed up Abby, I screwed up big." Abby took the phone and handed it to her.

"Fix it. You're a fixer. Fix it." Abby placed a hand on Olivia's shoulder and gave it a supportive squeeze before leaving her in the kitchen to do what she needed to.

"Liv?" Fitz answered uncertainly. It has been months since she had called him. Though they spoke somewhat sporadically, there was a distance between them that he couldn't quite lessen.

"Hey," she said softly and somewhat brokenly,

"Livi, what happened? Is Bellie okay?" He asked panicked.

"Bellie is fine Fitz."

"Then what's wrong sweetheart?" He asked tenderly with so much concern and compassion that Olivia broke into incoherent sobs,

"Baby you're scaring me," Fitz said standing to his feet ready to call for his helicopter,

"I'm so sorry." She began,

"I screwed up. I'm so sorry Fitz. I'm sorry for taking Isobel so far away, for robbing you of the opportunity to be with her. I'm sorry that I've used her as an excuse to allow me to keep running from you because I was too scared to love you and be completely in. I'm sorry that I'm the one that is always running and demanding you follow and get frustrated when you don't. I love you. I've always loved only you. I will only love you. I'm sorry that I've always put a condition in our love. Fitz I'm sorry."

"Hey, hey honey it's okay. I understood. I've always understood. Whether you believed it or not, I believed we were end game and that was always my goal. As soon as they've elected a new president I will be there at your doorstep till you let me in."

"I don't deserve you," she said in a whisper,

"Liv, what's wrong?" He asked alarmed. Something in his gut stirred and it scared him.

"Can I see you? We need to talk. Face to face. I'll come to you."

"Of course."

"Let me work out a couple of things here and I'll call you back with time and place?"

"Sure sweetheart."

Fitz started pacing. He tried to so hard to keep calm when he was talking to her but he was unraveling with worry. He was contemplating calling Gerry to suss out whether he knew anything but didn't want to worry him. Knowing that if he knew anything Gerry would have told him already. He also knew that both Gerry and Karen hadn't been home to Paris for a few weeks but still spoke to Olivia throughout the day.

Olivia knew she couldn't skip her doctors appointment so she had called to move it forward so that she could be on a flight to DC by noon. She had taken Bellie to school and told her that she was going on a business trip and would be back the following day. Bellie who was well aware of what was going on with her was hesitant to part with her mother.

"Baby, Mommy will be back tomorrow."

"I love you Mommy,"

"Oh sweetheart, I love you to the moon and back."

Olivia fidgeted the whole way to DC, her mind raced. Despite how exhausted she felt, she couldn't make herself just rest and reserve the energy she knew she needed to have the conversation she was going to have. By a stroke of luck Mellie was in California, making it easier to show up at the White House without having to run into her.

"Sir, she's here. She's waiting for you at the Rose Garden." Tom said as alerting Fitz of her arrival. Fitz nodded and followed him out. He had spoken to Louise and Cyrus earlier and asked them to clear the rest of his day. He stopped at the top of the hill and watched her for a moment. He hadn't seen her since they said their goodbyes in Paris so many months before when she had promised she would wait for him. He knew that the closer to the end of his term came, the more scared she got. Though Bellie was a huge factor in her adamancy to pull away, he also knew that it was her defense mechanism kicking in. They had come so close so many times, and they never ever got there that she didn't want to finally get to their chance only for it not to work out.

"Livi," he said as he approached her, immediately he could see that something was incredibly wrong. Olivia wiped the tears from her eyes and stood to her feet to greet him.

"Hey Fitz," without hesitation he pulled her into his arms. Olivia habitually moulded into his embrace. His scent, his familiarity, his undeniable love for her was her undoing. Fitz held onto her as she began to shake in his arms,

"Sweetheart, I'm right here."

"I'm so sorry Fitz," she said looking up at him, the sorrow so deep in her eyes that his heart clenched,

"I'm so sorry for everything. I'm sorry I made it so complicated. I'm sorry I kept pushing you away. Most of all, I'm so sorry I stopped fighting for us." Fitz cupped her face with his hand,

"Tell me," he begged. Olivia nodded and stepped out of his embrace,

"I guess I have to start from the beginning. My pregnancy with Bellie was no easy feat. I suffered from severe back pains, and by the last couple of months, I struggled to move around so I was on house arrest and bed rest. Imagine my joy," Fitz smiled and squeezed her hand,

"In the beginning, I thought that she was simply too big for my frame, and that's how we took it. After I had Bellie, they were able to do more tests. Do you remember when Huck came to see you so that you could meet Bellie?" He nodded,

"I was still in hospital then. After the tests, they found a few abnormalities, which only meant more tests. In the end, they found a small tumour in my cervix. At the time, it was small enough so that it was operable." Fitz felt his heart drop to his feet as she began to pace in circles.

"It was small enough that when they took it out, I didn't have to do Chemo, which I really didn't want to do because I didn't want to not breastfeed Bellie."

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked with tears in his eyes,

"Because you let me go. We said our goodbyes, and I didn't want you to come back because of that."

"Liv, I would have been there because I love you, not because I felt obligated to." Olivia stopped walking only long enough to say,

"I know that now, at the time I wasn't so sure. I thought I had finally pushed you to your limit and you wanted us to finally be over. Anyway, every year I get tested, and for the most part in the last eight years, the tumor has only re-appeared a couple of times, and each time, they were small enough to be operable. Before you ask, it was during the time when we weren't really talking. It was about a year after we got to Paris. It was during the summer so Gerry was home with you guys, and I was fine by the time he returned with Karen in tow as she began her University stint in London. Bellie, though still little was aware of what was happening, and I explained it as best as I could to her, not wanting to hide it from her. I wanted her to be prepared always. The next time they found something,"

"Was right after I left after I came back from Paris." He completed.

"Bellie wasn't angry at you. She was angry I was sick. She was angry at me. But it was easier for her to be angrier at you because you were so far away. It was easier for her to be angrier at you because you weren't around. Which is something I've only recently figured out. All this time I thought she acted out because you weren't around, only to realize that she aimed all her anger at you so that she couldn't be angry at me for being sick, because she wasn't sure if I was going to come out on the other side. I'm sorry Fitz. I should have known. It's quite sobering to realize all that you did to protect your daughter ended up the very thing that made her undone, and broke her. For someone so little, she's had to visit me at the hospital one too many times, and have had to watch me recover from a painful surgery twice now."

"Liv, I understand why she'd be angry. To her I abandoned you, and her."

"I talked to her, I explained to her that you weren't around not because of your job, or because you didn't want to, it's because I never told you I was sick."

"You should have told me Liv,"

"I know, and I'm sorry. I knew the moment I told you, you'd throw the towel in and come to Paris."

"Of course I would have."

"I didn't want you to leave your presidency in a scandal and tarnish your legacy. You have worked far too hard, and sacrificed so much and I didn't want it to end like that for you. You only had months left,"

"You infuriate me!" Fitz said frustrated as he began to pace, the irony almost made her chuckle.

"You and I both know if I didn't you would adored me as much,"

"Liv," he said standing still to look at her. She knew what he was asking and sighed. Feeling the energy drain immediately she took a seat on the second last step. Fitz walked over to where she was to join her. He took her hand in his and gave it a squeeze.

"After Bellie's birthday, I had another surgery. While I was under they found a couple more that they removed, so that time around I had to have Chemo." Wordlessly Fitz draped an arm around her and pulled her to his chest. It explained the fragility she had about her that was never there before.

"Because they were able to remove the tumours completely the chemo wasn't as aggressive. It's main side effects on me was that it just completely drained me. My last treatment was a couple of months ago. I had my check before I flew here to see you."

"Liv,"

"It seems the chemo has helped but not as much as they had hoped. They've also found a couple more and before they spread to organs, they want to remove my ovaries and do hardcore chemo radiotherapy. It's going to be a fight Fitz." Fitz kneeled in front of her and took her face in his hands,

"Then you fight. We can do this together."

"Fitz,"

"No Liv, we're in this together. I love you. You and the kids are what matters the most to me, legacy be damned this presidency will not keep me from being with you through this."

"You wonder why I hesitated to tell you." She said dryly,

"Too bad."

"Fitz,"

"Come home," he begged bringing his forehead to hers.

"I can't have you so far away during this."

"Fitz, I can't just up and leave. Bellie has a whole life in Paris, I can't uproot her and drag her here, to watch me get sick. At least there she has friends, a support system."

"Then I'll come to Paris. We can let the world know who you are to me. I don't care, I've never cared." Olivia took his face with both hands,

"Fitz, baby you're wigging."

"Please Liv,"

"Let me talk to Bellie okay? Whatever we decide, we'll do it as a family. All of us. Gerry and Karen will be coming tomorrow for the weekend. I had planned to tell them then." Fitz held her so tightly against him that she could barely breathe and yet it didn't feel tight enough.

"Fitz, I want to say hi to Teddy but I need to catch a flight back tonight to be back in Paris for Bellie. I told her I'd be back tomorrow. I promised. She's been really clingy the last few months, understandably so, and I don't want to worry her."

"I've spoken to Cyrus, he's covering for me for a few days. I told him I needed to spend time with you whether it be here or Paris. He's made all the arrangements. We're flying in my private plane with Teddy, Tom and Jack. No arguments. I want to be there when you tell Gerry and Karen. I want to be there for Bellie."

"No arguments here. Can I ask where the world will think you are?"

"Visiting my children. Whilst there I'll come down with the bad case of the flu unable to return to the White House."

"And Mellie?" She asked carefully,

"Will deal with the fact that as soon as I come back from Paris I will announce to the world that we are divorced." Olivia looked up at him,

"You did a whole lot of apologizing earlier and most of it was valid but with good reason." Fitz took a deep breath,

"You were right. I had several chances to just walk away and I certainly loved you enough to do it, and you know that it killed me to be so far away from you and Bellie and missing out on her growing up, but you were right Liv, l would always wonder if I could have made more of a difference and had I done everything I could for what I had in my hand. You would have seen right through me and though my love for you, for Bellie and for the life we could have had is immeasurable we wouldn't have survived the what if's that would be going through both of our minds. It would have torn us apart. More than anything I didn't want to be a man that you couldn't be proud of, and stepping down would be quitting and you are right we have all sacrificed far too much for me to just quit. I missed your pregnancy, I missed Bellie's christening, I've missed every single birthday she's ever had, I missed her first Father and daughter dance. I missed her first steps, her first words, her every first up to this point. I will never be able to make that up to her but I will spend the rest of my life trying. I guess what I'm saying is, I'm sorry too."

"We knew it would be impossible the moment we stood in that hallway, but normal is overrated."

"I'm ready to tell the world. I will not be on the other side of the world denying my love for you while you go through this. Bellie needs to know once and for all that she's my daughter and that I am willing to tell the world about her because I love her and her mother."

"Okay," she said softly.

"Okay?" He asked surprised,

"Okay. It scares me, but after everything Mellie, the American public and possible scandal is not my greatest worry. I think it'd be good for Bellie to know that you're wanting everyone to know who her father is. If we're going to do this we do it as a family. We'll talk to the kids and as long as they're all for it, then we make plans on how to do this."

"So we're in this together?"

"Yes, we're in this together and I promise not to bolt this time." Fitz dropped his lips to her head and hugged her tightly.

*** thanks for all your feedback...I hope this fills in thas blanks. ***


	17. Full disclosure

"Mommy!" Isobel greeted as Olivia entered her front door.

"Hello my sweet little girl." Taking her daughter into her arns and hugging her tightly.

"Mommy's missed you so much."

"How about us? Did you miss us too?" Gerry asked coming from the other room closely followed by a beaming Karen.

"My other two monkeys! I'm so happy to have you home. I've really missed you." She confessed as she hugged them hello.

"I actually have a surprise for all three of you. I picked up something in my trip that I know you all love,"

"Ice cream?" Bellie guessed enthusiastically bringing out a hearty laugh from Olivia,

"Even better, come on in." She called out towards the door. All three Grant childten gasped at the sight of their father. Gerry and Karen immediately flew into his outstretched arms.

"Dad, what are you doing here?" Gerry asked. Fitz looked at Liv and down at Bellie who remained by her mother's side looking uncertain. For the moment he chose to ignore the question,

"Hi Baby, do you have a hug for Daddy?" Bellie looked up at Olivia who gave her an ecouraging nod. Within moments Bellie torpedoed towards him. Fitz readied himself for her impact. He caught her in his arms and hugged her tightly.

"I miss you every second we're apart and I love you more than words can possibly express. I'm so sorry that we spend more time apart than together."

"Oh Daddy, I love you too. I'm so glad you're here." She whispered in his ear. He pulled back to look at her and read the fear behind them.

"Me too baby."

"Where's Teddy?" She asked,

"Finally you look for me. Took you long enough Bellie." Teddy said as he finally entered the door as Bellie grinned. Fitz reluctantly released Bellie from his grasp.

"Anyone else behind that door?" Gerry teased as Teddy and Bellie hugged each other hello.

"Not that I'm not happy to see you, but what are you doing here Dad?" Gerry repeated, though he hadn't been home for awhile, he was well aware of their current situation. He knew that Liv and Fitz were barely on speaking terms.

"Uh there's something I needed to tell you," Olivia began,

"And there are decisions I wanted to make that affect all of us so I wanted to talk to you about them first." Fitz added walking over to Liv, giving her hand an encouraging squeeze. She smiled at him gratefully as he draped an arm over her shoulder, planting his lips on her temple.

"You go first," she said. Fitz nodded and looked at his eldest kids,

"As you all know your Mom and I have been divorced for a little while now but she has asked that we hold off telling the public till after my term." Gerry and Karen looked at each other knowing that Fitz was sugar coating his words for Teddy.

"I don't want to wait any more. I love Liv and I love Bellie and I want the world to know it once and for all. I've already missed out on so much of Bellie's life but no more. I'm so sorry baby." He said apologetically at Bellie,

"What about?" Gerry asked in half sentence,

"Well thats the part I wanted to talk to you all about first. I want to make a formal statement, about being divorced to your Mom, about Liv being the love of my life, and how out of that love we created you Bellie. As soon as I make that statement the three of you," he said looking at Gerry, Karen and Bellie,

"Will no longer have the liberty of not being in the limelight. Especially you Bellie. Your Mommy brought you to Paris so you can have a normal life, without the cameras, without the reporters. I'm sure Teddy has told you how much he hates it." Bellie nodded,

"Liv and I we want to be together, and for all of us to finally be a family but that will come with a price. It means there will be cameras and reporters following you around. We could probably keep them away from this house but Bellie at school they will be asking you questions the moment they put the pieces together. Everyone will be asking questions. For the most part they're just curious and will mean no harm but some of them might be mean and use words that aren't nice about you and your Mommy. What I want you to know, all of you" he said looking at each of his child and then Liv,

"Whatever they say doesn't matter. What matters is that you know that Liv and I love each other very much but most importantly that we love the four of you up to the moon and back. That you are what's most important to us so if any of you don't want to do this, and for us to just wait we can do that."

"Dad, you know we support you whatever you decide." Karen said speaking up first,

"But this would affect Bellie the most, so for this one its her call."

"And Dad when you make that announcement, I want to stand beside you. I want them to know that we are a united front. That we love Bellie, that she's one of us. That we love Liv like she's our mother." Gerry piped in bringing tears to Olivia's eyes.

"Me too." Karen seconded,

"Me three. Bellie's my sister too and I want her to be able to come to our house whenever she wants to. I want to be able to see her whenever I want to." Teddy pitched his two cents in.

"Bellie sweetheart?" Liv said gently stroking her hair,

"Will you be okay with this?" Bellie asked worriedly. Olivia knew it was a multi faceted question, she caressed her daughters cheek,

"Yeah baby. I think your Daddy should get a chance to show off another one of his remarkable off springs. If you're ready, mommy is ready."

"If you're ready daddy, I'm ready." Isobel said bravely looking at her father. Fitz bent down to pick her up in his arms,

"Then we're doing this, together, as a family."

"So Liv, you have something to tell us?" Gerry reminded her. Olivia took a breath and looked over at Fitz and Bellie who just gave her an encouraging nod.

"I don't know how to say this so I'm just going to come right out and say it. I'm not well. The doctors they did some tests and found that I have cancer." Karen choked in a sob looking frightened while Gerry looked completely in shock. Teddy too small to understand fully the gravity of the situation went from watching his siblings worriedly to watching Olivia's facial expressions.

"You guys I'll be okay. They'll operate and I do intense round of chemotherapy and hopefully I return to remisson."

"You mean this has happened before?" Karen questioned. Liv nodded,

"When? Why didn't you tell us?"

"Because it wasn't a big deal. It still isn't. Seriously I'll be okay."

"Liv, dad's here somehow I don'think its that simple." Gerry pointed out making her chuckle.

"Alright smarty pants its a little more complicated this time around but I'm determined not to let this thing beat me. I have too much to live for. I have all of you." She promised,

"So what's the game plan?" Karen asked jumping on board as she walked over to Liv to wrap her arms around her middle.

"Honestly at the moment its put one foot in front of the other. It sure helps knowing I have guys."


	18. All for one and one for all

To say that the mood was somber in the Pope household that night would be an understatement. Olivia could see that Karen was struggling with the news as was Gerry who was doing his best to be strong for her.

"So what goes on in that mind of yours?" Liv asked Gerry as they loaded up the dishwasher. Gerry shrugged,

"Nothing coherent, which is probably a good thing right now. I just don't want to imagine a life without you in it. Liv you're my go to for everything person. Mine and Karen's, you're the mother we always wished Mom was. You love us so unconditionally and you have always been there without question. I just,"

"Hey hey sweetheart come here," she said pulling him into her arms. Unashamedly Gerry clung to her somewhat desperately,

"I know this is scary but I promise you I am going to fight with everything I have in me. I have way too much to live for."

"I want to be here. I'll work something out with work."

"No, I won't let you put your life on hold because you're scared."

"I can help."

"Sweetheart I have no doubt you can but normalcy is important, for all of us. If the time comes Ger, I promise I will kidnap you from London myself and we can hang till my last breath, but right now we're nowhere near that. I will beat this." She promised.

"I'm going to hold you to that."

"I expect nothing less."

"So he's really going to do this once and for all?"

"He needs to do it for himself and for Bellie." Gerry knew that it was Olivia's way of giving Fitz something he can actively do. So that he would not regret not standing up for their love.

"I see through you,"

"You always have kiddo." She replied placing a hand on his cheek.

"And I don't know what I would have done without you all these years. Bellie wouldnt be Bellie if it weren't for you and for Karen."

"She's taking to him a lot better than I thought she would after everything."

"She's scared and at the end of the day all she ever wanted was to have him around and he's here at a time when everythings so uncertain. That and you know your sister, she's trying to make sure I have one less thing to worry about. To her getting along with your Dad is one less thing I have to worry about."

"Ever the fixer, just like her Mom."

"She may be a Grant through and through but theres some of me in there too." She stated somewhat wistfully.

"Liv, Bellie's been telling people she's apolitical since she was 3 and a half, she may look like a Grant, even sound like one but she's you through and through." Olivia grinned,

"We wouldn't have her any other way." Karen declared as she walked into the kitchen joining them.

"Come here," Olivia said opening her arms out to Karen who walked into them gratefully.

"My sweet sweet girl." She said hugging Karen close and tight against her.

"You haven't called me that since I was little."

"No matter how old you get you will always be my sweet sweet little girl and I love you. Both of you. I need you both to stop worrying. We'll get through this." Gerry and Karen looked at each other and back at Liv nodding.

Fitz had been watching his daughter do her homework for about an hour. After her initial hello she had remained quiet. He knew they still had a long way to go.

"Hey baby, can you come and sit with Daddy for a bit?" Bellie looked up from her homework and nodded walking over to him and letting him pull her to his lap.

"Wanna talk?" Bellie shrugged,

"I'm still mad that you're not around but I'm more mad that Mommy is sick and thats not your fault. Being mad at you makes Mommy sad and I don't want her to be sad anymore so I'm not going to be mad at you anymore." She said somewhat resolved.

"Sweetheart you have every right to be mad at Daddy. He hasn't really been fair with you and I'm sorry sweetheart. I love you so much and I'm going to be better at showing you that."

"I just want Mommy to be okay." Bellie said absently playing with the collar of his shirt.

"Me too."

"When do you have to go?" She asked looking up at him.

"In a few days." He answered apologetically.

"I'm glad you're here now. It makes Mommy happy you're here and it makes my heart not be so scared."

"Me too. Bellie, you know you can call Daddy any time. Especially when you're scared. I'll always be on there." He promised.

"She's going to get sicker, what if she doesn't get better? "

"Sweetheart I wish I could promise you that Mommy is going to be alright but I don't want to make you promises I have no control over. All I promise you is that from this moment on we are going to be a family. Every decision your Mommy and I make you, your brothers and your sister will be a part of it."

"Are you really going to tell everyone about me?"

"Yes sweetheart. Are you okay with that? it would mean that everyone would know who you are and they will probably follow you around with cameras like they do Teddy."

"Will they hate me?" She asked scared. Fitz tightened his arms around his daughter,

"A lot of people will be angry at me for loving your mommy when I am still married to Miss Mellie and it might feel as though they're at angry at you, but sweetheart no one who knows you could ever hate you and people who know you and love you are all that matter."

"Is that why you didnt want to tell anyone about me? Because you didn't want someone to hurt my feelings?"

"Yes, you were still too young to understand and your Mommy and I just wanted to protect you for as long we could. I'm sorry if it felt as though I didn't want to be with you or that I was trying to hide you. I love you sweetheart so much and Daddy is sorry he made you feel as though he didn't." Bellie placed her hand on his cheek,

"It's okay Daddy. I understand now. I promise." She said softly wrapping her arms around his neck. When she pulled back she saw the tears that involuntarily fell from his eyes. She wiped them with her small hands and hugged him once more.

"I love you too Daddy. I always did." She promised.

After clean up and homework, the Pope/Grant clsn reconveined in the kitchen.

"So Dad how are we going to do this?" Gerry asked as he dished out the ice cream.

"I'm going to call your Mom and tell her that I don't want to wait anymore and that I want to announce to the public that we have been divorced for almost a year and separated for longer. If she still contests, I'll announce it on my own. Whether she stands with me to make the announcement I am going to tell the world that Liv is the love of my life and out of that love we created Bellie."

"Well with or without Mom you won't be standing alone. The three of us will be there." Gerry said speaking for Karen, Teddy and himself who were nodding in solidarity.

"And Liv, what's next for you?" He asked taking lead of the conversation they were all trying to break into. Olivia looked at them all. Bellie climbed off Fitz's lap to sit on her mothers. Olivia wrapped her arms securely around Bellie taking comfort in having her so close.

"I have an operation scheduled next week. They're talking of taking out my ovaries if they need to. It's the biggest operation I've had yet and immediately after the operation I have to have chemo. I'll be sicker than I've ever been, but my chances are good after all of it." She said trying to assure them all.

"I have all of you, my chances are great." She added with a brave smile.

"Your Dad wants me to go home to DC but Bellie goes to school here and our whole support system is here. That and you two would only be a couple of hours away so I am more inclined to stay in Paris. What are your thoughts?"

"Any other time I say go home to DC, we would never be a factor. We would go wherever you are if you'd let us. But Dad if all is about to break loose back home maybe it would be better for Liv not to be in the middle of all that." Karen said carefully.

"I've been thinking about that too. As much as I would want to be close by I don't want to add to the stress you're already going to go through. But I will be here for the operation and there after. I'll make it happen somehow. No arguments."

"No arguments here." Olivia said holding her hands up in surrender making him chuckle.

"Liv, Gerry and I have been talking. We're going to be there for the operation. Non negotiable. When chemo starts Gerry is going to take a couples of weeks leave, and then I'm on holidays from school so I'll be here for the second part."

"Guys," Olivia started to protest but Karen cut her off,

"No Liv, whenever Ger and I ever got sick you were the one that nursed us back to health, regardless how old we got. We're family. It's what families do. Please Liv. We wouldnt be able to function worrying all the way from London. At least this way one of us is with you at all times and it would give us a peace of mind knowing that."

"You Grant's don't play fair, you know I can never say no to a determined Grant face." All five Grant's grinned at her.

"Fine, I agree to all terms." She relented.

"And thank you."

"All for one and one for all."


	19. New beginnings

**** Sorry guys still recovering so I'm not sure I truly got to where I wanted to go with this.. ****

As much Olivia hated to do it she sent Fitz home the following day and reluctantly he agreed knowing that he had much to do if he were to return for her surgery.

"Let me tell Cyrus." She said as they said goodbye.

"You sure?" Olivia nodded.

"I owe him that much. Thank you though." Fitz took her face with both hands and leaned his forehead against hers.

"I don't want to leave you."

"I know Baby but you'll be back in a few days. I'll be alright till then. I promise. You'll in no doubt be calling me incessantly till then. Please stop worrying."

"No can do. I'll see you in a few days." Liv rolled her eyes and hugged him tight.

"Bye Baby."

"Bye sweetheart." He said giving her a kiss before reluctantly releasing her.

"Bye Daddy," Fitz picked up his youngest and hugged her.

"Bye Honeybear. You take care of Mommy okay and remember you can call me anytime of day."

"We'll be fine Daddy, don't worry." She said placing a hand on each of his cheek,

"We'll be okay." Bellie promised before giving his cheek a kiss and wrapping her arms around his neck tightly.

Once Fitz was safely in the air with Teddy, Olivia picked up the phone to call Cyrus. She knew that she should have seen him before they left but with everything that she had to tell Fitz and trying to get back to Bellie she never got a chance.

"Hey Kid, I hear you've sent him back. Sick of him already?" He teased making her chuckle.

"Not quite. Hey Cy I have to tell you something and I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to tell you in person,"

"What is it Liv?" He asked worriedly.

"Cy, I have cancer." She heard him gasp and sit down,

"What kind?"

"The kind that has me agreeing to him announcing his divorce before the end of his term and his telling the world of the existence of his youngest daughter."

"That kind," he said letting out a long breath

"Are you okay?"

"Relatively. He wants to be back here for the surgery and I don't have to the heart to tell him no anymore so can you help him with that?" She asked.

"Of course. Was there anything else you needed."

"Just take care of him,"

"Consider it handled. Hey Liv,"

"Yeah Cy,"

"Call if you need anything."

"I will thank you."

As soon as Fitz landed he hit the ground running. He had spoken to Mellie who under circumstances had been somewhat humane and agreed to stand with him as he announced their divorce to the American public.

"I'm really sorry about Liv Fitz,"

"Thank you Mel."

"Well the world knows now."

"That they do." Fitz replied somewhat exhaustedly.

"When do you leave for Paris?"

"I just need to sort out a few things and I'm heading back as soon as I can."

"Teddy wants to go, if you want to take him I won't get in your way."

"I'd like to take him. I think Bellie would feel better having him around."

"Then take him Fitz. He loves Olivia. I'm sorry I stood in your way this past year. In the last eight years really." Mellie apologised regretfully.

"Not that I don't appreciate it but why the change of heart Mel?"

"I met someone Fitz. I used to think you were so foolish about how you felt but I get it now Fitz. You and I loved each other in our own way but..."

"This is different." He finished.

"I get it now and I truly am sorry."

"For what it's worth Mel, I never meant to purposely hurt you."

"I know."

The backlash of his announcement was far less vicious than what he had expected. Perhaps it was the timing of the current elections that made it almost unimportant, whatever it was he was grateful. As far as the world he knew he fell inlove with an incredible woman and they had brought a beautiful little girl in the world. Controlling the narrative he had released a video that was put together by Abby and Huck which featured him with Olivia and all of the kids. It was an amazing montage that captured their family in its truest essence. It left little room to question the bond and love between them all. It made all the difference having Mellie beside him and their standing together as a united front.

"Hi Baby. You okay?" Liv asked.

"Yeah sweetheart, its all thankfully very anti climactic."

"Thank you elections." Olivia said good naturedly.

"It's all in the timing Fitz." She added reassuringly.

"I know. I have a couple of things to sign off on and Teddy and I will be on our way."

"Take your time my love, I'll be here." Liv assured him.

"How are the off springs?"

"Good. Happy to be together. Huck's firing up the barbecue for dinner tonight and he's set up the projector screen outside so we can watch movies and cook smores."

"Sounds fun."

"It will be." Fitz knew she was trying to deflect from the seriousness of the situation by filling it with fun things for the kids so that they wouldn't linger in sadness.

"Anyone camped outside your place?"

"No but apparently at the school and my office from what Coop tells me. I wasn't going to but I did let Bellie stay home from school the rest of the week. She asked to stay home knowing Karen and Ger were going to be here and she literally hasn't left my side since I told her about the operation. Admittedly, I just want to spend time with them, with all of you while I'm not goofed up in meds."

"I spoke to Harrison earlier. I offered him and Lindsay a ride."

"Thank you. I keep telling them that they don't need to make the trip but Harrison won't take no for an answer. Steven and Georgia are arriving the day before the operation."

"All hands on deck."

"Apparently so."

"Hey Mom you ready?" Fitz heard Gerry yell,

"I better go. I'm being summoned by the first born." Fitz smiled. For years both Karen and Gerry sporadically dropped the M word and Liv certainly didn't mind as it never failed to warm her heart each time.

"You guys have fun. I'll call you later."

"Bye Baby. Have a great rest of the day. Love you."

"Love you too sweetheart."

Olivia, the kids, Huck and Abby were sitting on blankets in the backyard on their makeshift outdoor cinema watching one of the kids favorite movies, which meant they talked more than they watched.

"Ice cream run..." Gerry said jumping to his feet.

"We'll help. Come munchkin," Karen held out a hand to Bellie who grinned and stood to her feet. Olivia watched after them wistfully. Abby caught the sadness in her eyes and placed her hand over Olivia's giving it a reassuring squeeze. Olivia met her gaze and nodded with gratitude. Olivia turned her attention back to the screen inwardly pulling herself together before the kids returned.

"Hi Baby," Fitz whispered wrapping his arms around her. Olivia looked up in surprise turning so that she could hug him properly.

"I'm so glad you're here." She murmured vulnerably into his chest.

"There was no way I was going to be anywhere else." Olivia lifted her gaze and saw that they were alone,

"You're the reason for the sudden need for ice cream," Fitz smiled

"The kids let us in. Teddy's inside with them currently re attaching himself to Bellie. Olivia chuckled,

"I'm just glad they love each other so much."

"Me too." Fitz positioned himself behind her as she leaned against him between his legs.

"I was hoping you'd be back tonight." She confessed.

"Nothing could keep me away Liv," Olivia reached behind her and cupped his cheek with her palm as her other hand intertwined with his hand that lay on her stomach.

"Thank you," she murmured softly lifting her gaze. Fitz dropped his lips to her forehead then to her lips and back to her forehead.

"Talk to me." She said caressing his cheek as she watched his face closely,

"I'm scared Liv." He admitted knowing there was no point in pretending,

"I'm scared of losing you. I'm scared that I gambled the rest of our life only to lose."

"Baby," Olivia said sitting up turning to face him. She placed a hand on each cheek and held his gaze,

"I love you. I love our kids. I love our love. That leaves little room for regret. Would I have loved to have spent the last every day waking up to you? Absolutely. Do I regret that we did everything we possibly could to protect Bellie and the rest of our kids from the scandal, my answer is no. And I know that I haven't made it easy for you the last eight months and I am so sorry for that but Fitz you and I are square. You didn't fail me. We are where we are not just because of you but because of me too. I've controlled our narrative. So hear me when I say please don't blame yourself for what could have been if this doesn't turn out the way we hope it will. I too thought we had a lifetime. I took it for granted that we would have the rest of our life to get it right and I am so sorry Fitz." She apologised with tears in her eyes. Fitz brought his forehead to hers,

"Promise me that you won't let what could have been tear you apart. The kids need you, and I need you to be okay." She pleaded.

"Liv, sweetheart calm down. I promise." Olivia stared into his eyes and eventually nodded. She wrapped her arms around him as her into a tight embrace.


	20. Magical places

*** a fluff of a chaper before the battle. Thank you to those who faithfully reviews. Know that i love and appreciate them. Have a great week ahead ***

Olivia had a surprise up her sleeve and it was a big one that required many mini operations to make it happen. Cyrus was a big help, and her fellow gladiators along with Huck, Jack and Tom had moved mountains knowing just how important it was to her to pull it off. At ten that evening they had all piled into unmarked SUV's. There was an air of excitement that had all of them giddy, from Fitz down to Teddy.

"Come on Liv, a clue." Fitz begged sounding like a little boy which made him all the more adorable to her.

"Uh no. We'll be there soon enough."

"Hey Liv are we going where I think we're going?" Gerry asked turning from where he sat shotgun beside Huck. Liv knew by the twinkle in his eye that he had figured it out.

"We sure are,"

"Oh my gosh, we really are. Nice work." Karen exclaimed figuring it out for herself.

"Smart kids." Olivia said with a chuckle dropping a kiss on Bellie's sleeping head as she ran her fingers through Teddy's curls. She sat at the very back between Bellie and Teddy who they carried into the vehicle asleep.

"No fair." Fitz protested

"Really Fitzgerald." Fitz grinned at her sheepishly

"Sorry Liv,"

"It's okay Baby, not long to go you'll be there soon." She placated.

When Fitz they were close to see Fitz realised where they were going when it came to view.

"Oh my gosh Disneyland Paris!" Gerry, Karen, Huck and Liv started laughing.

"Surprise baby. Welcome to Disneyland Paris."

"Wow. How did you pull it off?"

"Massive operation, dropped a few names, called in some favours. It's closed to the public so we have it for the rest of the night. Secret Service are all over it." Fitz was grinning from ear to ear.

"Thanks Livi."

"You're welcome Baby." She replied placing a hand in his shoulder in front of her and giving it a squeeze. Fitz covered her hand with his and kept it there. Only Teddy and Bellie matched Fitz excitement and enthusiasm as the three of them literally bounced out of the SUV.

"That is the man leading our nation?" Abby asked quietly as she stood behind Olivia.

"I'm excited not deaf Abby." Fitz retorted poking his tongue out at her,

"Yeah that move didn't help your cause honey." Liv said patting his arm. The whole Grant clan and Gladiators in tow walked into the gates of the happiest place on earth to be greeted by Mickey and Minnie Mouse.

"Livi you know Mickey?" Teddy exclaimed in awe after Mickey had greeted them all by name. Mickey nodded emphatically draping an arm around Olivia who laughed,

"Yeah sweetie, Mickey and I go way back."

"Wow!" He replied slipping his hand into hers. Fitz took a still half asleep Bellie into his arms and carried her as she lay her head on his shoulder. Karen and Gerry were walking closely beside Liv pointing at their favorite landmarks from the last time they were.

"Hey Mom, can we go on ahead and hit the the rides?" Karen asked,

"Sure honey take Jack and Tom pwith you."

"We'll go with them. Come Ger, I challenge you space mountain, till one of us throws up." Abby challenged.

"This should be fun." Lindsday stated following them.

"Don't break my kids." Olivia called out to them making Gerry and Karen turn to grin at her. Fitz was beaming when she turned back,

"What?"

"Nothing. Where to?" He asked.

"It's a Small World." Bellie suggested lifting her head from Fitz's shoulder.

"You can go with the big kids for a bit if you want. This is your first time,"

"Nah, let the old man start slow." Olivia smiled and looped an arm through his as they made their way to the more age appropriate side of Disneyland. With the sky dark and lights twinkling, it made for a perfect night. Fitz and Bellie rode a teacup together as Liv and Teddy did simultaneously. It wasn't too long till the older kids had joined them. Olivia cherished the laughter of those she loved so much as they all took to a tea cup each. Huck stood discreetly behind the shadows and took photos for Liv knowing she wanted to record the moment.

"Hey Bellie, let's take a walk to the Princess' castle" Olivia said taking her hand.

"Sure Mommy." Olivia excused them and alone they went up the bridge towards the Princess' castle which was Bellie's favourite.

"You having a good time honey?" Liv asked. With the operation being less than forty eight hours away Olivia knew that their time alone would be minimal and she needed to make sure they had some time together. After everything she was still the most important and Olivia didn't want her to forget that.

"Yeah, it's fun being here with everyone. With Daddy."

"You love having Daddy around don't you sweetheart?"

"Yeah, you seem happier when he's around." Olivia bent down so that they were face.

"Baby, I was never unhappy when it was just us. I never want you to think you and I were never enough. You and me have always been more than enough. You are my whole world. I love you so very much."

"I love you too. Mommy, are you going to be okay?" Bellie asked somewhat frightened.

"I hope so Baby. I promise you one thing, Mommy is going to fight to make sure she is because I can't bare the thought of not being with you." Bellie threw her arms around Olivia's neck and clung desperately to her. Olivia's eyes filled with tears as she hugged Bellie tightly against her. They wandered around the Princess castle for a little bit before rejoining the others.

"Come on Teddy, let's ride Dumbo." Bellie said taking his hand.

"We'll go with them." Karen offered taking Lindsay and Abby by the arm.

"Daddy come on." Teddy called out. Fitz gave Liv a quick kiss before following their youngest two towards the flying elephant.

"He sure is having fun." Gerry observed amused. Liv grinned,

"He sure is, and he deserves to. We've all done this countless times and we may have taken for granted how easily it came despite your high profile lineage." Gerry wrapped his arns around her small frame.

"You know you don't have to be brave all the time right? At least to me."

"I love you Kid. You know that right?" She said looking up at him. He had grown to a head and a half taller than she was, making her feel almost like a dwarf beside him.

"Never doubted it for a moment Mom."

"I don't know what Bellie and I would have done without you and Karen all these years. I feel incredibly blessed to have been a part of your growing up."

"Liv, we're the lucky ones. Because of you Kare and I had two parents who loved and doted on us.

We got to be a part of Bellie's childhood. You could have taken her and raised her away from all our complicated drama but you chose to stay nearby to give us that opprtunity. We don't take that lightly Liv. You may not have given birth to us, or even be married to our Dad but you have been the only Mom I'd ever known. Mellie Grant may have given birth to us, but we have never been anything more than a ways to a mean to her."

"I'm sorry she makes you feel that way Sweetheart. For what its worth I'm sure she loves you in her own way."

"Not the way you do Mom." Olivia gave his middle a meaningful squeeze.

"Ger,"

"Yeah,"

"Look out for Bellie. You know with the exception of Huck she trusts you the most. The next few weeks are going to be hard on her and I just need you to keep an eye out for her. She loves your Dad and they're in a better place but she doesn't quite trust him implicitly just yet."

"You never even have to ask. You know how much I love that little monkey."

"I know. I just want to make sure."

"Tick it off your list. Bellie will be well taken care of."

"Thank you Ger Bear."

"You're welcome Mom." He said dropping his lips to her head.

When the others had returned Gerry pulled his Dad by the sleeve.

"Come on Old Man its time you graduated to grown up rides. You coming Kare?"

"Uh no. I have no intention of getting in the middle of your testosterone filled dares to each other." Karen answered knowingly.

"Abby?" Fitz dared,

"You are so on POTUS! Let's go Harrison, lets give this first family a run for their money."

"Gerry take it easy on your old man. They don't make spare parts for his model any more." Liv called out teasingly make Fitz's jaw drop in protest and disbelief.

"You wound me Liv."

"Love you Baby."

The rest of them lagged behind enjoying the sights way too tired for any more rides. Both Teddy and Bellie were asleep shoulder to shoulder in a golf cart being driven by Huck.

"So how goes the boy?" Liv inquired. Karen haf just started seeing a boy from her class.

"Good. We're taking it slow. We're sort of each other's first relationship and we're just enjoying the ride so to speak. I really like him Liv."

"You shouldn't be scared of that. Life is short honey and if you feel strongly, go for if. Loving someone will always be a life altering experience. Even if the experience doesn't end up being what you want it to, you have the power to take the good from it. Our experiences, those good and bad make us who we are." Wordlessly Karen wrapped an arm around Liv's waist as Liv draped an arm around her shoulder affectionately.

"I am so proud of you Kare. For the amazing woman you have become. For your incredibly big heart. Your strength. I am so glad Bellie has a fabulous older sister to look up to and emulate. She so adores you and worship the ground you walk on. I for one of many love you so much."

"I love you too Liv, so so so much." Karen declared with tears involuntarily falling from her eyes. Liv cupped her cheek and kissed her forehead before hugging her tightly.

When the boys had finally reached their limit and returned Fitz took Olivia's hand.

"Come on, I want to go on a ride with my girl."

"Liv why don't we take the kids home. We'll leave one of the SUV's for you two." Abby suggested.

"That would be great. Thanks guys." Fitz and Liv kissed the kids goodbye and promised to not be too far behind. Hand in hand Fitz strolled around the magical world of Disney.

"There's something about this place that makes you believe in fairytales and magic. Being here with you, right here, right now proves to me that both are more than possible. It's real." Olivia said softly as she looked up at the lights.

"Having you in my life tells me that." He replied kissing her in the temple.

"Thank you for doing all this."

"You're welcome. I've been planning it since that first time we went without you. I didn't want you to miss out on the experience."

"Thank you Sweetheart." Liv shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly.

"So Space Mountain?" She asked with a sly grin.

"Girl after my own heart. Let's go."


	21. Moment of Truth

The night before Olivia's surgery, they were all gathered at Chateau Pope De Paris. It was a full house so Karen and Gerry had given up their rooms for the non-residents. All four kids had camped out in the den where they normally watched movies and played games. Liv knew that Karen and Gerry made the conscious decision to keep all of them together for the sake of the little ones who were starting to show the signs of fear. She couldn't be more grateful to the older kids, she couldn't possibly love them more if she gave birth to them.

Fitz woke to an empty bed and he rose in search of her to find her in Bellie's room with their youngest daughter sitting on her lap on the very rocking chair he knew she rocked Bellie on when she was a baby.

"Mommy,"  
"Yeah Baby,"  
"Can I stay with you at the hospital?"  
"Oh honey, I wish you could but I don't think so. Besides who'll take care of everyone while I'm in the hospital? You get to run the house while Mommy's getting better."  
"Can I come see you every day?"  
"Of course you can. Hey sweetheart, want to tell Mommy what's really on your mind?"  
"I'm scared that you won't come home." Bellie admitted. Fitz heart tightened in his chest. Olivia sat up and turned Bellie around to face her taking her face in her hands.  
"Sweetheart, Mommy's scared of that too." She replied honestly pulling her daughter into her arms hugging her tightly against her chest.  
"Isobel Grace Pope, you are the love of my life."  
"I love you too Mom.' Olivia rocked till she felt Bellie slip into deep slumber. Fitz who quietly sat outside the door leaning against the wall listening to them was forced to face the possibility that he could lose her, and that just wasn't an option. After everything he couldn't lose her. Fitz pulled himself together before rising to his feet and entering the room. Though her eyes were closed when he walked in, she knew he was there.

"Hey," she greeted looking up at him giving him a small smile.  
"I couldn't sleep so I went downstairs and watched the kids sleep. Bellie was tossing so I picked her up and we've just been hanging. Really I just wanted to hold her. I can't believe how she's grown. How remarkable she is. We made her. She is a product of our love. She's my little miracle." Fitz crouched down beside her,  
"She truly is a miracle, but you Olivia Pope are my miracle." Olivia smiled and ran her fingers through his curls,  
"You doing okay?" She asked as he nodded.  
"Liar," she countered affectionately.  
"You?"  
"I'm good."  
"Liar," he replied making her chuckle. Fitz brought his lips to her,  
"I love you." He murmured as he leaned his forehead against hers."  
"I love you too." Olivia shifted in the rocking chair to make room for him. With his arms securely around her, he was able to fall back asleep. Olivia took in the silence and just savored the moment. She was surrounded by the people she loved most in the world. There was little room for regret. She would fight as hard as she could to ensure that she would be with them for as long as she possibly could.

As worried as Olivia was about Fitz and the kids, they had each other. She worried for Huck most of all. For the last ten years he had been devoted her. For the last seven years, he had been devoted to her and her daughter. She knew that they were the only family he had, and she was worried about what would happen to him if she didn't come out of this.

After dinner that night while he checked the parameters she waited for him on the porch steps of the backyard.

"You should be inside where it's warm." He reprimanded as he walked towards her.  
"It's warm enough and I have layers. I'm not cold. I promise. Sit with me." She said patting the space beside her. Huck wordlessly obliged,  
"Huck,"  
"Yeah Liv,"  
"Thank you for everything. For always looking out for me. For protecting me and Bellie. For doing everything you can to make us happy. You always said that I saved you that day on the Metro. That's not true Huck, that's far from true. The thing is, you saved me and you have been saving me every day since. I was all alone, except for you. I don't know what I would have done without you, so thank you for always being there, for being the one person who has stood beside me without judgement or conditions."  
"I need you to be okay Liv." Huck said softly, brokenly. He looked up at her,  
"You are the only family I remember. You, Bellie, you have given me purpose. You loved me, more than that, you saw me. You've always seen me. I can't lose you Liv. I need you to live."  
"I sure am going to fight to." She promised resting her head on his shoulder.  
"Promise me something,"  
"Anything,"  
"If,"  
"Liv, no."  
"Please," Huck sighed and waited for her to continue.  
"If I don't get out of this you'll continue to live. Bellie will need you. You are her best friend in the whole world. She can't lose you too. Don't slip into that darkness Huck. That's not your life anymore and it hasn't been for a really long time. I need you to remain the Huck Bellie's only known. Promise me. Bellie will never be without love but it's you she needs to be able to breathe. She's just like her Mom that way. There is a comfort only you bring. Please Huck. I need you to promise me."  
"I promise."

The Pope-Grant-Gladiator clan rose early in preparation for a day in the hospital. Olivia knew it would be futile to even tell them that they didn't all have to come so she didn't bother.

"Fitz baby, chill." Liv said catching his hand in hers. Fitz stopped fidgeting and looked at her sheepishly.  
"Sorry,"  
"It's okay, you're just making the troops nervous." She said quietly glancing at the rest of their family.  
"I'll be okay." She promised. Bellie climbed up to sit beside Olivia on the bed. Instinctively Olivia wrapped her arms around her daughter tightly.  
"Did you bring your Mexican Dominoes?" Liv asked,  
"Yep. We're going to teach Daddy how to play."  
"Well you make sure he doesn't cheat okay."  
"I don't cheat." Fitz said in protest as both Karen and Gerry scoffed behind him knowing he was notorious for being a sore loser.  
"I rest my case." The mood in the room dampened as the Doctor entered the room.  
"Miss Pope, the nurse will be in shortly to get you ready for surgery. The surgery itself should take a few hours, and then we'll wheel you back in here." Olivia nodded being now well versed in the routine. Bellie tightened her hold on her mother as she listened. When the nurses came in Olivia gave Bellie a tight squeeze and kissed her.  
"Mommy will see you in a few hours. I love you Bellie Boo."  
"I love you too." Huck walked over to pick up Bellie from the bed. Olivia caught his hand in hers and they exchanged a look that only they understood. Bellie lay her head on Huck's shoulder as she watched the rest of them kiss her Mom.  
"You ready?" Huck asked Bellie. Bellie looked at her mother who gave her a reassuring smile.  
"Yeah, let's go." Bellie waved at her Mom as she and Huck slipped out of the room.  
"Huck normally takes her for a walk so that she's not here while they wheel me away. It's not an image I want her to have in her head." Olivia explained. The orderlies came in moments later ready to take her to surgery. Fitz swallowed hard and put on a brave face.  
"See you shortly Sweetheart." Liv nodded. Fitz bent down to kiss her,  
"Come back to me." He whispered as he leaned his forehead against hers.  
"Of course." She promised placing a hand on his cheek looking at him right in the eye.  
"I love you."  
"I love you too Sweetheart."

As they wheeled Olivia out of her room Karen and Gerry stood at either side of Fitz as if to keep him upright. Teddy pulled at his shirt and Fitz picked him up.

"Is Livi going to be okay?" he asked.  
"I hope so little man. I hope so." Fitz replied.  
"I'm going to go see where Huck and Bellie are." Gerry said feeling like he should be doing something.  
"Try the courtyard," Abby suggested,  
"She likes the garden."  
"Thank you," he said gratefully dropping a kiss on her cheek before heading towards the lift.  
"I'm worried about him." Karen confessed to her Dad as he released Teddy to Harrison who was offering to play UNO with him.  
"Gerry?"  
"Yeah. He and I are tight, and we are attached at the hip, but Liv is his closest confidant. He feels blindsided and helpless."  
"We all do sweetheart."  
"You know Liv is the first person he calls about everything."  
"I do honey. I know she's yours too. So as worried as I am about your brother, I am equally worried about you. I know you're scared too. We will get through this together. Liv is a fighter. You know she'll be fighting in there."  
"I know, but Dad I'm a talker. Gerry isn't."  
"I'll keep an eye on him." Fitz promised pulling her into his arms.

There wasn't much any of them could do but wait and think as positively as they could. They had set up an office for him so that he could work if or when necessary. Cyrus was covering for him as best as he could but there were some things that only he could sign off on. With elections just around the corner there was a different buzz in DC. One that allowed him to fade into the background as the new nominees fought for a chance at the presidency. He couldn't wait till it was all over. He just wanted to go on with his life with Liv and their kids praying that they had the time he always hoped they would.

For the next few hours they waited. There was a lot of pacing and worried glances exchanged. Fitz noticed that Bellie stayed close to Huck, and though she would allow Gerry or one of them to sit with her, she always found her way back to Huck. Up until that day Bellie was never allowed to wait at the hospital. Huck would always take her out of the day and just come back when it was all over. Therefore sitting around the hospital unnerved her a little.

"Bellie honey, did you want something to eat?" Fitz asked knowing that she barely ate at breakfast and had picked at the sandwich he had bought her for lunch." Bellie looked up from her book and shook her head.  
"No thank you."  
"You should eat something Bea. You know it's the first thing your Mom's going to ask you."  
"I'm not hungry Hucky," she answered turning from where she sat on his lap to look at him.  
"I know you don't feel hungry Bea, but you gotta eat something."  
"Hey Bellie Boo, why don't we go downstairs and half a burger together?" Gerry suggested standing to his feet holding out a hand to her. Bellie looked at Huck who nodded.  
"We'll call Gerry's phone if the doctor comes out with news about your Mom." Bellie reluctantly hopped off Huck's lap and took Gerry's hand. As they stood by the lifts Bellie wrapped her arms around Gerry's waist. Gerry looked down surprised. He picked her up and Bellie wrapped her legs around his middle as she placed her head on his shoulder.

When they returned Bellie was still wrapped around Gerry, which he didn't at all mind. If he were honest it brought him comfort. Just as they were about to sit down the doctor emerged from the double doors bringing them all to their feet.

"The surgery went well. We were able to remove all the tumors without having to remove her ovaries. However she will need to undergo aggressive Chemotheraphy. It's going to be a tough road ahead, but Miss Pope is an incredible fighter." A collective sigh of relief filled the room.  
"When can we see her?" Fitz asked,  
"She'll be in post op for an hour or so. Then we'll bring her down."  
"Great thank you Doc."  
"You're welcome."


	22. Post Op

Fitz sat vigil by Olivia's bedside. She was brought in earlier that evening and the doctor had warned them that she would more than likely be out for the rest of the night. It took some convincing but after subjecting themselves to another sub average meal in the hospital Fitz had sent the rest of them home promising to call with any updates. The look on Bellie's face, on each of his children's face made him almost give in and let them stay. Bellie who was sitting on Gerry's lap looked over to Huck who nodded. Reluctantly she stood to her feet and reached a hand out to Gerry,

"Let's go home." If Fitz hadn't realised how deep Bellie's bond was to Huck it was becoming very clear at that point. He couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy. In the last thirty hours it wasn't him she sought comfort from. It was everyone but him. Mostly Huck, Gerry, Abby and Karen who he understood were her constants. It stung a little nonetheless. He watched as Bellie walked over to her sleeping mother and take her hand in hers.  
"I'm going to go home now Mommy. I'll see you tomorrow. I love you to the moon and back." Huck lifted her so that she could give Olivia a kiss. Huck gave Olivia's hand a brief but meaningful squeeze without a word. While the rest of them said goodbye Bellie waited patiently by the door with Fitz.  
"I'll see you in the morning Princess." Fitz said giving her a hug,  
"You promise to call when she wakes up. Please?"  
"Of course Baby. You keep that phone close. If Mommy wakes up you'll be her first phone call." He promised. Bellie nodded,  
"Thank you." As he watched them leave it only reminded him of how much work was ahead of him with Bellie. There was no doubt she loved him, she just didn't know him and she would never truly get the revelation of his love for her till she knew who he was.

Fitz fell asleep with Liv's hands in his, his head resting on her bed. He woke to the gentle squeezing of his hand. He stood to his feet happily.

"You're a sight for sore eyes. How are you feeling?" He asked kissing briefly on the lips and forehead,  
"I love you," he murmured as his face hovered close to hers. Liv smiled and placed a hand on his chest,  
"A little sore but I'm good baby." She brought her forehead to his and kissed him,  
"I want to hug you so badly," he confessed.  
"Me too," she said carefully moving to make room for him on the bed. He was about to protest when she moved her hand from his chest tp his cheek,  
"Please. I just want you to hold me." Fitz nodded and climbed on the bed beside her wrapping his arms securely around her and she placed her head on his chest.  
"I have to call Bellie. She'll be waiting. She won't sleep till she talks to me." Fitz nodded and slipped his phone out of his pocket and called Bellie,  
"Mommy," she answered not at all sounding sleepy as she should be at three in the morning.  
"She's right here Princess," Fitz said with a chuckle bringing the phone to Liv's ear.  
"Hi sweetheart."  
"Are you okay Mommy?"  
"Mommy's fine sweetheart. You can go to sleep now and and I'll see you in a little while. I love you little girl, to the moon and back."  
"I love you too. See you soon." Olivia handed Fitz his phone back,  
"She'll spread the word. She always does. Chances are they're all camped out in the entertainment room anyway. They never put her down in her own room on the first night. They usually all stay with her till she's seen me." Fitz found his arms tighten around her. It hurt to think they had been down this road not once but a few times that they had developed a routine in place. Olivia took his hands in hers and played with his fingers.  
"I probably should get a nurse or a doctor to check you out."  
"I'm okay. They'll come to check in a little bit." She paused and smirked at him,  
"But if it would make you feel better to call a doctor in here to check me out, go on. Don't let me stop you." Fitz grinned and dropped a kiss on her forehead,  
"May I point out that if the shoe was on the other foot, you'd be just as bad. I won't be long. Did you want something to eat? Drink?"  
"Maybe some juice?"  
"You got it. I'll be right back." Olivia nodded and grabbed her phone as he walked out of her room,

"Hey kid."  
"Liv, are you okay?" Gerry said worriedly.  
"I had a hunch you wouldn't take your little sister's word for it so I thought I'd call you directly so you can hear for yourself that I am indeed okay."  
"That transparent huh?"  
"I just know you. So how's the household?"  
"Much better after Bellie spoke to you and she seemed okay. We've been using her as a human gauge. If she was uber worried, we were worried, when she wasn't we weren't." Olivia laughed,  
"Of course pick the one who does not have a poker face."  
"Are you really okay?"  
"I'm up and a little sore. Your Dad's gone to get the doctor so I won't really know much till then."  
"How's he holding up?"  
"He's worried, just as I know you are."  
"That whole lack of poker face thing, it might be a Grant thing, well at least when it comes to you Pope's. Amy sends her love by the way,"  
"How is Amy? I haven't seen her in a little while, everything okay?"  
"Yeah, she's been busy with work too. She just got a promotion so she's practically living in her office."  
"But you two make time?"  
"Yeah Liv, we do. She wanted to come as soon as I told her, but I told her you were going to be okay, and that we should give you some time to settle in after the operation before bombarding you with our presence."  
"I really like Amy Ger. I'm not saying she's the one you should marry but I couldn't imagine anyone else better suited for you right now. She balances you out."  
"I love that she loves me for me and not for who my father is. Or at the very least what his day job is."  
"Ger, anyone lucky enough to get to know you would never see past who you are to care about what your Dad does for a living. And you know despite his day job your Dad is as down to earth as they come. Who he was before he became the President it mostly who he still is today. His title has never defined him. So you never have to shy away from the fact that he is the President, it hasn't defined him and it shouldn't define you. Anyone worth having in your life would know that."  
"I know, thanks Liv."  
"So I take it you and Huck are the only ones awake?"  
"Yeah, the moment Bellie said you were okay, everyone started dropping like flies."  
"I bet, well I better let you go get some rest. If I know my child she'll be waking you all at dawn to take her to the hospital." Gerry laughed knowingly.  
"Huck already promised her that if she was awake and no one else was, he would take her."  
"She's not at all spoilt is she?"  
"Maybe, but you wouldn't know it. She's the most unbratty child in the world."  
"You my love are not at all biased are you? I truly hope she stays that way."  
"I bet. Get some rest Liv. I'll see you tomorrow. I love you."  
"Bye kid, I love you too, up the moon and back." She replied just as Fitz entered her room carrying several bottles of juice.  
"I wasn't sure what juice you felt like so I got you your favourites. The doctor is on his way. Apparently there was a big emergency downstairs. Was that Ger?"  
"Yeah. I just wanted to check in with him."  
"Everyone okay?"  
"Yeah apparently they all finally went to sleep after Bellie hung up from talking to me."  
"I'm glad you talked to him. I figured he'd be out of sorts till he spoke with you."  
"He's become such an amazing young man. I'm so proud of him. Of him and Karen, and Teddy. You make pretty good babies Mr President."  
"We make pretty good babies. Gerry, Karen and Teddy may not have physically come from you, but how they've grown has a lot to do with you. Especially Ger and Karen. Because of you, they have never lacked for love or searched for the love that should have readily come from their mother. You have no idea how much that has meant to them, to me."  
"I couldn't imagine what my life would have been like without them. Bellie and I have loved having them so accessible. Bellie thinks the world of them. She and Gerry have their own language that words are rarely ever necessary. Bellie's whole childhood was so much fuller because they were around. She worships the ground Karen walks on and truly looks up to her like a little sister looks up to her older sister. Bellie's been incredibly lucky. She has always been surrounded by people who love her. She's never had to question whether she was loved,"  
"Except when it comes to her own Dad." Fitz said quietly in obvious regret.  
"Hey, she knows you love her."  
"Not the way Gerry, Karen or Teddy do."  
"She'll learn Fitz. You just need to give her some time to get used to you being around. She's not hard to win over."  
"She's so self sufficient."  
"That's just in her DNA. You've met her mother right? It doesn't mean she has no need or want for you. I know it's hard for you to see her so close to Huck, to Stephen or even Gerry and I am in large part to blame for that. I moved her so far away that I robbed you the opportunity to be so involved in her life, but you're her Dad. She'll get what that truly means once she's had some time with you. Just be patient."  
"I know, I just feel like I failed her, that because I didn't fight for her, I've lost her."  
"You haven't lost her Fitz. She wants to get to know you just as much as you want to get to know her. She's just as scared as you are. Hang in there." She said placing a hand on his arm. Fitz nodded and resumed his position beside her on the bed. When the doctor came in a little while later he found them both asleep wrapped around each other's arms. Without waking Olivia he checked her vitals and all the other necessary things and was satisfied with his findings. He left a not for them that he had checked her out and will see her when she was awake the following morning.

Olivia awoke to Bellie leaning over giving her a kiss on the cheek, completely unfazed to see her parents entangled in each others arms.

"Hi Baby," Olivia greeted pulling her into the best hug she could without rousing Fitz from his slumber.  
"Who's with you?" she asked noticing that Bellie was alone in the room.  
"Hucky, he's gone to get a coffee." Liv knew that was Huck speak for go have some Mommy time.  
"Daddy snores." Bellie observed, sitting at the foot of Olivia's bed.  
"I do not snore." Fitz protested waking up.  
"Okay, so they have a freight train in the hospital?" Bellie teased making them all laugh.  
"You wound me Princess. Are your brothers and sister still asleep?"  
"Yes, Hucky promised to take me as soon as I woke up."  
"Good man that Huck," Fitz said,  
"He's the best." Olivia smiled Huck had no bigger fan than one Isobel Grant.


	23. new seasons

It had been months since Olivia's operation, though they had tried to be as prepared as possible they had underestimated just how hard it was going to be. They all struggled to watch her be in complete agony despite how hard she tried to shield them from it.

Only days after her operation Fitz had to fly back to DC in time for the elections. He fought Cyrus till he knew there was no other choice. He was at least able to stay till after her first dose of Chemo where he had laid beside her on her bed as they administered the poison that could possibly buy her the time she needed to live the life she had waited so long to live with Fitz and their kids. He held on to her tightly as the poison ran through her veins. When she shivered he would only hold her tighter. When it hurt he would kiss her forehead and when her body involuntarily twitched he ran his hand soothingly down her back. He was careful to hide the tears that wanted to break free from his eyes as he watched her helplessly.

Their Christmas was inentionally upbeat for the treatment began to take their toll on Liv who began to struggle with what it was doing to her body. It was worse than it had ever been and it upset her to see the fear that began to show in their eyes. A part of her was glad that Fitz wasn't there to witness it all as much as she missed him. But every time he did come she saw in his eyes the fear that they were fighting a lost battle.

Liv noticed how hard Fitz worked to gain Bellie's trust and for the most part she met him halfway, but just like her mother there was always a seed of weariness within her that she battled with. She watched as all four Grant kids banded together to support each other. Each having their own bond with Bellie enabled an unfailing well rounded support system for her, for which Liv was eternally grateful for.

Her ever faithful silent and devoted Huck stood beside her through it all. He truly was like a brother to her and without him and the responsibility she felt for him it would have almost been easy to give into the exhaustion she felt, but just as she couldn't leave Bellie, Fitz, Gerry, Karen and Teddy she couldn't imagine leaving him. She knew it would be his undoing.

"Hey Dad," Bellie greeted seeing who it was on caller ID.

"Hey Monkey. How was school today?" He asked. His twice daily phone calls had now reached the all time high of three times a day. Morning, after school, and before bedtime. Olivia began to do the same for Teddy who found it hard to be away from Olivia especially when she was so unwell.

"It was good. I got an A on that project Gerry helped me with for science when he was here last week."

"The egg thing?" He confirmed knowingly. His attention to detail in her every day life was impressive.

"Yes, I got extra credit for the photo journal of all our experimentation."

"That's great," he said proudly. Isobel Grant was incredibly smart and never really needed help but thrived in working with whoever offered.

"How's Mommy today?" He asked. Bellie looked over at her mother who was napping in the hammock that Huck had installed for her wrapped up and under several layers of blankets.

"Better. Because it's a non treatment month she's not sick all the time but she seems to tire a lot."

"Sweetheart that's to be expected. You know that better than anyone. Her body takes a beating during the weeks that she has treatment so when she's not having treatment her body is just trying to heal itself. She'll be a little more energetic in a few days. You know your Mom nothing keeps her still long enough."

"That's true." Bellie who was already too mature for her age was forced to grow up a little quicker with Olivia's illness. She didn't speak like a normal seven year old and sometimes Fitz forgot she wasn't the same age is Karen or Gerry. It was only when he physically saw her that he was reminded that she was still his little baby girl.

"So what was on Uncle Cyrus' agenda for you today?"

"Not much. Handing over mostly. Only a few days to go and I'll finally be therefore with you guys for good."

"I'm so glad." She admitted.

"Me too sweetheart. So Gerry, Amy, and Karen will pick you up so you can all fly to DC together for the inauguration." It took a lot of convincing but Bellie finally agreed to join them not really wanting to leave Olivia. Fitz had wanted Olivia to be with them too but she was much too weak to make the flight let along endure several inaugural balls and if she were honest with herself Olivia had began to feel self conscious about how she looked.

"Yeah he arrives tomorrow, while Amy and Karen will arrive they day after. Amy couldn't get off work earlier and Kare Kare has a play on. Dad..."

"Yeah sweetheart."

"Mom will be okay while we're gone won't she?"

"Of course she will. She wouldn't be so adamant for you to go if she didn't think she would be." He said trying to reassure her but they both knew that was a lie. Liv wanted Bellie to have a break. Away from worrying about her. Away from watching her get so weak. She also wanted Bellie to at least get a taste of what she had denied her hiding her away in Paris instead of allowing Fitz to introduce her to the world, to his world.

"Listen kiddo your Mom just wants you to have a timeout and not to worry about her so much. To have some fun with your siblings. She'll be right there when we all get back."

"Okay," she finally relented.

Abby, Huck and Liv sat on the couch as they watched the inauguration of the new Republican president which they were all sighing with relief wasn't Sally Langston. With a large bowl of popcorn between them and water in Wine glasses it gave the illusion that all was normal even if it was feeling anything but that. She caught a glimpse of her family, all dressed to the nines. Amy and Karen did an amazing job picking the perfect design for Bellie's dress. It suited her to T and it became glaringly obvious that her little girl was little no more.

"God she's beautiful." Abby said breathless as her eyes fell on Bellie. Liv noticed Huck's eyes discreetly well up with emotion as he came to the same conclusion she did only moments before.

"She certainly is. She kind of takes your breath away doesn't she?" Liv murmured to no one in particular. To herself mostly.

"She's all you Liv."

"In part maybe but she's her father. That face, that stance, that charm. She's a Grant through and through. That's not a bad thing."

"She's all grown up." Huck finally uttered. Liv who was sitting with him to her right placed a hand on his knee and gave it a comforting pat.

"It happens,"

Upon their arrival Abby and Olivia had prepared a feast. When her Grant's walked into their home the smell of Liv's cooking greeted them like a hug from Liv herself. They all grinned to find her in the kitchen looking healthier than they had seen her in months. Bellie made a bee line towards her mother who caught her in her hug.

"Hi Baby. Mommy missed you. All of you." She said looking up at them without releasing Bellie from her arms. Gerry, Karen and Teddy all ran up to hug her. Seeing the five of then huddled together in a group hug warmed Fitz's heart. Reluctantly they peeled themselves off Liv to give Fitz a chance to say hello.

"Hi beautiful." He murmured cupping her face with his hand before pulling her into his arms. Liv buried her face contently into his chest breathing him in as she wrapped her arms around his waist. The kids, Abby and Huck cleared the room to give them some time alone.

"You're here." She said almost in disbelief. Fitz kissed her on the lips and then on the forehead.

"I'm finally here and I am all yours. I'm not going anywhere without you ever again." He vowed hugging her so tight she could barely breathe.

Fitz enjoyed life after presidency. For the first time he felt like he was home, that he was free. The only thing that dampened his homecoming was Olivia's illness and the uncertainty that parked itself like a cloud over their family. After Karen was finally graduated from college she had taken an internship in a prestigious school in Paris not wanting to be far from the family. Amy moved into the Grant's flat in London with Gerry after Karen moved to Paris and temporarily into her room at Liv's where they were all happy to have her.

Abby and David had long since gotten their own place together nearby leaving her room to be redecorated for Teddy who moved to Paris with Fitz. When Mellie and Fitz had asked who he would like to go with he didn't hesitate to say Fitz and Mellie didn't fight it. Bellie, Gerry, Karen and Liv had repainted and redecorated his room like a planetarium which was what he currently loved so he was more than elated to see the finished product. He joined Bellie in her school and quickly found his footing. He and Bellie were remarkably close and Fitz and Liv enjoyed watching them together. Having Teddy there filled the void of Gerry's absence for Bellie who would have been pining for Gerry. The older he got the more responsibilities he had, not just with work but his own personal life. He still called every day, multiple times most days but his weekly home visits were harder to manage.

Fitz had taken Bellie and Sarah to their ballet lesson and Teddy had opted to stay with Liv which he often did especially if Huck was in his office working even if it was just in the backyard. Much like his father and older brother Theodore Grant was fiercely protective of those he loved. Liv could sense there was something on his mind as he keot stealing glances at her when he thought she wasn't paying attention. Liv who was prepping for dinner put her knife down and wiped her hands,

"What do you say you and I take stroll down the beach little man before the sun begins to set?" Teddy who seemed like he was carrying the weight on his shoulders looked up surprised and nodded. He went to the hallway and grabbed her jacket. Though it wasn't cold they all insisted she be rugged up whenever she stepped out of the house. She chuckled inwardly at how alike father and son were. They had walked in a comfortable silence for a few minutes before she draped an arm around his shoulder,

"Wanna tell me what goes on in that beautiful head of yours little one?" Teddy stopped walking and looked up at her.

"Liv, do you think, I mean what would you say, would you mind if," he stammered nervously. Liv placed a gentle hand on his cheek as if to calm him down,

"Land your plane honey," she watched as he took a deep breath before meeting her gaze,

"Can I call you Mom?" Liv grinned widely and pulled him into her arms.

"Nothing would make me happier honey. I would be honored to have you call me Mom." She saw the relief that flooded through his face and demeanor. He had been around enough to hear Gerry and Karen call her Mom. More often than not they called her Mom and referred to her as their Mom not just at face value but in every essence. They walked for a little while longer before heading back to finish up dinner.

After dinner every night once Teddy and Bellie had been tucked into bed Huck would stay in the house while Liv and Fitz went for a walk or a drive somewhere just to get some time together. Most nights they either ended up by the dunes or Bellie's tree house.

"You nervous?" He asked as they walked hand in hand along the beach. Olivia shrugged,

"A little, more than anything I just want it to be over. Know once and for all you know?" Fitz draped and arm around her shoulder,

"Of course. Fitz what if?" She began but was unable to complete her sentence but his heart broke knowing what she was eluding to.

"Then we cross that bridge the best way we can, together."


	24. Results

Just before sunrise Fitz woke to find Liv missing from the bed. He got up in search of her assuming she was with one of the kid in their room and began to panic when he realized she wasn't in the house. He was about to grab the phone to call Huck to help search for her when his eyes fell on the note on the kitchen counter. He sighed with relief and grabbed his hoodie and slipped it on before heading out to the beach. He found her at her favourite spot by the dune watching the waves.

"Mind if I join you?" Liv looked up and smiled.  
"I was hoping you would." Fitz positioned himself behind her so that she could lean against his chest as he wrapped his arms securely around her,  
"Can't sleep?" he asked.  
"Big day. My mind won't stop whirring."  
"Scared?"  
"A little. I don't want to go through all that again Fitz." She confessed tiredly. He knew the treatment was starting to take its toll on her not just physically but mentally. She had begun to loose her hair a couple of months after her intense treatment.  
"I don't want to give up but I don't think I have it me to go for another round. I don't want to spend my last days clouded with treatment. I want to enjoy my last days with all of you without it being cloudy." Fitz closed his eyes trying to gain the strength he needed for her.  
"Liv, I can't bear the thought of you suffering. Nor can I bear the thought of you having to go through more treatments if it's too much. But Liv, I don't want to imagine a life without you. After everything we have been through, we finally have the chance, and I don't want to foresee a life without you. The selfish part of me wants you to keep fighting, for me, for us, for our kids, for our life together. Liv, I can't do this without you. Please don't give up." Liv turned around and wrapped her arms around him and held him tightly against her as he broke down in tears.  
"Hey, hey, shh, I'm sorry. I won't give up. It's okay Baby. I'm not giving up."  
"I'm not strong enough to do this without you. I need you to breathe Liv." He said desperately. Olivia ran her fingers through his hair while her other hand rubbed his back soothingly.

She sighed knowing it was a conversation she wasn't able to have with any of them and she couldn't prepare them if they weren't willing to listen. Truth was she didn't know what the results had in stored for her later on that morning, and though she hoped for the best, a part of her also needed to prepare herself for the possibility that all was not as she hoped it would be and what would her counter measure be.

"Hey Mommy," Bellie greeted walking into her bedroom as Liv got ready for the day.  
"Hi Sweetpea. You finished breakfast?" she asked rubbing lotion on her arms and legs.  
"Yeah, we're all done. I helped Karen with clearing the table so Gerry and Teddy are doing the dishes. Mommy, you're going to doctor today?"  
"Yeah Baby,"  
"They're going to tell you if you're okay?" she asked being well versed with the routine.  
"Yes honey, I'll find out today if the medicine has worked."  
"Are you scared?" Liv looked up and walked over her daughter,  
"Come honey," she said taking Bellie by the hand and leading her to the armchair. Liv sat down and pulled Bellie to her lap.  
"You and me no secrets right?" Bellie nodded in agreement,  
"Mommy is scared honey. Mommy's scared that she won't see you grow up. That I won't be there when you need me. You and I have been together every day of your life. I love you more than anything in the world and you are the reason I breathe in and out every day. I can't imagine not being there for you every day for the rest of your life."  
"I'm scared too." Bellie admitted.  
"It's okay to be scared sometimes." Liv said trying to reassure her.  
"We can scared together Mommy."  
"We can be, and you know what?"  
"What?"  
"That already makes me feel less scared." Bellie smiled as she snuggled deeper into her mother's embrace.

Karen followed Gerry out the door after he had finished washing the dishes. They had all come home for the weekend knowing Liv was due to get her results. Either way they wanted to be there. It had been a tough few months for all of them. Having their Dad free from his responsibility meant that he was finally with Liv full time which made going back to London to resume their work and school life more acceptable.

"Ger, you okay?" Karen asked,  
"No, and I know if I asked you the same question you'd have the same answer."  
"I think everyone in our household would have the same answer." She replied.  
"Do you know we're in her WILL?"  
"Gerry!" Karen admonished,  
"We are. I was in the study the other day looking for a pen and I knocked over some files on her desk and in one of the folders was a copy of her latest WILL. She's named you, me and Teddy along with Bellie, equal parts." Karen stopped walking shocked. Not necessarily by the contents of the WILL but the fact that there was one. It made it all so final.  
"Bellie has every right to everything she has and she's divided it into four as though we're hers."  
"She always said that we were nothing less than her kids. That we may not have physically come from her but in her heart we are hers." Karen said softly. All of a sudden Karen couldn't breathe. She bent over, head between her knees trying to catch her breath. Gerry rubbed her back gently, trying to calm her down to slow her breathing.  
"Hey, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you." Karen looked up with tears streaming down her face,  
"I don't want to think of a life without Liv in it Ger. I wouldn't have survived all these years without her. She's what's kept me on the straight and narrow. Without her you know I would have rebelled and done a lot of stupid things all in the name of our mother. Liv loved me more than enough despite the fact that she never needed to. I don't remember a significant part of my life that she wasn't a part of after the age of thirteen. I don't want to imagine any significant part of my life without her."  
"Me too."

Olivia had watched the eldest Grant kids from her bedroom window. Bellie had fallen asleep in her arms and she had put her down on her bed she caught a glimpse of them in the corner of her eye. She watched as Gerry pulled Karen from where she was crouched over her legs into his arms hugging her. Her heart broke for them. She felt awful that they had to endure all the heartache because of her.

"Is this a private group hug or can anyone join?" Gerry and Karen looked up not hearing her approach. Wordlessly they pulled her into their embrace.  
"I'm sorry," they barely heard her whisper.  
"For what Liv?" Gerry asked confused,  
"For putting you through this."  
"Liv, you have nothing to be sorry for. You didn't ask for any of this, and we're a family. We're in this together." Karen explained.  
"I kind of feel like my being sick has had all of our lives on pause, especially you two. You have your own lives in London and you're so worried about me that you're home every weekend, you're worrying all the time."  
"We're a family. It's what families do. You taught us that" Gerry assured her.  
"You know, I loved Bellie from the first moment I felt her in my stomach, but you two, you were the first kids I ever loved. I remember meeting you both at the campaign. So extremely shy and unaware, you hated being a part of that campaign, but you loved your Dad so you went along with it."  
"Oh my gosh we used to follow you wherever you went. You were the only person in that campaign who didn't pretend to care. You just did." Karen recalled.  
"Yes, and I remember every time I was about to work into my office I would either find you under the table playing hide and seek, with each other, but mostly just hiding from whomever was looking for you. After awhile your Dad caught on and just headed straight to my office whenever you two conveniently disappeared from one engagement to another."  
"It used to make Mom so mad, which admittedly was the most appealing part."  
"I remember." Liv said fondly,  
"And you used to lie to her when she asked if you'd seen us." Gerry pointed out amused.  
"What can I say? I had your back even way back then, and I always will. I know we're all scared for what those results will show, so scared it makes me sick, but whatever the results, we face it as a family. That aside, there's one thing I want both of you to know," she said looked at them both, cupping a cheek with both her hands,  
"I could not love you any more had I given birth to you. My life would not have been the same without you and I am grateful for every day that you have been in it. I wish I could explain it, but I can't. I just do."

Liv had thought about leaving the kids at home, but looking at them, all a bundle of nerves, she knew that she couldn't keep them in suspense any longer than she had to. So the six of them had driven to the Doctor's office together and together they sat before the Doctor awaiting their fate. Bellie climbed on to her mother's lap, Fitz took her hand in his while Gerry, Karen and Teddy stood right behind them, each with a hand on Liv's shoulder.

"Well Liv, it's good news…" the doctor said with a smile.  
"You're all clear." Olivia looked at Fitz and back at the doctor who nodded in confirmation. Liv burst into tears as they all threw her their arms around her happily.  
"We get to have our chance…" she said softly in disbelief as Fitz kissed her.  
"We sure do baby." He replied happily.

_**Soooo there you go! You didn't really think I'd kill Liv did you? I thought about it… but I figured you'd all come after me with pitchforks. I think this is it for this story, but I am thinking of a sequel for this story of their life post presidency and post cancer. A story where we can watch Bellie and Teddy grow up. My mind whirls… hope you enjoyed this story as much as I did writing it. Thank you for all of your amazing reviews, they kept me going. Happy Monday to all. Take care! Be blessed always! xx E**_


	25. Sequel up

So finally I got myself organised and started the sequel to Heartbreakingly Tied to You... it's called 'Our Beginning'


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